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S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters

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The very first time that I invited my parents to dinner after I got married (toEx) when I was 21 years old.

I bought a corned beef, fixings for a potato salad (my fathers favorite, I really wanted to impress him with this) and fresh green beans. Cheese and crackers for apps, homemade apple pie for dessert (why oh why did I even attempt this? My mom makes the best apple pie in the world!)

The corned beef was sooo undercooked (I boiled it) it could have been used for a bouncey-ball.

The potato salad -- I bought the wrong potatoes (baking instead of red) which I boiled to death so the salad turned out more like mushy potato soup.

The green beans were probably the most edible thing on the table, even though they were overdone.

Apple pie? Probably maybe might have turned out okay? I put it in the oven before the meal started so that it would be hot and fresh for dessert. I forgot to set the timer. Yup. Burnt to a crisp.

My parents were extremely gracious.

Ex was extremely . . . well, let's not go there.

I never wanted to go into a kitchen again.

Do you have any kitchen disaster stories?

The first time I cooked corn on the cob, I boiled it for 2  1/2 hours.

I had to call my mom to ask how to hard boiled eggs. (Swear this is true!! I didn't know if you started with cold water, or boiled the water and then put the eggs in)

And the time of the tuna on the ceiling......and the grape juice on the ceiling.......

gramma dishes:
One of my first meals for my husband was an Italian dish.  I'm not Italian.  I had never cooked with certain specific ingredients before.

Recipe called for a minced clove of garlic.  I didn't know what a clove of garlic was, so I dutifully minced what I had (which took FOREVER!!) and confidently added it to the dish.

Now I know the difference between a garlic clove and a garlic bulb.   :-[

Oh, boy.  Where do I start. I'm a reasonably decent cook.  One of the ways one becomes a good cook is to experiment and actually try to expand your horizons. Of course things will go wrong from time to time.  Actually, I recently consoled a 20 year old woman when she had an Alfredo disaster, telling her a few of my kitchen horror stories. Ruining a few meals is part of learning how to cook.

So here are a few of my favorites...

I once blew up a pyrex pan while baking chicken.  And by "blow up" I mean 10 thousand little pieces that also managed to break the glass window in the oven.

While cooking fried potatoes, I got the oil too hot and didn't dry the potatoes enough.  This is a bad combination.  I wound up with third degree burns on my left hand from the splattering oil.

While attempting to prepare a white gravy, I accidentally mixed up the corn starch and the flour.  Glue, anyone?

I once had a roommate who decided to make stuffed eggplant.  Instead of olive oil, or even just a plain cooking oil, she scooped out the flesh, and sauteed it in toasted sesame seed oil.  It has been my experience that eggplant acts like a sponge, and boy did it that day.  She used an entire bottle of sesame seed oil (2 cups or so).  The end result was ghastly.  All you could taste was the sesame seem oil, and at that level of concentration, it was more like crankcase oil.

A lot of expensive ingredients (well, for us, we were broke college students), and it was some kind of sludge scooped out of a diesel engine.


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