What is an acceptable time to call someone in the morning?

[Thipu1]

We normally call SIL and MIL on Saturday mornings.  MIL's in our same time zone and SIL is one zone earlier.  We usually call at about 9:30 our time. 

MIL is usually up around 7 and, because she's gotten into WII tennis, she often blows us off because of her appointment.   . We'll happily call back later in the day.

SIL is also usually up because they have a family tradition of Grandpa's Saturday Pancakes and the kids are there. 

Of course, an emergency call can come at any time but 9 to 9 seems reasonable, unless the person you're calling is ill.

[Yvaine]

9-9 if I don't know you well.

9 to about 10:30 if you're most of my close friends.

1pm to 2am if you're one particular night owl I know. 

[Maggie]

If you are trying to give someone the cut direct why answer it to start with?  Then you don't have to worry about telling her it is to early to call.  You can also choose whether or not to return the call later.  After a cup of coffee and the world looks sane again!

[TootsNYC]

I don't like this woman and have tried to make a cut direct with her - something I thought would be easy to do when they moved.

When she called just after 8am, she woke me up. I hadn't heard from her since just after they moved to a town over an hour away this past summer. She started by making small talk which involved her asking me questions about my life (what have I been up to?, were we going on any vacations this year?, etc.) I answered her questions politely but did not go in to any detail.

Since you don't want to have a conversation with her, the best way to handle it is to seize control of the conversation and end it.

So you should have said, when she asked how you were, "I'm fine--is there a specific reason you called?" Then deal with that as BRIEFLY as you can (and as directly--no excuses, etc.).  In other words, TELL HER or ASK HER to "get on with it." (just not those words, naturally)

This is part of the indirect way of telling her, "I'm not very interested in you personally." And you need to send it *sooner* so that you don't put her in the awkward position that you put her in. You answered her social questions, etc., but refused to do the other half of the equation. That wasn't polite. So next time, immediately send the conversation straight to the "business" aspect of it, and then get off the phone.

In your case, since you DO want to continue the contact for the girls' sake, you also get the convo over to what you ARE willing to be in touch about, and then you should be warm and enthusiastic about the kids and their friendship.

Then, for ANYONE who was awakened by a phone call or who doesn't want to stay in the stupid phone call, you say, "I'm going to go--I was in the middle of something."

If it's someone you might want to train to call you later, you say, "I was sleeping--I only get to sleep a little later on the weekends."


But in general, I would say, on a weekend, I would NEVER call someone before 9:30am unless I had absolute reason to know for certain that they're awake. On a weekday, I wouldn't call them in the morning PERIOD (again, unless I absolutely knew their morning schedule for certain).

[Bijou]

It depends on the person.  If they are early risers then whenever you know they will be available.  I am a very, very early riser and there are at least two people who will call me as early as 6am.  I do the same with them.
Most people, though, not before 9am and some maybe later. 

[luvmyboys]

my rule is weekdays 9 - 9  and weekends 10 - 10
Unfortunately my in-laws refuse to abide by this rule, makes me nuts. 
I would have told that woman that I was sleeping and gotten off of the phone. 

[kareng57]

Not the same kind of situation - but if it's a school-volunteer event then 9 am can be too late.  The particular co-ordinator will have left her house by then.

The particular situation was when I'd volunteered to be at the school at 9 am to count the money collected for the hot-lunch days (I usually had to bring my well-behaved younger child with me).  A couple of times I couldn't attend because he was suddenly sick.  While around 8 am wouldn't have allowed the co-ordinator enough time to find another volunteer, I wanted her to know that I wasn't simply a no-show who'd forgotten about it.

[oopsie]

That wasn't polite.

And then there are others telling me that I was too polite. Can't please everyone I guess. 

[oopsie]

If you are trying to give someone the cut direct why answer it to start with?  Then you don't have to worry about telling her it is to early to call.  You can also choose whether or not to return the call later.  After a cup of coffee and the world looks sane again!

I don't have call display. The first thing that usually goes through my mind when I get an early morning phone call is that it's an emergency involving my family.

[zyrs]

Back when everyone had landlines and some people had party lines, my elementary school had a paper they sent home about phone etiquette with 9 am to 9 pm weekdays and 10 am to 9 pm weekends.  So that is what I follow unless I know the other person's schedule.

My mother was scandalized by how late it was okay to call at the time, all of us kids were in bed by 7:30pm and the phone would have woken us up.

[MariaE]

Not the same kind of situation - but if it's a school-volunteer event then 9 am can be too late.  The particular co-ordinator will have left her house by then.

Depending on where you live, 8am might be too late for that as well. I've always started school at 8am - now I start work at 8am. If people need to get hold of me before I leave for work, they have to call between 7-7:30.

[Shopaholic]

I don't call people before 9 am in a weekday unless I know they're up or discussed the time if my call with them earlier. I'm not a big fan of early morning calls either, despite being up at 6 and out of the house at 7. My brain needs its time to deal with the world.
On a weekend, not before 10-11.

[cicero]

this is an interesting thread.

i hadn't really thought about it much - i don't make that many outgoing calls - but I would lean more toward an 8-8 than a 9-9. but that's me.

we are up quite early in my house - DS is up around 4 and I around 5. however, since i live in an apartment building with terrible acoustics (e.g., we hear other people's phones ringing, alarm clocks, etc) i wouldn't want someone to phone me too early because it might disturb other people. and also, while i *usually* wake up early, there are days that i sleep in so don't assume that i'm up early.

it also depends who i'm calling - my sister who has 4 kids of varying ages and so someone is usualy up by 7? my bestie who has no children at home and she and her husband are up by five?

but i agree with PPs- OP you didn't need to stay on the line with her at all. If you are trying to cut her out of your lfie, then cut her out of your life (as best as you can, knowing that you want your DD ot remain friends with hers). if she calls at 8 AM or at 4 PM or whenever - once you've established that this is a social call, you can say "sorry gotta go, cat's on fire"

[---]

Unless there is an emergency or we are expecting an early call, the roommate and I will not tolerate phone calls before 10 am or after 8 pm. We really don't care if our jobs need us to come for the day or someone just wants to chat, we really don't want to talk to someone when we've got our morning chores to do. Most people at my job know not to call prior to 2 pm, they've gotten more then their fair share of lectures.

We also don't call prior to a certain time or after a certain time with other people either. While the roommate and I are often early risers anyways, we know not everyone is.

[Cosmasia]

I'm a bit surprised by the general consensus on 9-9. I would have said 8-8. I don't think 8am is really that early for a weekday, and I wouldn't call someone after 8pm except in emergency.

Well people are different for example I'm kind of opposite from you.
8 in the morning is, for me, completely unacceptable and would be met with a (polite) explanation that I do not take calls at that hour unless it's an emergency.

After 20 in the evening I usually still have enough energy to talk to someone who wants it as long as they aren't demanding my attention for a long time - and I'm fine with texts at any time of the clock be it dinnertime or 2 in the morning, because I can answer those at my own convenience.