General Etiquette > general

"I'm good" again

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White Lotus:
While working in a country with many pushy street vendors, I learned that speaking was absolutely the wrong thing to do if I was not interested.  "No, thank you" is seen as opening negotiations.  I now give a shake of my head and keep walking.  Mall culture in the US is becoming similar, with all the kiosks, sample pushers and sprayers.  It feels a little off to me not to respond with, "No, thanks," but the problem has become acute and I don't any more. Sharp "no" shake (some places it is a different gesture) and walk on.


--- Quote from: Mental Magpie on January 21, 2013, 09:56:26 AM ---
--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on January 21, 2013, 09:51:32 AM ---
--- Quote from: Mental Magpie on January 21, 2013, 07:01:00 AM ---
--- Quote from: squeakers on January 21, 2013, 06:54:35 AM ---
--- Quote from: Mental Magpie on January 21, 2013, 05:59:52 AM ---That's quite alright  :).  I'll try again.

When the answer is "no" (not any other form of it) to something that is offered, a "thanks" should automatically follow.  To not follow with a thanks is, IMO, rude.

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Depends on what is offered.

"You want another smack upside the head?" "No." 
"Would you like to try a spritz of Ritzy Stinky perfume?" "No."
"Hey, baby!! You want some of me?" "No."

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I didn't think I had to add the caveat that something that was offered out of kindness...

As for the perfume one, yes, I think thanks is required after that.
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I disagree because the person in the mall or store is not offering it out of kindness they are offering it because they want to make a sell.  But I'll admit that I have been so conditioned to say "No, Thank you" that I was finding myself walking through our local mall not even being able to complete a conversation with my DD because I was saying "No Thank you" to so many offers of calendars, sunglasses, lotion samples, tea samples, eye brow waxing and massages.  So now I'm to the point that they most they get is a "No" or a shake of the head if I even acknowledge them at all. 

I'm also ok with the phrase "I'm good" but I find I only use it after I've been offered the same thing before and have already said thank you and usually in informal settings.  Like the example of being offered another glass of wine or another cup of coffee.  The Thanks is implied and was already offered with the first, second, and third glass/cup offered.

I do however dislike the phrase in response to "How are you today?"

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So what if it is their job?  It's not out of maliciousness, it is from a place of kindness even if it means they get paid to do it.  That requires a "thanks" after the no.  If you don't feel you can have a conversation because you're too busy declining the offer, why not continue your conversation and pretend like you didn't hear them?

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Unsolicited pushiness by a salesperson is not kindness. It is harassment.


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