Author Topic: Boy in ballet, he must be....  (Read 12026 times)

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FoxPaws

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #30 on: January 19, 2013, 09:53:15 AM »
^I can't even count how many men I've known that got dressed up in girly clothes at least once growing up (especially if they had older sisters). Most of them are happily hetero with kids of their own.  ::)
I am so a lady. And if you say I'm not, I'll slug you. - Cindy Brady

Last_Dance

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #31 on: January 19, 2013, 10:00:27 AM »
Variation on Amava's suggestion upthread:

Busybody: aren't you afraid he'll become...you know.
You: ...a good dancer? *I'd suggest a cross between "wide-eyed-innocence" and "duh"*

Or, if you have enough patience, you could try to explain the concept of false equivalence.
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #32 on: January 19, 2013, 10:10:35 AM »
^I can't even count how many men I've known that got dressed up in girly clothes at least once growing up (especially if they had older sisters). Most of them are happily hetero with kids of their own.  ::)

I knew a very straight guy in college who dressed in drag on Halloween.  And dangit if he didn't look really good in a dress, too. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Hunter-Gatherer

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #33 on: January 19, 2013, 10:13:37 AM »
My four year old son is also in ballet class.  This one has only come up a couple of times, but when it has I go with a combination of, "If he does, so what, but I highly doubt that taking dance class would be the cause of it" and "If he doesn't and he sticks with ballet, he'll be the one boy surrounded by lots and lots of ballet dancer girls, and have a common interest and things to talk about and practice with them... I wish I'd been in that situation as a teenage boy."

Cami

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #34 on: January 19, 2013, 10:21:13 AM »
A friend of mine has a son who became a ballet dancer (as in studied and was able to get professional work as a ballet dancer as a youngster and adult). She encountered the, "Aren't you afraid?" question countless times. Her answer was quite simple. "No."  And that was the end of it. If someone persisted she would simply repeat, "I'm not afraid of him being gay."  It never failed to work.

JanaL

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #35 on: January 19, 2013, 10:24:27 AM »
Clod: "A boy in ballet, he must be..."
Me: "Interested in learning ballet?"

Lynnv

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #36 on: January 19, 2013, 10:32:24 AM »
Would saying "Are you seriously speculating about the sexual orientation of a CHILD?  Because he enjoys a form of dance?  Could you be any creepier?" be wrong?  Okay-probably, so some of the other answers are probably better and definitely eHell approved.  But this would be my first thought.  Honestly-it is just creepy.
Lynn

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mmswm

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #37 on: January 19, 2013, 11:36:52 AM »
The boys in my old neighborhood used to tease my middle son because he took ballet. (middle son is not affected by the bone disease that the other two have).  We moved into that neighborhood over summer break.  The teasing got pretty bad.  DS just grinned and ignored it. Then school started.  DS had all the "pretty" girls hanging out with him, inviting them to their lunch table, and cheering him on during the various games they played in PE.  The mean boys couldn't understand why all the girls just loved DS.  He just laughed. I have to say I'm a lot more worried about DS becoming a womanizing scum bag than I'd ever be of him becoming "you know".


Outdoor Girl

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #38 on: January 19, 2013, 11:57:03 AM »
I have to say I'm a lot more worried about DS becoming a womanizing scum bag than I'd ever be of him becoming "you know".

I'm sorry but this made me laugh.   :)

Back when my now 20 year old nephew was about 4, I was making a cake for coffee hour after Easter service.  I had extra batter from the large cake I was making so I made a smaller cake, too.  I was setting out to do the decorating and my nephew was all over me, watching what I was doing.  He was driving me nuts so I filled a piping bag, threw on a star tip, showed him how to make stars and let him go, decorating the smaller cake.  Which gave me some piece to decorate the larger cake.

My brother came in from outside and was a little taken aback because he thought cake decorating was a girl's thing.  He's relaxed a lot about it, especially when his younger son wanted a doll.  His mother got him a little doll that was a boy.  The doll was a favourite toy to cart around, but mostly by a leg or arm.  There was no baby cuddling of that doll.
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VorFemme

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #39 on: January 19, 2013, 12:34:39 PM »
The boys in my old neighborhood used to tease my middle son because he took ballet. (middle son is not affected by the bone disease that the other two have).  We moved into that neighborhood over summer break.  The teasing got pretty bad.  DS just grinned and ignored it. Then school started.  DS had all the "pretty" girls hanging out with him, inviting them to their lunch table, and cheering him on during the various games they played in PE.  The mean boys couldn't understand why all the girls just loved DS.  He just laughed. I have to say I'm a lot more worried about DS becoming a womanizing scum bag than I'd ever be of him becoming "you know".


I remember a story told by a guy who grew up sewing....the male athletes were being mean to him about taking Home Ec and "being that way".

He pointed out that they were sweating with a bunch of guys, showering with them, and surrounded for hours a day by all GUYS. 

He was the only guy in the home ec class and they were working on sewing that semester.  He was surrounded by girls and asked to help pin up hems & fit patterns or dresses in progress.  Why were they claiming HE was acting g@y?  He was the one guy surrounded by GIRLS!

I have no idea what happened next - but apparently the jocks quit calling him g@y.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

mmswm

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #40 on: January 19, 2013, 12:40:18 PM »
I have to say I'm a lot more worried about DS becoming a womanizing scum bag than I'd ever be of him becoming "you know".

I'm sorry but this made me laugh.   :)

Back when my now 20 year old nephew was about 4, I was making a cake for coffee hour after Easter service.  I had extra batter from the large cake I was making so I made a smaller cake, too.  I was setting out to do the decorating and my nephew was all over me, watching what I was doing.  He was driving me nuts so I filled a piping bag, threw on a star tip, showed him how to make stars and let him go, decorating the smaller cake.  Which gave me some piece to decorate the larger cake.

My brother came in from outside and was a little taken aback because he thought cake decorating was a girl's thing.  He's relaxed a lot about it, especially when his younger son wanted a doll.  His mother got him a little doll that was a boy.  The doll was a favourite toy to cart around, but mostly by a leg or arm.  There was no baby cuddling of that doll.

Feel free to laugh.

As for the cake decorating, I have this friend who prides himself on his cakes.  He made his own wedding cake, and has done wedding cakes for a number of friends.  Now, that in itself, isn't the big deal.  The funny part is that by looking at him, you'd never know he'd be into something like that.  He's 6 foot 2, former Army helicopter pilot, tattooed from his neck to his waist/wrists, drives a Harley.  You'd think by looking at him that he's a biker gang thug.  The reality is that he's a well respected scientist in his field and likes to decorate wedding cakes for fun.

VorFemme

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #41 on: January 19, 2013, 01:22:44 PM »
Guy I used to know in the Air Force sewed - looked a lot like Number One from Star Trek: The Next Generation....about six foot tall.  We went to his second wedding (and his older daughter's wedding a few years later). 

He sewed for relaxation - usually redoing the upholstery in cars - he was into a particular classic car....I just don't remember the name of the car twenty-five years later.  It would be funny - VorGuy and his fiancee/wife both had experience in the sheet metal shop, so they would compare techniques there once in a while.  He and I would talk about a tricky bit of sewing on upholstery, velvet, or leather.  Must have really weirded out a few eavesdroppers....
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Hawkwatcher

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #42 on: January 19, 2013, 03:24:32 PM »
Egads! do people *still* believe in this garbage?


I recently watched the film Billy Elliot, which was made in the 1980s.  I remember thinking that our attitudes that our attitudes had changed signficantly toward boys dancing after viewing that film.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  I agree that it is ridiculous to have to deal with these attitudes in 2013. 


Snowy Owl

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #43 on: January 19, 2013, 03:49:04 PM »
Egads! do people *still* believe in this garbage?


I recently watched the film Billy Elliot, which was made in the 1980s.  I remember thinking that our attitudes that our attitudes had changed signficantly toward boys dancing after viewing that film.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  I agree that it is ridiculous to have to deal with these attitudes in 2013.

Billy Elliot was interesting.  I liked it that he was the one who wanted to do ballet but was heterosexual and his best friend Michael who didn't dance was gay.  By the way the guy who plays the adult Billy at the end (with all the make up, feathered shorts and bare chest) is married with children. 

I think liking dancing, or pretty clothes has nothing to do with orientation.  I know at least one male bellydancer who loves the the clothes, sequins and the dressing up but also likes rugby and going to the pub and chatting up pretty girls.  I think part of the reason he likes bellydance is because he's surrounded by girls in revealing outfits and is incredibly popular with them.  That said he is a really good dancer. 

People are delightfully complex and can easily enjoy contrasting occupations and pastimes.   In the latin classes and socials I attend we have people of all different occupations and backgrounds and I've no idea whether most of them are gay, straight or somewhere in the middle. 
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Allyson

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Re: Boy in ballet, he must be....
« Reply #44 on: January 19, 2013, 08:29:29 PM »
So many assumptions here. The assumption that ballet is 'feminine' and doing anything feminine will make a boy less masculine. The idea that being less masculine will make him gay. The idea that gay men are always 'girly'. The idea that being less masculine or gay is a negative. I'd love to have something that politely and clearly said 'I disagree with all of these assumptions'.

Maybe 'We will love him whether he's gay or straight, but I don't believe dance classes will have any effect on that'. Though that doesn't address the 'masculine' concerns, only the gay ones.