Author Topic: "I'm good" again  (Read 6618 times)

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gellchom

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #15 on: January 19, 2013, 06:11:47 PM »
I view this one as a trendy expression that might irk you rather than an actual rudeness. I think it's just shorthand and has an implied "thank you" in it.


I see I still haven't been clear.  Sorry.  It's not the trendiness of "I'm good" or even saying it instead of "no" that is the issue.  It's omitting "thanks" or "thank you."

I believe that etiquette requires "no, thanks," not just "no."  I believe no here one would be arguing about that.

So if you prefer "I'm good" to "no," fine, but why shouldn't you still add "thanks"?

Judah

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #16 on: January 19, 2013, 06:17:05 PM »
I agree with OP. "I'm good" instead of "No thank you" ranks right up there with "No problem" as a response to "Thanks." (I never thought it was a problem, I was just thanking you. How about "You're welcome" instead?)

Sometime around day four of our stay in Ireland I noticed that not one single person had said "You're welcome" in response to my "thank you". We started listening for it and nope, not once in two weeks did I hear "you're welcome". They had about twenty different ways of not saying it and it ended up being pretty funny.

I don't have a problem with "I'm good". The right tone implies the "thank you".
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
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Really obvious hints don't work.
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DottyG

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2013, 06:34:47 PM »
 No no no! You're clear! :)

But, gellchom, the "thanks" is (to me) so implied in it that I'm not sure it even strikes me that it's missing more often than not.

"Oh no! I'm fine!" said with a smile isn't rude when I hear it. It doesn't need the "thank you" to make it not rude. It's just as polite as the longer version.

I get your question (really I do!), but it doesn't sound rude to me.

Understand that, like a previous poster said, tone is key. Even "no thank you" can be rude in the wrong tone.

Edited to fix your name


oogyda

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #18 on: January 19, 2013, 07:21:20 PM »
The specific words, "Thank you" aren't as important to me as tone and attitude.  I always prefer a friendly or even neutral "No." to a snarkey or insincere yes, no, I'm good/fine, etc. Followed by a thank you.

Saying thank you as preferred by the OP is implying "Thank you for offering", and there are times that simply isn't appropriate.

Edited to finish a sentence.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2013, 09:15:53 PM by oogyda »
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yokozbornak

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2013, 07:32:38 PM »
It doesn't bother me at all especially if said in a friendly, polite tone.   It just doesn't seem like anything to get worked up about.

Yvaine

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #20 on: January 19, 2013, 07:33:19 PM »
The specific words, "Thank you" aren't as important to me as tone and attitude.  I always prefer a friendly or even neutral "No." to a snarkey or insincere yes, no, I'm good/fine, etc.

Agreed. We teach exact scripts for please/thank you/you're welcome to children because it's easier to impress a rule upon them when they're not old enough to understand the underlying "theory," if you will. But as adults there are a lot of ways we can phrase things, and if we sound pleasant and gracious, they can be polite phrases even if they're not the script. Kind of like how it's actually possible to say "May I have a ____" without the please and still be polite. Or I have one friend who always thanks me in German and I you're-welcome him in Spanish. Language is quirky. Tone is huge.

jpcher

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #21 on: January 19, 2013, 07:35:17 PM »
I've been known to say "I'm good" with no "thank-you's" after repetitive offers of something.

Host: Would you like some more coffee?

Me: No, thank you.

Host: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. I'm good.


I don't think that another "thank you" is necessary.

Allyson

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #22 on: January 19, 2013, 08:13:41 PM »
It's lack of clarity aggravates me when used outside of specific situations. Refusing a top-up on a glass, 'I'm good' makes perfect sense.  But the expression and use is fairly new (at least to me) so when people used it to, say, tell me they didn't want anything else with their order at work, it confused me at first. It's a slangy expression that I think isn't immediately obvious. I also hear it's cousin 'I'm OK'. I have also heard it spread to other uses of 'no', for example 'do you want to come over tomorrow and watch a movie' 'I'm good'.

I don't want it to become a shorthand for any sort of refusal...I'm only imagining. 'Will you marry me?' 'I'm good, thanks!'

Yvaine

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #23 on: January 19, 2013, 08:17:58 PM »
It's lack of clarity aggravates me when used outside of specific situations. Refusing a top-up on a glass, 'I'm good' makes perfect sense.  But the expression and use is fairly new (at least to me) so when people used it to, say, tell me they didn't want anything else with their order at work, it confused me at first. It's a slangy expression that I think isn't immediately obvious. I also hear it's cousin 'I'm OK'. I have also heard it spread to other uses of 'no', for example 'do you want to come over tomorrow and watch a movie' 'I'm good'.

OK, yeah, that doesn't make any sense. It really mostly makes sense for being offered more food or drink, etc.

DottyG

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #24 on: January 19, 2013, 08:29:18 PM »
Allyson, I've never heard it used in the way you're describing. If that were the case, is agree that it'd be confusing.

However, the way it is being used (in my experience) - usually in terms of food or drink - it's not that ambiguous or confusing. It makes sense.

It's also not really something new in my neck of the woods. It's a term that's been around so long that I don't think people really think much about it.


« Last Edit: January 19, 2013, 08:30:53 PM by DottyG »

Surianne

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #25 on: January 19, 2013, 08:58:50 PM »
I don't really mind "no problem" either. It's not that major of a deal for me.

Yeah, I remember seeing a debate on ehell about that before too that I never understood.  I use "no problem" all the time, and it really just means that -- "It was no problem helping you."  I have no idea why that's less polite than "You're welcome."

Language changes and new shorthands get formed all the time.  I don't think there's much point in getting uptight and declaring these phrases to be rude.

cross_patch

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2013, 09:03:46 PM »
I agree with OP. "I'm good" instead of "No thank you" ranks right up there with "No problem" as a response to "Thanks." (I never thought it was a problem, I was just thanking you. How about "You're welcome" instead?)

Sometime around day four of our stay in Ireland I noticed that not one single person had said "You're welcome" in response to my "thank you". We started listening for it and nope, not once in two weeks did I hear "you're welcome". They had about twenty different ways of not saying it and it ended up being pretty funny.

I don't have a problem with "I'm good". The right tone implies the "thank you".

Actually, Irish people don't say you're welcome as a general rule. We generally say "no bother" which is not NOT saying you're welcome, it's just an equivalent. It's no less polite, just a regional difference.  Is that what you meant?

Yvaine

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2013, 09:16:49 PM »
I agree with OP. "I'm good" instead of "No thank you" ranks right up there with "No problem" as a response to "Thanks." (I never thought it was a problem, I was just thanking you. How about "You're welcome" instead?)

Sometime around day four of our stay in Ireland I noticed that not one single person had said "You're welcome" in response to my "thank you". We started listening for it and nope, not once in two weeks did I hear "you're welcome". They had about twenty different ways of not saying it and it ended up being pretty funny.

I don't have a problem with "I'm good". The right tone implies the "thank you".

Actually, Irish people don't say you're welcome as a general rule. We generally say "no bother" which is not NOT saying you're welcome, it's just an equivalent. It's no less polite, just a regional difference.  Is that what you meant?

This. There's no special magic to the words "you're welcome"--different countries and different cultures have all sorts of polite ways of acknowledging a thank-you.

Judah

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2013, 09:25:46 PM »
Cross_patch, I didn't think it wasn't polite, just amusing. The reponse wasn't always "no bother", there was a wide variety of responses. And when I mentioned it to my Irish FIL, who was travelling with us, he said he hadn't noticed.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

-The Car Talk Guys

cross_patch

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2013, 09:39:45 PM »
I agree with OP. "I'm good" instead of "No thank you" ranks right up there with "No problem" as a response to "Thanks." (I never thought it was a problem, I was just thanking you. How about "You're welcome" instead?)

Sometime around day four of our stay in Ireland I noticed that not one single person had said "You're welcome" in response to my "thank you". We started listening for it and nope, not once in two weeks did I hear "you're welcome". They had about twenty different ways of not saying it and it ended up being pretty funny.

I don't have a problem with "I'm good". The right tone implies the "thank you".

Actually, Irish people don't say you're welcome as a general rule. We generally say "no bother" which is not NOT saying you're welcome, it's just an equivalent. It's no less polite, just a regional difference.  Is that what you meant?

This. There's no special magic to the words "you're welcome"--different countries and different cultures have all sorts of polite ways of acknowledging a thank-you.

Thanks yvaine, that's it exactly. I think it was the amusing part that threw me off. I imagine your FIL wouldn't notice, because to him people were answering it in a normal manner.