Author Topic: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices  (Read 9756 times)

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Minmom3

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2013, 12:46:53 PM »
I think that may be the best use of Grumpy Cat I've seen to date...
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

gramma dishes

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2013, 01:10:21 PM »

...   Perhaps the things could be made even more expensive, if they were turned into musical cards that played "Nah - nah - nah - nah - nah - nah when opened.

 ;D ;D ;D

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2013, 01:22:08 PM »
I would definitely be questioning that friendship.  Like a PP said, I would just take a lack of invitation to mean I'm not invited.
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Pandora

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2013, 01:45:41 PM »
Does anyone else think this is a blatantly gimme tacktick.

"They are not invited but if I send a DSTD card, then they know when the wedding is and can send me a gift."

 There was a previous use of this concept in an entry submitted a number of years ago. The gift issue is addressed.

 Anyway, this is today's Dear Abby column. I don't know if you can use it, but if nothing else, it's a good read !

Thanks again for a fun site !

Mrs. Dorrie J.

DEAR ABBY:

Get a load of this pre-wedding announcement. It was delivered via my mailbox at work. I thought I had seen it all, but this takes the cake. With a former co-worker like this, I'm happy I didn't win their lottery. If you print this, please delete all names and addresses. I still work with friends of this couple. - HAPPY TO LOSE THE LOTTERY

DEAR HAPPY: Your enclosure is a first, and I must admit I have  never seen anything quite like it. Read on: "Dear Friends of 'Elmer' and 'Gladys': Our wedding will be a  small but poignant affair held at a log home in the woods in beautiful southern Wisconsin. Due to the physical nature of the  wedding area, there will not be enough space for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to invite. "After pondering a number of alternatives, we decided that a lottery would be the most equitable manner of dealing with the  space/disappointment problem. We have, indeed, already held
 this lottery with your name included, but alas, it is our sad duty to inform you that your name does not appear on the winners list. Nevertheless, our good wishes go out to you, and
 when our gift from you arrives at the address below, we will thank you in absentia.

"With regrets and respect, ELMER SMITH AND GLADYS JONES"

READERS: Care to comment?

Dorrie's comment : Great ! I could afford a gift of absentia...  >:D

Pandora

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2013, 01:47:24 PM »
The link no longer works.

Dear Prudence,
Recently I received two separate announcements letting me know that Iím not invited to the wedding of a friend. Both of these came out of the blue; I had not precipitated them by asking if I was going to get an invitation. Apparently, itís a trend for brides and grooms to tell people who didnít make the cut that they arenít going to witness the special day. (Google "How to tell someone you're not inviting them to your wedding.") I have no idea how to respond. It seems churlish to say that Iím relieved, but itís also awkward to admit my feelings were hurt. Please help.

óA Perplexed Nonwedding Guest

Emmy

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2013, 01:52:05 PM »
Does anyone else think this is a blatantly gimme tacktick.

"They are not invited but if I send a DSTD card, then they know when the wedding is and can send me a gift."

 There was a previous use of this concept in an entry submitted a number of years ago. The gift issue is addressed.

 Anyway, this is today's Dear Abby column. I don't know if you can use it, but if nothing else, it's a good read !

Thanks again for a fun site !

Mrs. Dorrie J.

DEAR ABBY:

Get a load of this pre-wedding announcement. It was delivered via my mailbox at work. I thought I had seen it all, but this takes the cake. With a former co-worker like this, I'm happy I didn't win their lottery. If you print this, please delete all names and addresses. I still work with friends of this couple. - HAPPY TO LOSE THE LOTTERY

DEAR HAPPY: Your enclosure is a first, and I must admit I have  never seen anything quite like it. Read on: "Dear Friends of 'Elmer' and 'Gladys': Our wedding will be a  small but poignant affair held at a log home in the woods in beautiful southern Wisconsin. Due to the physical nature of the  wedding area, there will not be enough space for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to invite. "After pondering a number of alternatives, we decided that a lottery would be the most equitable manner of dealing with the  space/disappointment problem. We have, indeed, already held
 this lottery with your name included, but alas, it is our sad duty to inform you that your name does not appear on the winners list. Nevertheless, our good wishes go out to you, and
 when our gift from you arrives at the address below, we will thank you in absentia.

"With regrets and respect, ELMER SMITH AND GLADYS JONES"

READERS: Care to comment?

Dorrie's comment : Great ! I could afford a gift of absentia...  >:D

Emmy's reply.

In light of tough economic times this country is going through, I have decided I can only afford some gifts for special occasions.  I have already preformed a lottery and I am sorry to inform you that your wedding does not appear on the winners gift and my sad duty to report I will not send you a gift.  That takes some nerve, still asking for a gift.

I would also re-evaluate a 'friendship' with somebody who sent out a 'your not invited' card.  And they wouldn't be getting a gift.

gramma dishes

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2013, 01:57:44 PM »

...   Emmy's reply.

In light of tough economic times this country is going through, I have decided I can only afford some gifts for special occasions.  I have already preformed a lottery and I am sorry to inform you that your wedding does not appear on the winners gift and my sad duty to report I will not send you a gift.  ...

LOL!  Love this!   ;D

Aquamarine

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2013, 02:46:07 PM »
Egads, the self absorbed things people do never ceases to absolutely amaze me!  By sending these cards out they are telling me that they believe all these people even wanted to be invited in the first place.  If the couple is this self absorbed in other areas of their lives I can only imagine there was a loud collective sigh of relief heard when the cards were opened.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

Jocelyn

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2013, 06:28:01 PM »
Doesn't 'poignant' carry a meaning of 'somewhat bittersweet'? So their wedding is supposed to be poignant because the guests are to be thinking about those who didn't make the cut?

I enjoyed the brief fantasy of sending the couple a notice that they weren't invited to every party I gave, henceforth...

AngelBarchild

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2013, 09:00:53 PM »
I think this would work as a reply to a card that says "You are sadly not invited to my wedding."

 ;)

I love grumpy cat way more than I should. I just want to sit with that cat and be grumpy together.  >:(

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2013, 09:44:16 PM »
Doesn't 'poignant' carry a meaning of 'somewhat bittersweet'? So their wedding is supposed to be poignant because the guests are to be thinking about those who didn't make the cut?

I enjoyed the brief fantasy of sending the couple a notice that they weren't invited to every party I gave, henceforth...

Yes, I thought that "poignant" was an odd word choice too!

nuit93

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2013, 02:33:31 AM »
I think this would work as a reply to a card that says "You are sadly not invited to my wedding."

 ;)

I love grumpy cat way more than I should. I just want to sit with that cat and be grumpy together.  >:(

Me too.  I want to sit and give that kitty pettins and scritches and talk baby talk to it.

Margo

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #27 on: January 21, 2013, 05:38:21 AM »
Wow.

I wonder whether the 'successful' guests were told they only got invited because their names were first out of the hat? I think it's almost as insulting to them as to the 'losers'.

And the blatant gift grab makes the rudeness of specifically telling people you are not inviting them even worse.

The only situations I can think of when it's acceptable to tell someone they are not invited are:
1. Where they specifically ask, and it isn't practical or effective to bean-dip
2. Where something happens meaning you can't invite someone who would originally have been invited, but now won't be, where that person had been told they were going to be invited. (and I think this depends very much on circumstances. I can think of situations when giving someone an explanation as to why you can't invite them is better than simply not inviting them, even though strict rules of etiquette may be broken)

GoTwins

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2013, 08:30:24 AM »
Does anyone else think this is a blatantly gimme tacktick.

"They are not invited but if I send a DSTD card, then they know when the wedding is and can send me a gift."
This is the first thing that popped into my mind. And, sadly, it wouldn't surprise me. I wouldn't even send a card to the "lovely" couple.

And now I have to go google "grumpy cat".   ;D

SpikeMichigan

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Re: Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices
« Reply #29 on: January 21, 2013, 09:46:50 AM »

 That's hilarious.

 You know what, I can see perhaps, if you were getting married in a tiny, tiny ceremony, having a word with some good friends and letting them know the deal, so they weren't disappointed when the invite never came.

 But a don't save the date card is just.....odd.

 I'm not sure if its relevant, but this reminds me of something my parents told me about. Years ago, there was some kind of official turkey supper in the village, wherein it was very clear cut who was invited and who was not. What eventually sprang from this was a social event called NITS (Not Invited to the Turkey Supper). It would probably be seven different shades of bad manners, but I'd be tempted to host an event for all those poor souls who had their lack of invitation thrown in their faces in this way.