Etiquette in a Text?

[BabylonSister]

I usually try to answer texts as soon as I can.  I roughly put them in three categories:


1. needs answer ASAP: texts that ask a question and I know the person needs the answer quickly.


2. answer would be nice but I won't drop everything for it: chat texts.


3. no answer necessary: texts that say "You're welcome", or a smiley face.


I don't apologize for taking too long unless it was a question and I took a long time to answer, or unless the person was initiating a conversation and I didn't get around to answering until much later in the day.


I'm a text maniac.  My phone plan was upgraded last year from 250 texts per month to unlimited texting.  I find it a special joy of modern times to hear the text message signal.  Phone conversations are lovely too, but getting a text from a loved one is a little like unwrapping a small present.

[Mikayla]

First, I don't think text messages are adequate methods of communication when you are trying to have a conversation.  When I send a text to someone, I don't expect that they will necessarily see it right away or respond right away.  I respond to text messages when I can.  I use texting more for short messages like "Here's the address of the restaurant"  "meet me at 7"  "are you doing anything Saturday?"  "I'm on my way".  Short messages that don't require a lot (if any) back and forth. 

So, in that regard, I do think that 24 hours is a good window. 

If you're talking to a guy that you are "dating", and having long text conversations vs. phone or in person conversations, I see this as a red flag (Not saying that's happening here).   Texting is not a good way to have the "get to know you" or "this is how my day went" or philisophical or whatever conversations.  That's what phone calls and dates are for.

This is 2 separate issues and I agree with you on both. 

I don't think there's any wrong way to use text, as long as you communicate your preferences to others if you're outside the norm.  I don't check texts every day and people close to me know this.  If they need a quicker response, call.

And I also agree that texting is a bad habit to get into when starting relationships, or actually any time the conversation needs to be phone/in person.  You miss nuance, etc and perceptions can get really skewed.  Then it adds fuel to the fire when they attempt to resolve the miscommunication via more text. 

[NotTheNarcissist]

Apologies up front for this answer but I have just been through the ringer with texting & emailing drama llamas.

If the person is a drama queen/ drama llama: no rules. I respond at my convenience if I even choose to do so.

If the person is non-drama "of sound mind" (for lack of better term at the moment: I respond usually as soon as I get the text, & I keep it short. My phone is there for my convenience, not the other way around.