Dear Prudence .... For those not invited, DSTD notices

[heartmug]

...   Emmy's reply.

In light of tough economic times this country is going through, I have decided I can only afford some gifts for special occasions.  I have already preformed a lottery and I am sorry to inform you that your wedding does not appear on the winners gift and my sad duty to report I will not send you a gift.  ...

LOL!  Love this!   

Me too!

[White Lotus]

The mind boggles!  None of mine are planning weddings yet, but I hope to goodness they never hear of anything so utterly tacky and ill-mannered.  People keep inventing "new" ways (sneeze into your sleeve -- gross!) to replace perfectly adequate conventions that already exist (handkerchiefs, tissues, sinks).  Announcements, people, announcements! 
Keep your wedding about your commitment to each other, get over the idea that your *WEDDING* is the Social Event of the Century, have a meaningful ceremony you can afford, and send proper announcements after the fact.  Not rocket science.

[Slartibartfast]

Owe Deer Lowered.

I always thought the way to have a small wedding was to, you know, plan a small wedding.  Then you can tell people you're getting married "in June" instead of a specific date, and if they ask for the date you can say "We're doing it on the 12th - my grandparents are letting us use their backyard and it's just going to be us and our parents for a tiny little ceremony.  Doesn't it sound exciting?"  So you're not saying "You're not going to be invited," but you're not implying anyone needs to save the date either.  If they're close enough to ask the date, they're close enough to get a description of the plan (read: small).

[Tea Drinker]

The mind boggles!  None of mine are planning weddings yet, but I hope to goodness they never hear of anything so utterly tacky and ill-mannered.  People keep inventing "new" ways (sneeze into your sleeve -- gross!) to replace perfectly adequate conventions that already exist (handkerchiefs, tissues, sinks). 

That's great, if the person has a clean handkerchief or tissue, or is near enough to a sink. If someone who doesn't sneezes or coughs while riding the subway, say, or at the supermarket, I'd rather they get germs on their sleeves, or on their bare elbows, than on the hands that they will then use to pick up groceries and handle money.

[Rohanna]

Sneezing into your sleeve is not new, and handkercheifs are not ideal for stopping the spread of germs.

http://news.discovery.com/human/health/cover-your-cough-120906.htm

Sneezing into your hands, or into a reusable cloth, allows germs to get onto your hands, and then from there to touch everything you come across all day. How often do you touch the inside of your elbow onto public surfaces?

[BeagleMommy]

This is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen.  It takes tacky to a whole new low.

[Yvaine]

The mind boggles!  None of mine are planning weddings yet, but I hope to goodness they never hear of anything so utterly tacky and ill-mannered.  People keep inventing "new" ways (sneeze into your sleeve -- gross!) to replace perfectly adequate conventions that already exist (handkerchiefs, tissues, sinks).  Announcements, people, announcements! 

This is a medical/epidemiological trend (hence I won't elaborate too much) rather than an etiquette one--they're sort of in separate realms.

[POF]

I think this would work as a reply to a card that says "You are sadly not invited to my wedding."

 

I love grumpy cat way more than I should. I just want to sit with that cat and be grumpy together. 

Me too ... she looks like she needs a cuddle

[Winterlight]

Owe Deer Lowered.

I always thought the way to have a small wedding was to, you know, plan a small wedding.  Then you can tell people you're getting married "in June" instead of a specific date, and if they ask for the date you can say "We're doing it on the 12th - my grandparents are letting us use their backyard and it's just going to be us and our parents for a tiny little ceremony.  Doesn't it sound exciting?"  So you're not saying "You're not going to be invited," but you're not implying anyone needs to save the date either.  If they're close enough to ask the date, they're close enough to get a description of the plan (read: small).

Exactly. That's how it's done by polite people. DSTD is both rude and arrogant- rude in telling people they aren't invited, arrogant in assuming that people are panting to go.

[Pandora]

 I also wonder ..... do you make up a list like those who get invitations? 

[Winterlight]

Maybe they make one big list of all possibles, then separate it out as Saves or Don't Saves.

[Mikayla]

Sometimes I wonder if even half of these are true.  The internet is a dangerous place, indeed!

In my real life, I just don't encounter stuff like this, nor have I heard of anyone who has. 

[Pigeon]

I clicked the link provided in Prudie's answer.  It contained other useful wedding invite info, such as "Make sure to include a date for your RSVPs."  Good save: I was going to put RSVP WYFLI (when you feel like it)!   

[jedikaiti]

Does anyone else think this is a blatantly gimme tacktick.

"They are not invited but if I send a DSTD card, then they know when the wedding is and can send me a gift."

 There was a previous use of this concept in an entry submitted a number of years ago. The gift issue is addressed.

 Anyway, this is today's Dear Abby column. I don't know if you can use it, but if nothing else, it's a good read !

Thanks again for a fun site !

Mrs. Dorrie J.

DEAR ABBY:

Get a load of this pre-wedding announcement. It was delivered via my mailbox at work. I thought I had seen it all, but this takes the cake. With a former co-worker like this, I'm happy I didn't win their lottery. If you print this, please delete all names and addresses. I still work with friends of this couple. - HAPPY TO LOSE THE LOTTERY

DEAR HAPPY: Your enclosure is a first, and I must admit I have  never seen anything quite like it. Read on: "Dear Friends of 'Elmer' and 'Gladys': Our wedding will be a  small but poignant affair held at a log home in the woods in beautiful southern Wisconsin. Due to the physical nature of the  wedding area, there will not be enough space for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to invite. "After pondering a number of alternatives, we decided that a lottery would be the most equitable manner of dealing with the  space/disappointment problem. We have, indeed, already held
 this lottery with your name included, but alas, it is our sad duty to inform you that your name does not appear on the winners list. Nevertheless, our good wishes go out to you, and
 when our gift from you arrives at the address below, we will thank you in absentia.

"With regrets and respect, ELMER SMITH AND GLADYS JONES"

READERS: Care to comment?

Dorrie's comment : Great ! I could afford a gift of absentia... 

"Oh, we never got your gift! Was it lost in the mail?"

"My gift never received an invitation - I assumed it lost the lottery as well."

[Twik]

I think this would work as a reply to a card that says "You are sadly not invited to my wedding."

 

Now I want a DNSTD just so I can reply with this.