My point is that when people are doing their best to comfort you, it's best to try accept their efforts in a positive way, in the way that they are meant.
I've read through to the end, but this is where I land. In fact, if someone is in pain for any reason, it's always best to seek out the comfort of those who provide the type of comfort you need.
For example, my brain processes things logically, not emotionally. It doesn't mean I'm not compassionate; it means I express it in terms of logic or facts. So about 5 years ago when a good friend had a jaundice baby and called, of course I felt terrible, but my knee jerk reaction was to make sure she understood that this term applied to newborns is nowhere near as alarming as an adult who wakes up with yellow eyeballs.
She knew me well enough to know that if she needed hugs and tears, there were others better much better equipped to provide this. And nobody was wrong and nobody was right. It's just who we are.
I do think balance is achievable between comforters being careful how to express things vs comfortees being careful how they receive things. But the latter is more my gut reaction.