Author Topic: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?  (Read 13428 times)

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oopsie

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What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« on: January 18, 2013, 12:40:14 PM »
This morning, I got a call just after 8am.

Background: the call was from the woman mentioned in this thread:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=123698.0;topicseen

I don't like this woman and have tried to make a cut direct with her - something I thought would be easy to do when they moved.

When she called just after 8am, she woke me up. I hadn't heard from her since just after they moved to a town over an hour away this past summer. She started by making small talk which involved her asking me questions about my life (what have I been up to?, were we going on any vacations this year?, etc.) I answered her questions politely but did not go in to any detail.

There was a lull in the "conversation" where she stopped her questions to me and I guess, was waiting for me to start asking her questions about her life but when I didn't, she said "well this is turning out to be an awkward conversation."  ???

Anyway, she finally got on with it and told me that she was calling because she had invited a friend of her DD (who is also a good friend of my DD) over for the weekend and thought maybe our DD could also come. It was very last minute so I had to decline. She then went on to tell me all about her life since they moved and how great things were, yadda, yadda, yadda.

When I got off the phone with her, I couldn't help but feel miffed by the whole thing. It's like she was put out by my not being enthused by her phone call. Meanwhile I'm thinking "Lady, it's just after 8am, you woke me up, I don't really want to have a conversation with you right now, we're not BFFs (in fact I would love never to see or hear from you again ever) and all for a last minute, second thought invite for DD?"

Personally, I think any phone call before 9am unless an emergency or from close friends or family (a know your audience kind of thing) is a no-no but it got me thinking...is there an "etiquette approved" time to call someone in the morning?

Shoo

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2013, 12:46:57 PM »
I hate to say it, but once again you've been far too nice to this woman.  You should have told her she woke you up and you're not awake enough for a conversation.  Then say sorry, goodbye, and then hang up.

And I do think 8 a.m. is too early to call someone's home.  I wouldn't call someone before 9 a.m. unless I knew with 100% certainty they were up and awake.

jaxsue

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2013, 12:49:33 PM »
I think 8 am is a bit early to call someone unless you know without a doubt that they are up for the day and available. In my case, that would only be my work supervisor; I know she's up at 6 am, as I am. Our workday starts early. And even then, I text instead of call.

I know a couple of people who get upset if you call before 11 am (they don't work nights). Yet they will call me at 10:30 at night, which is far too late for non-emergency calls for me. Yeah, a little respect the other way around would help.  :P

jaxsue

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2013, 12:50:21 PM »
I hate to say it, but once again you've been far too nice to this woman.  You should have told her she woke you up and you're not awake enough for a conversation.  Then say sorry, goodbye, and then hang up.

And I do think 8 a.m. is too early to call someone's home.  I wouldn't call someone before 9 a.m. unless I knew with 100% certainty they were up and awake.

What Shoo said.

Cami

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2013, 12:54:44 PM »
I do not call people in my personal life before 9am or after 9pm. The only exception would be my sister.

I am not a morning person and if you wake me up, you will get a very groggy and highly irritated version of me and will quickly learn that calling early is not your best possible option. In other words, do not feel compelled to continue a conversation when you have been woken up. A phone call is not a court subpeona -- you don't have to answer and if you answer, you do not need to continue a conversation.

bah12

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2013, 12:55:19 PM »
I don't know that there's a set time.  I'm up at 5am everyday (even weekends), and most people that know me well, know this.  So, getting a call at 8am is not an issue.  For someone that I don't know well enough to know when they'd be up and ready for a conversation, I probably wouldn't even try before 9:30 or 10am unless I had arranged with them to call earlier.   Emergency calls are the exception of course.

I too think you were too nice to this woman.  You should have told her it was too early and that you couldn't talk. 

LeveeWoman

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2013, 12:55:40 PM »
I would've told her I was asleep, said "good-bye" and then hung up the phone.

EMuir

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2013, 12:58:53 PM »
It would depend how well I knew the person.  If a casual call and I didn't know them, I'd wait until after noon.  They could be sick and trying to sleep.  Of course I also turn off the ringer on the phone in my bedroom and only take calls on my cell, and people who have that number know that if they call that number while I'm sleeping and there isn't someone bleeding, I will be very angry. :)

DaDancingPsych

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2013, 12:59:27 PM »
I agree that 9am is the cut-off point. I think that you would have been fine to say, "I'm sorry, but this is not a good time to talk." No reason to let her continue on, especially when you don't care to have her in your life.

rose red

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2013, 01:00:12 PM »
I usually don't call before 9:30am unless it's an emergency.  Next time, you can say "Now is not a good time for me to talk.  Is there anything you need that can't wait?"

Hmmmmm

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2013, 01:00:52 PM »
I agree with others that you were too nice. As soon as you knew who it was, you could have said, "I'm sorry, now is not a good time to talk.  I'll call you back later in the morning."

Unless I know someone is up I don't call before 9am. The only exception would be if I absolutely had to catch someone before they left for work, but then I'm pretty sure they are up getting ready to go to work. 

Jones

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2013, 01:03:18 PM »
 :-[ I was going to say 8 am. Most people I know are up by then unless they have a funny shift.

Sharnita

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2013, 01:04:06 PM »
I would actually say 8.  I realize 9 is when a lot of businesses open but those people did not beam in from bed where they were sound asleep a moment before. On a weekend I would wait until 9.

jemma

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2013, 01:05:56 PM »
I think that unless you have special information about someone's schedule, 10 to 8 is acceptable for calls to homes. Even if people get up earlier for work, they may be sleeping in at home.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2013, 01:06:33 PM »
9 am to 9 pm is my calling window, unless I know otherwise.  My Dad is up early so if I need to get a hold of him, I'll call him in the morning between 7 and 8, before I go to work.  And I have friends that are 2 and 3 time zones behind me so while it might be 10 where I am, it is 7 or 8 where they are.  These friends are about the only ones who call me after 9 but they call before 10 so it works out fine.

If the phone rings at an inconvenient time, I just don't answer it.  I let it go to the answering machine.  If I hear on the machine that it is someone I do want to talk to, I'll either grab it while they are leaving the message or call them right back.
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