Close your darn legs!

[spaceheatersusan]

But in my experience, they won't move their legs so as to not press on yours. They'll just let their legs press up against you pretty hard. THEY don't mind.


I do sometimes leave my leg where I want it, and then say "excuse me," and point to their leg.

Exactly.  I squish up because I don't want to be pressed up against a stranger.  I'f I'm coming or going from class, I'll wedge my backpack between his leg and mine and that helps a bit.

[Barb3000]

I remember running into this once in a movie theater. A leg was encroaching on me and I kept shifting away. When I looked down and my two legs were as far to one side as possible and the leg was still after me, I realized I was dealing with a pervert.  So I switched seats with my date who was sitting on the aisle, on the other side of me.

 Really, who tries to perv up a girl with a date? And at a Marx Brothers movie?

[Ginger G]

I encountered this on a plane on my last business trip, so annoying...there's so little room as it is on planes nowdays.

[Twik]

Really, who tries to perv up a girl with a date? And at a Marx Brothers movie?

Well, a perv. They're not known for their sense of appropriateness.

[MindsEye]

I encountered this on a plane on my last business trip, so annoying...there's so little room as it is on planes nowdays.

Me too.  I was in the window seat and the guy in the seat next to me was so spread out that he had his foot on the bag that I had under the seat in front of me.  (No one gets to rest their feet on my carry-on but me!)  So I kicked him.  Then I crossed my legs so that the sole of my shoe was planted firmly on his knee/shin.  Which is what finally got him to reluctantly (with a lot of pouting and angry glares) move his leg and foot out of my space.  The whole thing was this strange silent pantomime since he was wearing headphones and pretending that he couldn't hear me, and was also refusing to speak to me.

(He ended up pivoting slightly so that he could spread out into the aisle instead.  Karma occurred later in the flight when the attendant ran over his foot with the drink cart.)

[Venus193]

Ah, yes; spider monkeys are infamous for their display.  This drives me bats on the subway.

[Giggity]

"Excuse me, please don't touch me."

[Thipu1]

Just like everyone else here, I hate this.  (maybe not with the fire of a thousand suns, but it's pretty bad.  I gets even worse when the guy decides to sit with legs spread and hands on hips. 

It seems like the offenders are mostly young men and teenagers. 

I read somewhere that subconsciously, men are conditioned to take up as much space as possible while women are conditioned to make themselves as small as possible.  That's one reason why teenage boys often try to 'beef up' while teenage girls may go on crazy diets. 

[TootsNYC]

Really, who tries to perv up a girl with a date? And at a Marx Brothers movie?

Well, a perv. They're not known for their sense of appropriateness.

Also, they don't want to date you. They want to invade. It probably ups the ante that your already "taken"--their sense of power goes up.

[Venus193]

I agree with that assessment.   It's a swipe against your date because you are not perceived as anything more than his possession.

This stuff gets on my last nerve.

[Tea Drinker]

I once had a man try to shove my leg aside on the subway so that he could spread his wide, and he insisted, loudly and explicitly, that he was entitled to the space because he was male. I didn't move. Note that there was nobody on his other side, so this wasn't about a physical need to avoid squashing his equipment: it was explicitly "I am male and you are female, so I am going to take space that you were already using."

[Giggity]

I once had a man try to shove my leg aside on the subway so that he could spread his wide, and he insisted, loudly and explicitly, that he was entitled to the space because he was male. I didn't move. Note that there was nobody on his other side, so this wasn't about a physical need to avoid squashing his equipment: it was explicitly "I am male and you are female, so I am going to take space that you were already using."

"Excuse me, please don't touch me" would work just as well here.

[snowdragon]

I once had a man try to shove my leg aside on the subway so that he could spread his wide, and he insisted, loudly and explicitly, that he was entitled to the space because he was male. I didn't move. Note that there was nobody on his other side, so this wasn't about a physical need to avoid squashing his equipment: it was explicitly "I am male and you are female, so I am going to take space that you were already using."

I would not care if he had someone there and was risking his equipment. If it's that much of a problem, he can stand.  He does not get to shove me into a corner just because he's male - I  have told guys "Get your body parts off me and leave me alone!" - It usually attracts attention from more decent men and that's what jerks like that don't want.

[kherbert05]

4 steps (I live in Houston we don't have public transport to speak of so this happened on planes)
1. Please move your leg
2. You are in MY Space please sit in your space
3. (Said loud enough to get attention from others) Stop touching me NOW.
4. (Continued in a loud voice - You are being inappropriate (because it is them asserting their power over my space) STOP NOW.

[Kari]

This happened to me yesterday! I decided to put up with it because it was a crowded bus and the man was very large: His took up all of his seat and half of mine. I chose to sit and accept the situation rather than stand and block the pathway, since I was only riding a short while.

But if the guy isn't larger than the seat he's sitting in, I have no sympathy; he's either being a jerk or clueless. Most men can certainly sit in a seat and open their legs for a bit of comfort without rubbing up against their neighbor. To spread their legs wide open as if they were airplane wings is just ridiculous and inexcusable.

I like the previous responses that advise to firmly tell the offender to back off. I've handled it differently in the past: I've found that the guy amazingly realizes that his equipment allows for his legs to draw in a bit more when I suddenly start getting very into the music I'm listening to and start bouncing my leg up and down.