Boy in ballet, he must be....

[camlan]

My mom forced my then-15-year-old brother to take ballroom dance classes. He hated it. Or at least that's what he said. I did notice that he went to every single class, no matter how loudly he protested.

Now that he's all grown up? He's incredibly popular at weddings and other events where there is dancing. He ends up teaching women the basics of the rumba and the cha-cha. He's in the military and on occasion has to attend military balls, where his dancing skills are in great demand. He has women calling him and asking him to go with them, because he is a reliable dancer.

As for the topic of the OP. I have an 8 year old nephew who takes Irish dance lessons. When he was younger, he was determined to do everything his big sister did, including finger nail polish, sparkly dressups and play makeup. He doesn't like war movies or loud noises or the sound of people yelling at each other. He's not into team sports. He cares more than most 8 year olds about how he is dressed and if his top goes with his pants.

He is an excellent swimmer and gymnast. He stands up for little kids on the school playground who are being bullied by bigger kids. He's outgrown the desire for finger nail polish and eye shadow.

But you would not believe the comments that other people make about his choices, even close family members. My SIL has a good take on this. "Liking purple won't make him g@y. But all the commenting about it might make him uncomfortable."

He's going to grow up to be whatever it is that he was meant to be. Liking Irish dance isn't going to change him.

[D-Banana]

Well Little J had a really good second 'try' (even though he hit his head on the barre; he's tall for a 3 year old) and so we've signed him up for the rest of the season.

My boss, who made the 'you know' comment, commented again that football players take it now. It seems like this is less an issue of him honestly believing it and just being of the generation where this is what was taught and implied and so he's never really questioned it.

I like the 'nothing for a straight guy there!', I think I'll save it for outside of work comments.

[littlebird]

Glad your son had fun!

And I had to share, in case you don't know/remember the book. There's a kid's picture book titled Max, written and illustrated by Rachel Isadora, about a boy who goes to his sister's ballet class before baseball practice. He gets teased, but in the end his ballet skills help him out on the baseball diamond. It was the first thing I thought of when I saw your post title, and apparently it's still in print! (It was on Reading Rainbow when I was a kid, and I'm pretty sure I have my copy around somewhere...)

[Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love]

My friend's daughter is on her middle school's wrestling team.  Wonder what people would think of that?

My friend's husband coaches the local high school wrestling team. He has said he'll never allow his daughter (who is very tomboyish and would probably love it) to wrestle. He says he's thinking of all the male wrestlers who would have to be put in the position of wrestling (and potentially losing) to a girl. That would be my hill to die on, if that was my husband.

There are no words to express how deeply sad and angry that story makes me. His poor daughter.

My Dad refused to allow me to play hockey when I was growing up. I had three brothers who did and my Dad was the coach. I had to spend my weekends bumming around the arena watching every other member of my family (save for my Mom) participate in an activity that was off limits to me. Years later my Dad apologized to me, but I doubt I'll ever really get over it

[VltGrantham]

I'm sorry, but I do have to laugh at the notion of wrestling somehow being more intimate than dancing--particularly if any kind of acting is involved.  In certain ways, I have been far more intimate on stage than I probably ever have been with my husband who dances, but does not do ballet.

In Romeo and Juliet, to name just one, there's a fair amount of "rolling around".  Not to mention, there is something to be said for spending hours with a guy's hands very near or at certain parts of your anatomy and/or sitting with your derriere right at their eye level or even in their face for long periods of time, over and over and over again.

Add in any kind of romantic acting with that and it's far more intimate than any wrestling and/or trying to pin someone to floor could ever be--at least in my opinion.  Wrestling just doesn't convey emotion, romantic love, and/or amazing music!  (At least not in my experience.)

[nuit93]

Wrestling is the ONE and only sport where I'd be a little reluctant to have boys and girls as combatants.  My son wrestled a little in high school, although quickly deciding he preferred soccer.  And one of my grandson's is pursing wrestling now in it's most basic (elementary school) level.

There are certain wrestling moves and holds which I think might be inappropriate for boys and girls to engage in together.  Some are quite ... well ... intimate.   It makes this sport different from baseball, basketball, soccer, swimming, even football.  So I kind of "get" where these parents are coming from and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the idea of a boy feeling 'shame' at being beaten by a girl.  Why would that be any different from a girl beating a boy in tennis or any other sport?

Wow--this is the first I'd heard of women being able to compete with men in wrestling.  I'm pretty sure it wasn't co-ed at my school.

[Minmom3]

My daughter's coach was a good one - and he was the coach for the entire team of boys and girls.  He ran them pretty hard when it came to fitness exercises; they had put some protocol in place to deal with fungus amongus (ring worm) that DID work; and there was never any 'handsies' business going on.  If anything, the boys were paranoid about accidentally touching 'wrongly' and were not so much respectful as frightened of messing up.  The LAST thing they all appeared to think it was was romantic in any shape or form.  I asked DD about that a time or two and she pretty much laughed it off.  The boys wanted girls who didn't wrestle, and DD didn't want the wrestling boys either - maybe because she saw them up close and personal, and really really crude...  I think the only real problem she had the two years she did it was that most of the girls showers at school were broken, AND weren't working after practice so she had to come home sweaty and stinky, so I made her put a thick towel on the car seat...

She enjoyed it a lot.  She remembers with great fondness how fit she was then, and with great sorrow how much she could eat and burn off!

[joraemi]

My son took ballet with his two older sisters when he was 3 and they were 5 and 7.  It was awesome!  The program they did for the recital that year was Mr. Big Stuff.  Can you guess who the star was??  Oh yeah baby!!  It was hilariously sweet.

  If anyone had dared to make a comment to me about him being, "you know", I think I'd have been tempted to laugh and say, "Take off your caveman hat and rejoin us in the 21st century! Can you please pass the bean dip?"

[BeagleMommy]

I'm sorry, but I do have to laugh at the notion of wrestling somehow being more intimate than dancing--particularly if any kind of acting is involved.  In certain ways, I have been far more intimate on stage than I probably ever have been with my husband who dances, but does not do ballet.

In Romeo and Juliet, to name just one, there's a fair amount of "rolling around".  Not to mention, there is something to be said for spending hours with a guy's hands very near or at certain parts of your anatomy and/or sitting with your derriere right at their eye level or even in their face for long periods of time, over and over and over again.

Add in any kind of romantic acting with that and it's far more intimate than any wrestling and/or trying to pin someone to floor could ever be--at least in my opinion.  Wrestling just doesn't convey emotion, romantic love, and/or amazing music!  (At least not in my experience.)

When DH and I were first engaged I was in a community theater production of "You Can't Take It with You".  This brought back fond memories of me having to explain "stage kissing" to DH. 

[jedikaiti]

I did a lot of Scottish folkdance and Highland dance in college, and one guy in the group was a National Guardsman, and a dang good dancer. Have you ever seen a 6 foot 3 or 4, muscular guy do the Highland Fling in a kilt and combat boots? It's impressive (if slightly clunkier than the traditional version).

I just nearly fainted.

I have to say, I am really glad I am not the OP, as the sort of nonsense being described here gets my hackles up on so many levels that the shiniest of polite spines might not save me from e-Hell.

[jedikaiti]

But you would not believe the comments that other people make about his choices, even close family members. My SIL has a good take on this. "Liking purple won't make him g@y. But all the commenting about it might make him uncomfortable."

I have GOT to remember that line.

[mharbourgirl]

My Dad refused to allow me to play hockey when I was growing up. I had three brothers who did and my Dad was the coach. I had to spend my weekends bumming around the arena watching every other member of my family (save for my Mom) participate in an activity that was off limits to me. Years later my Dad apologized to me, but I doubt I'll ever really get over it

*HUGS* I know I certainly haven't.  The year was 1976.  I was six years old.  I was *obsessed* with hockey.  I could name almost every player on my 3 favourite teams (Montreal, Boston, Vancouver), and I knew a lot about the game even by that age.  I wanted to play hockey.  So, soooo bad.  'Girls don't play hockey' I was told by my parents, and it was suggested that I play Ringette.  There's nothing wrong with Ringette, but it's not hockey, and I'm afraid my six-year-old self was pretty tactless in expressing my distaste for the idea.   So I never got to play ANY team sport, ever.

Granted, there was no girls' hockey in my neighbourhood, and things hadn't advanced to the point where they'd let girls join the boys' teams.  The only good thing that happened was my grandfather, sympathetic to my disappointment, got me a real hockey helmet for Christmas.  Best Christmas ever.

But I'm still not over the crushing disappointment of learning that my sex meant there were things I wasn't allowed to do, just because I was a girl.  I've had a problem with being female ever since. 

[GrammarNerd]

My son (11 now) started out in an all-boys tap class when he was 5.  I was told from early on that he seemed to really have a feel for it.  Eventually, they added all-boys jazz.  Cool.  Then I started talking with a friend who had a daughter his age, and she was telling me about a hip hop class, but there were all girls in it.  We started late, and I MADE him go sit and watch for a time (arranged this with the dance school).  Then, apart from this, he decided he wanted some item for school that cost $5.  He could borrow one from the school, but he wanted his own.  Fine, I told him, I'd buy it for him if he went to the hip hop class and actually participated for the next 4 weeks (end of the first term).  He did, and the rest was history.  He initially said that he wouldn't do the recital, and I said fine (warned the instructor, who said she would work on him.)  Never heard another peep about the recital until he came up and told me nonchalantly that he was doing an 8 count SOLO in the recital!  I mean....DUDE!!  And boy, did that kid get the cheers when he was out there freestyling in his little solo. 

(As an aside, all I have to do when talking with other dance parents is say "I have the boy" and people know instantly who my kid is.  It's kinda fun.  One mom told me that when her daughter saw my son in her class, she told her mom "Mom, there's a DUDE in my class!"  LOL)

That kid loves the girls, and the girls love him.  He's just that type of boy.  And however he turns out (yes, I have heard the comments too), he'll still be a great kid.  The only problem is sleepovers....most of his friends are girls, so we can't really do the whole sleepover thing.  Oh, well.

[Minmom3]

No, you can't do the sleep overs, but I've seen it where the boys stayed pretty late, and then were picked up at 10 or 11 p and went home then.  So, they got a lot of the goofy stuff to share in, but left at bedtime.  Sometimes they even came back the next morning for breakfast.  It's a work around, if distances involved are small enough.