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Author Topic: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters  (Read 147786 times)

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Snooks

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #180 on: February 05, 2013, 03:09:16 PM »
The only time I've had a pyrex bowl break it split clean down the middle, we think it was caused by vibrations on the worktop.  My mum and I just stared at it in shock, thankfully it was empty.

Giggity

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #181 on: February 05, 2013, 03:43:13 PM »
I made bacon jam Friday afternoon. YAY! I doubled Martha Stewart's recipe, so I fried up three pounds of bacon. You're supposed to pour off all but a tablespoon of bacon grease. I grabbed the closest container ... flimsy Tupperware. It doesn't hold molten bacon grease as well as you'd think. The entire bottom melted out and yeah, bacon grease down the side of the cabinet.

 ???  I must confess that I've never heard of bacon jam.  How is it used?

In and on everything! It's good on eggs, burgers, grilled-cheese sandwiches ... a dollop in your soup ... heck, I figure that's why God created all the spoons in my silverware drawer.
Words mean things.

Carotte

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #182 on: February 05, 2013, 06:06:32 PM »
Not really a cooking disaster, more like a post cooking.. I had tried to make deep fried donuts (they weren't great) to take to a party. went to the party, forgot to turn off the fire under the oil. No one was home, fortunately nothing happened, but since then we have a fire extinguisher at home :).

(That might be why now, when I leave my SO's apartment (he leaves before me) I'm always deeply afraid I've left a burner on and have him come back to a burned up building. I need to start double checking before leaving or I'll end up too afraid to even use it to boil water.)

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #183 on: February 05, 2013, 06:20:53 PM »
I made squash soup.  It had finished cooking and the last step was to puree it.  It was getting close to my bedtime so I decided to go ahead and do it in batches in my blender.

Except it was too hot.  The first batch squirted out a little so the next batch, I didn't put as much in.  It EXPLODED - all over my face and chest.  I quickly took off my shirt.  Thank goodness I was wearing my glasses because I ended up with burns on my forehead.  Without glasses, I'd have had burns on my eyelid, if not my cornea.

I still make the soup; I still blend it.  I use the hand blender first, let it cool quite a bit then put it in the blender.  The hand blender leaves it too chunky, for my taste.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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lady_disdain

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #184 on: February 05, 2013, 06:23:29 PM »
Since we are talking about sisters...

My sister was not a cook when she moved out on her own. Her routine was to stop by the supermarket, pick up frozen lasagna, put it in the microwave for 25 minutes, shower while it cooked, eat a hot meal.

One day, instead of frozen lasagna, she decided to pick up some kind of savory pie. Instead of reading the instructions, she just went on with her script: put it in the microwave, shower for 20 minutes, come out to find the apartment filled with black smoke, the microwave turntable cracked from the heat and a lump of charred pastry.

The pie only required 3 minutes, since it wasn't frozen. She has yet to live that one down.

mmswm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #185 on: February 05, 2013, 06:37:55 PM »
Pre-Disaster:  My 13yo, the same one who blew up the well pump yesterday, is attempting to make brownies on his own.  Stay tuned for a future disaster story!
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

jpcher

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #186 on: February 05, 2013, 06:43:28 PM »
Pre-Disaster:  My 13yo, the same one who blew up the well pump yesterday, is attempting to make brownies on his own.  Stay tuned for a future disaster story!

Have Faith! ;D

and gently let him know that disasters are a good learning experience!

Who knows, maybe he's better suited for the kitchen environment. ;D

(waiting for updates!)
« Last Edit: February 05, 2013, 06:48:06 PM by jpcher »

mmswm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #187 on: February 05, 2013, 06:57:17 PM »
Pre-Disaster:  My 13yo, the same one who blew up the well pump yesterday, is attempting to make brownies on his own.  Stay tuned for a future disaster story!

Have Faith! ;D

and gently let him know that disasters are a good learning experience!

Who knows, maybe he's better suited for the kitchen environment. ;D

(waiting for updates!)

Son: Mom, why doesn't this look like it does when you do it?
Me: (looking at the box)  Because you're making chocolate cake, not brownies.

I keep the box stuff on hand for exactly this reason.  It gives the kids some experience with doing stuff on their own, but without the total disaster potential of doing everything completely from scratch.  First rule of baking: read the box/recipe. At least he got the mix put together reasonably well.

I guess we're having cake for dessert.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Luci

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #188 on: February 05, 2013, 07:18:41 PM »
If our nephew tried anything, his wife automatically dialed 91--as a precaution.

Jones

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #189 on: February 05, 2013, 07:30:56 PM »
Pre-Disaster:  My 13yo, the same one who blew up the well pump yesterday, is attempting to make brownies on his own.  Stay tuned for a future disaster story!

Have Faith! ;D

and gently let him know that disasters are a good learning experience!

Who knows, maybe he's better suited for the kitchen environment. ;D

(waiting for updates!)

Son: Mom, why doesn't this look like it does when you do it?
Me: (looking at the box)  Because you're making chocolate cake, not brownies.

I keep the box stuff on hand for exactly this reason.  It gives the kids some experience with doing stuff on their own, but without the total disaster potential of doing everything completely from scratch.  First rule of baking: read the box/recipe. At least he got the mix put together reasonably well.

I guess we're having cake for dessert.
Heh, my sister was about 14 when she decided to make a casserole for dinner. Pasta, cream soup, tuna fish and cheese; simple. Well, she mixed in the soup with the pasta before pouring off the water. When asked why she hadn't poured off the water, she blankly said "You don't pour it off in Hamburger Helper..."

Yes, her only dinner cooking experience to that point had been HH and similar, and somehow we hadn't mentioned "pouring off water" before that point in time.
A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems. CS Lewis

mmswm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #190 on: February 05, 2013, 07:34:46 PM »
Pre-Disaster:  My 13yo, the same one who blew up the well pump yesterday, is attempting to make brownies on his own.  Stay tuned for a future disaster story!

Have Faith! ;D

and gently let him know that disasters are a good learning experience!

Who knows, maybe he's better suited for the kitchen environment. ;D

(waiting for updates!)

Son: Mom, why doesn't this look like it does when you do it?
Me: (looking at the box)  Because you're making chocolate cake, not brownies.

I keep the box stuff on hand for exactly this reason.  It gives the kids some experience with doing stuff on their own, but without the total disaster potential of doing everything completely from scratch.  First rule of baking: read the box/recipe. At least he got the mix put together reasonably well.

I guess we're having cake for dessert.
Heh, my sister was about 14 when she decided to make a casserole for dinner. Pasta, cream soup, tuna fish and cheese; simple. Well, she mixed in the soup with the pasta before pouring off the water. When asked why she hadn't poured off the water, she blankly said "You don't pour it off in Hamburger Helper..."

Yes, her only dinner cooking experience to that point had been HH and similar, and somehow we hadn't mentioned "pouring off water" before that point in time.

Oh, dear.  Fortunately, I have my act together enough to have had them help me cook "real" food.  My 10 year old is my baker though.  He can do a cheesecake with almost no supervision, though due to the weakness in his wrist,  he does require some assistance in pouring batter into the springform pan and getting it in and out of the oven. The cake, so far, as turned out okay, but now I need to go provide some assistance in turning it out of the pan.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

guihong

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #191 on: February 05, 2013, 07:49:50 PM »
I just had an embarrassment, though thankfully I didn't make a mess or waste food  :-[.

The other day, I bought a new manual can opener advertised as "easy on hands and easy opening".  Tonight, when I tried to open a can of green beans, I nearly took my hand off and mangled much of the lid.  I complained to DH about the "carp" can opener, and why can't advertising be truthful, etc. etc.

DH looked the can opener over, and then said, " Gui, you were holding the opener upside down"  ::).



mmswm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #192 on: February 05, 2013, 08:18:10 PM »
Mini-Disaster.  DS has never attempted to turn a cake out of a pan.  It didn't go well.  I had the foresight to have him do it over a large sheet cake pan, so any mess would be at least partially contained.  This was good planning on my part, as when he turned the pan over, his bottom and slipped and he dropped the cake pan and the cooling rack.  We wound up with a bunch of crumbled cake bits.  Not willing to admit defeat, he made some instant chocolate pudding and served the cake bits with the pudding.  I'd say the whole thing was a success.  We got a tasty dessert out of it, even if we had to go to Plan C to get it. :)
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Amara

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #193 on: February 05, 2013, 09:15:26 PM »
(Very) sharp knife. Onions. Thumb.

Last week, I was chopping onions when *sliccccce* I somehow get the edge of my left thumb in the way and ... suddenly there is blood everywhere. It was pouring out so fast I had to hold my thumb tightly against the bar soap I keep on the sink because I couldn't let go long enough to get to anything else. I turned the water on intending to wash it then cover it with a clean paper towel until I could get to the bathroom, but the flow was so heavy I couldn't lift my thumb off the soap. Eventually, I did wash it, sort of, then had to struggle to open the cabinet where the paper towels were and tear them off. It took three of them so fast did they get stained.

I went to the bathroom and washed it again. But I couldn't leave the thumb alone long enough to get out a bandage without having blood everywhere. So I heaved a sigh, grabbed a pillowcase within reach and wrapped that around it while I attempted, with one good hand to get the band-aid open. It wasn't easy but I did.

Ultimately, it took those three paper towels, one after the other, one pillowcase (tossed later), and three band-aids, one after the other, before the bleeding slowed to a crawl. The next day I was able to see that I had apparently sliced down around six layers of skin. The wound is not large but it is deep--and unbelievably painful even a week later. In fact, yesterday I thought that if it didn't feel better today, though it looks like it is healing nicely, that I would go to my doctor. But it does feel better even if when I hit the wound against something like the topside of a can, I shriek. Better than last week's screaming in the market when I hit it against a shelf corner, though.

The onions were a total loss.

Kaora

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #194 on: February 05, 2013, 10:33:26 PM »
Confession time: I once shattered a Pyrex glass measuring cup by idiocy.

I thought, for some dumb reason, I remembered reading about being able to heat up a Pyrex cup, and wanted to boil water in it.

Double Stupid: I forget some basic thermodynamics and took the measuring cup right off the stove burner I had it on.  I was having an extra special day.

Thermal shock set in quick and it shattered in my hand.  I do NOT know how I escaped getting hit by flying shards, but I was scared good.  After the shock, I saw some of the shards were the size of my palm, and they went right by me.

I have no idea, but I thank whoever is watching me it didn't.

This one is gross out: I was also washing dishes in Home Ec class, and heard a crack in the water.  I took my finger out of the water and looked at the new slice bleeding out like "Ooh, that's nifty, how did that happen."

Teacher noticed fairly quickly, told me and my sliced tip of finger to get to the nurse's office.  I ended up with a bandaid on it for a month, and retrained myself to type with nine fingers.  I still don't type with the injured one.


My sister and I once participated in making cookies.  We thought to use parchment paper for them.  We forgot one essential detail, as we started smelling smoke and this burning smell.  Did we mention the cookies baked at 450 F?  Luckily, they were pretty much done, so the cookies were good, but there's a book called Fahrenheit 451 for a reason. :P

I've also done the run of the mill stupid stuff (boxed pasta, and putting in 2 1/2 cups of water versus a 1/2 cup of water, accidentally putting in a TBSP extra of Crisco (those were some unique tasting cookies), and managed to crisp an easy donut recipe that both my mum and my sister can do.  They're supposed to be soft and fluffy; mine were hard.  Exact same recipe, too.

However, I CAN cook.  When I get it right.  I improved a spaghetti sauce recipe when cooking dinner for my family, and it ended up being the best sauce we ever ate.  You just don't let me bake. :)
« Last Edit: February 05, 2013, 10:52:45 PM by Kaora »