Author Topic: "I'm good" again  (Read 5743 times)

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LeveeWoman

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #30 on: January 19, 2013, 10:05:47 PM »
I think it's part of a cultural/societal change. The words "thank you" might be absent but, they're implied.

I liken it to the phrase, "have a good one" that seems to be replacing "have a good day/night".


Allyson

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #31 on: January 19, 2013, 10:16:32 PM »
Yeah, I definitely don't think it's rude. It's not a phrase that I especially like, but now that I've sort of 'absorbed' it and its meaning it's not a big deal. Just one of those things that confused literal-minded me when I first started hearing it! :)

Roe

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #32 on: January 20, 2013, 12:09:51 AM »
No no no! You're clear! :)

But, gellchom, the "thanks" is (to me) so implied in it that I'm not sure it even strikes me that it's missing more often than not.

"Oh no! I'm fine!" said with a smile isn't rude when I hear it. It doesn't need the "thank you" to make it not rude. It's just as polite as the longer version.

I get your question (really I do!), but it doesn't sound rude to me.

Understand that, like a previous poster said, tone is key. Even "no thank you" can be rude in the wrong tone.

Edited to fix your name

Pod, pod, pod. This is exactly how I feel.  Thanks Dotty!

Aeris

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #33 on: January 20, 2013, 12:24:59 AM »
Despite what we teach children, there is in fact nothing magical about the words 'please', 'thank you', and 'you're welcome'. What's important is that the concepts behind those words get communicated.

Insisting on the specific words regardless of actual gratitude communicated would be just as misguided as insisting that one must be thanked on personal stationary, hand written and addressed, and that thanks offered through any other medium are insufficient.

In other words, it would be nitpicky and graceless.

CakeEater

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #34 on: January 20, 2013, 05:16:51 AM »
What does 'you're welcome' mean as a response to thank-you anyway? Welcome to what? My assistance? My belongings that I have shared with you?

Then doesn't '(It's) No problem (sharing my belongings/giving my assistance)' mean the same thing?


Yvaine

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #35 on: January 20, 2013, 08:07:54 AM »
What does 'you're welcome' mean as a response to thank-you anyway? Welcome to what? My assistance? My belongings that I have shared with you?

Then doesn't '(It's) No problem (sharing my belongings/giving my assistance)' mean the same thing?

Pretty much, yeah. Most you're-welcome type expressions seem to include some kind of minimizing of whatever favor you just did for the person who thanked you, probably to put the person at ease over whether they put you out. They say thank you and then you tell them it wasn't a big deal. You're welcome, no problem, de nada, no bother, aw shucks tweren't nothin'!  :)

Edited to add: I think that we in the US have just said "you're welcome" so many times, by rote and automatically, that we don't even think about what it actually means anymore and don't realize it basically means the same as these other phrases.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2013, 08:11:06 AM by Yvaine »

Thipu1

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #36 on: January 20, 2013, 10:46:21 AM »
That's true, Yvaine. 

Most of us have been brought up so that 'Please', 'Thank You' and 'You're Welcome' are so engrained that we just do it automatically. 

It's like the ritual word or phrase when someone sneezes. 

DottyG

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #37 on: January 20, 2013, 02:41:33 PM »
Quote
Most of us have been brought up so that 'Please', 'Thank You' and 'You're Welcome' are so engrained that we just do it automatically.

"What's the 'magic word', Little Johnny?" :)

We're taught that those words are, somehow, special ones that must be said. But we're taught that because, as another poster mentioned, kids can't distinguish nuances if other things that also work. We keep it simple for them while they're still learning.


CakeEater

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #38 on: January 20, 2013, 04:00:03 PM »
What does 'you're welcome' mean as a response to thank-you anyway? Welcome to what? My assistance? My belongings that I have shared with you?

Then doesn't '(It's) No problem (sharing my belongings/giving my assistance)' mean the same thing?

Pretty much, yeah. Most you're-welcome type expressions seem to include some kind of minimizing of whatever favor you just did for the person who thanked you, probably to put the person at ease over whether they put you out. They say thank you and then you tell them it wasn't a big deal. You're welcome, no problem, de nada, no bother, aw shucks tweren't nothin'!  :)

Edited to add: I think that we in the US have just said "you're welcome" so many times, by rote and automatically, that we don't even think about what it actually means anymore and don't realize it basically means the same as these other phrases.

That's what I meant. I don't think no problem is an inferior thing to say, because they mean the same thing. In fact, here (in Australia) you're pretty unlikely to hear 'you're welcome'. Far more common to hear 'no problem' or 'no worries', 'that's OK' or even 'no dramas'.

My niece was born in country A, moved to Australia and learned English, then moved to country C and is learning that language, but her nanny there is from country D. Nanny has been teaching her to say 'you're welcome', and she wants us to say it when they visit here, but it feels very formal to us.


rigs32

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #39 on: January 20, 2013, 04:41:05 PM »


I believe that etiquette requires "no, thanks," not just "no."  I believe no here one would be arguing about that.


Clearly we are arguing about it.  If a waitress offers me more water, my response is most likely to be " no thanks".  But if I'm on a bus and someone offers me a seat, I may just say "no".  I am not required to reply to all inquires with a full "no thank you". 

This especially occurs in situations at work where I need to exert my authority even though I am a youngish looking female.  Responding with just a "no" conveys more assertiveness, but I do not agree that it automatically makes me rude.

perpetua

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #40 on: January 20, 2013, 04:48:39 PM »


I believe that etiquette requires "no, thanks," not just "no."  I believe no here one would be arguing about that.


Clearly we are arguing about it.  If a waitress offers me more water, my response is most likely to be " no thanks".  But if I'm on a bus and someone offers me a seat, I may just say "no".  I am not required to reply to all inquires with a full "no thank you". 

I think you are. Isn't 'no thanks' a contraction of 'no, but thank you for offering' ? That's how I've always seen it.

Surely it's rude not to acknowledge someone's offer, especially in the case of the seat on the bus scenario, when someone is going out of their way to do something kind at their own expense?


Mental Magpie

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #41 on: January 20, 2013, 04:58:05 PM »


I believe that etiquette requires "no, thanks," not just "no."  I believe no here one would be arguing about that.


Clearly we are arguing about it.  If a waitress offers me more water, my response is most likely to be " no thanks".  But if I'm on a bus and someone offers me a seat, I may just say "no".  I am not required to reply to all inquires with a full "no thank you". 

I think you are. Isn't 'no thanks' a contraction of 'no, but thank you for offering' ? That's how I've always seen it.

Surely it's rude not to acknowledge someone's offer, especially in the case of the seat on the bus scenario, when someone is going out of their way to do something kind at their own expense?

I think thanks is always required to follow a "no" when something is offered, be it a drink, seat, or free trip to LaLa-Land.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

DottyG

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #42 on: January 20, 2013, 05:46:10 PM »
Not necessarily. Because "no, I'm fine!" is, as we've discussed above, ok as well - even without a "thanks" in there.

Mental Magpie

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #43 on: January 20, 2013, 05:52:19 PM »
Not necessarily. Because "no, I'm fine!" is, as we've discussed above, ok as well - even without a "thanks" in there.

Without referencing what I was quoting, you're right.  However, I was responding to the idea that no form of thanks had to follow a "no" and one was not rude to not offer a thanks (in any form) when something was offered (the bus seat).  I think it is rude to decline something and not say any form of thanks thereafter.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

DottyG

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Re: "I'm good" again
« Reply #44 on: January 20, 2013, 05:58:40 PM »
Sorry, I think I was unclear on what you meant.

I'm still not completely sure I'm clear, actually. But I didn't mean to take your words out of context.