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Author Topic: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters  (Read 128208 times)

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Frog24

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #375 on: December 19, 2014, 12:39:22 PM »
As a child, a "friend" of mine ;) was instructed by her older sister to make a menorah out of a Styrofoam plate.  The holes were poked, the candles inserted and lit, and then the "friend" went to bed.  Her sister went into the other room to watch tv.  Well, you have to let the candles burn all the way down... you can't blow them out, right? 

In the morning, the "friend" came down to a very angry mother, and a kitchen completely full of tiny floating black particles.  I guess when  the candles burnt down, they melted the Styrofoam and the melted bits became air born.  Mom was most upset that when some of the particles landed, they did so in a giant, freshly made pot of broth that was left uncovered to cool.  "Friend" *ahem* had to scrub the entire kitchen top to bottom to get all the particles out. 

sylviatexas

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #376 on: December 19, 2014, 01:40:46 PM »
An older couple in the neighborhood told this story about their first house:

In the mid-nineteen-fifties, they used the husband's "GI Bill" (VA entitlement) to buy a brick house with a garage & central air conditioning & a dishwasher.

Then they moved in & went "uh-oh. What have we done?"

How were they going to make those $72 a month payments??

Somebody threw them a housewarming, serving punch in styrofoam cups.
 
After everyone went home, the happy couple cleaned up the house.

They decided that, money being tight & all, they'd re-use the styrofoam cups, so they put them in the dishwasher, turned it on, & went to bed.

Next morning, the dishwasher was full of styrofoam bits.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #377 on: December 20, 2014, 10:26:11 AM »
I had sausage links in a pan on the stove and went to shake them. Suddenly, sparks flew in all directions. I went downstairs to get DH, who is the electrical guru for our family. He came back and immediately set about repeating my experiment with lots of sparks. I get a new burner and a new receptacle for Christmas.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

apoptosis

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #378 on: December 24, 2014, 10:31:37 PM »
When I was in college, I was sort of proud of cooking nice dinners on my $10/week.

I decided to make a nice cake, as I used to make cakes as a kid. I made it, only to see some strange lava pit bubbling in the pan.  Well, I was stubborn, so I made it again. and again. and again.

I finally had the kitchen filled with little bubbling lava pots to the extreme mirth of my roommates and their girlfriends. Finally one of the girls kindly explained to me I was using self-rising flour, of which I had never heard.


part 2
As a newlywed, the next door neighbor guy and I sort of got into a cooking contest, one week-end at his place, one week-end at mine.
We were at my house for my cooking and everything was going well.
I decided to show off for the group as I waited to add the tomatoes, and show off my juggling skills with the tomatoes.  I forgot....the ceiling fan was on.   The horror.

greencat

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #379 on: December 24, 2014, 10:38:13 PM »
When I was in college, I was sort of proud of cooking nice dinners on my $10/week.

I decided to make a nice cake, as I used to make cakes as a kid. I made it, only to see some strange lava pit bubbling in the pan.  Well, I was stubborn, so I made it again. and again. and again.

I finally had the kitchen filled with little bubbling lava pots to the extreme mirth of my roommates and their girlfriends. Finally one of the girls kindly explained to me I was using self-rising flour, of which I had never heard.


part 2
As a newlywed, the next door neighbor guy and I sort of got into a cooking contest, one week-end at his place, one week-end at mine.
We were at my house for my cooking and everything was going well.
I decided to show off for the group as I waited to add the tomatoes, and show off my juggling skills with the tomatoes.  I forgot....the ceiling fan was on.   The horror.

Tomato is harder to get off the walls than blood!  /don'task.

apoptosis

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #380 on: December 24, 2014, 10:51:03 PM »

[/quote]

Tomato is harder to get off the walls than blood!  /don'task.
[/quote]

<EG>  asking

Minmom3

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #381 on: December 24, 2014, 11:07:49 PM »
Heck with asking!  I'm BEGGING! 

[and laughing my socks off...]  I can just imagine the look of 'OH NO! )*^$&^&_(&(*&$&*&_() as the tomatoes went up in the air and connected with the blades of the fan..  Oh, golly.  I'd be laughing so hard I was crying, possibly alternating crying and laughing.

I FEEL your PAIN!
Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma.  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

mmswm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #382 on: December 25, 2014, 12:42:05 AM »
Oranges aren't any better, for the record.  Though in my case it was my children attempting to use the ceiling fan as a weird sort of baseball bat.  And oranges weren't the only thing being thrown in the air.  There's a reason my uncle was banned from babysitting...
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Jloreli

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #383 on: December 25, 2014, 08:29:26 AM »
On the subject of tomatoes on the walls....

A commercial kitchen disaster. In college I worked in the kitchen of a farmer's market and deli. Pretty upscale slow/local food place actually. All summer long we featured gazpacho which was super popular. So popular we made it in 5 gallon batches and stored it in 5 gallon food safe buckets with lids. A coworker made a lovely batch and was carrying it to the walk-in cooler....without the lid. *Dundundun* Some how disaster struck! I don't know if she slipped her footing a little, banged the bucket into a fixture, who knows what. I *do* know that if you drop a 5 gallon, lidless, bucket of gazpacho less than 18 inches to the floor the impact will result in a geyser of soup that will coat the entire kitchen. All of it.....every corner! We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. And still for weeks we would find gazpacho hidden in places we thought we had gotten to. The white walls took on a rosey hue.

The following summer we remodeled and found still *more* stealth gazpacho! I promise you this was a very clean kitchen, we frequently got perfect marks on health inspections! Gazpacho is the devil....the yummy yummy devil.


Today's possible disaster: I suspect I may have bought a roast for Christmas dinner that is too small.  >:( I'm cooking extra sides, slicing the meat thin and hoping for the best. No one will be hungry but it isn't as lavish as I like my holiday meals to be! :(

nayberry

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #384 on: December 25, 2014, 12:10:48 PM »
hub's is throwing dirty looks my way as i laugh at this thread! 

i can't make soft boiled eggs, or quick birds custard,  i can make you a four course meal, but just can't get those two right. 

we had a mini disaster today, the yorkshires burnt in a looooow oven in the 5 minutes it took to eat our starters,  but at least it was just them.


on a dif forum i frequent, there is a similar thread, now this is the warning, do NOT read when eating, drinking, holding a pet or child, or when someone could be scared awake by your laughter!   (disclaimer also stands for the "veet for men" & the "5kg gummy bear pack" reviews on amazon)
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=290130
baby berry arrived june 2016

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #385 on: December 25, 2014, 01:33:39 PM »
I had a mini disaster the other night...I choked it down, but man.

I was making sloppy Joes (a hot sandwich made with loose ground meat, if anyone's never heard of them) and I was using ground chicken.  It was browning away in the pan and everything was going fine so I started to season the meat.  I grabbed the jar of garlic powder, took the lid off, fumbled the lid and dropped the whole jar into the pan.

I quickly grabbed it out but about quadruple the amount I would normally put in had already spilled out and there wasn't much I could do.  There also wasn't really any other meat in the house that wasn't frozen solid and i really hate wasting food so I compensated for it as best I could, but I don't doubt I had horrendous dragon breath after eating it.
"After all this time?"
"Always."

Sirius

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #386 on: December 25, 2014, 02:15:14 PM »
On Christmas Eve I was mixing up a spice cake.  Now, Mr. Sirius and I aren't egg eaters, so when I bake I use the pasteurized egg substitute in cartons.  Well, as I poured the egg substitute into a measuring cup I noticed there were pieces of red and green pepper and onions in it.  I then read the label - it was the southwestern omelet version.  So, since I didn't have any more egg substitute that was plain I poured some through a strainer.  The cake tastes fine, but we laughed while we were eating it.

sylviatexas

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #387 on: December 26, 2014, 07:08:56 AM »
An old schoolmate's mother told me this story:

"Les (her career military husband) & I had just gotten married & moved into base housing.

"I never had cooked a thing in my whole life, but I was all starry-eyed & was determined to be the perfect little wife, so I told him to wake me up on his first day back at work & I'd make him breakfast.

"Somehow I didn't realize just how early 5 AM was, & I was very sleepy when he got up, but I put on my new honeymoon peignoir & floated down to the kitchen to make pancakes.

"The silly things just wouldn't work right.

"By the time Les came downstairs, I had half a dozen pancakes in the trash & another one turning black in the pan, & there was smoke everywhere.

"Les *chuckled* & said, 'the perils of the newlywed wife' & turned to go out the door.

"& I picked that pancake up with the egg turner & flipped it at him.

"It stuck to the back of his neck."

They did get past this;
by the time I knew them, they'd been married for many years & had 5 children!

 

DragonKitty

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #388 on: December 26, 2014, 02:01:33 PM »
We have a voracious kitty.  I have dubbed her "The Stomach" because this cat lives to eat.  Walk away for ten seconds and she will be on food.  She will eat *through* plastic to eat bread.  Freaking bread.
Was she a rescued stray?  We adopted a bag-of-bones cat that DD2 found in a supermarket parking lot, and he would also gnaw through plastic bags to get to the food inside, even if it wasn't something cats normally eat.  I can't count how many potatoes or bananas had fang marks.  I figure that during his stray time, he ate anything that held still long enough.

That's the part that drives me completely nuts.  Not only was she never a stray, she was born in this house!  She's been our cat the entire time (a decade now), you'd think she'd get that we've never missed a single feeding.

Meanwhile, our other cat *is* a former stray, and she flat out won't eat anything *other* than cat food.  We can set a plat down right next to her (when we snack in bed) and she will walk past the food to climb in our laps.

Castor & Pollux used to do this when I would go out of town and have a catsitter come in. I figured they were protesting the lack of full-time live-in care.

We used to have a cat that would tear open the bag on the bread to eat it.  Did not know that was happening, until we caught her at it, until then we were worried about mice and having them getting up on the table.
   

DragonKitty

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #389 on: December 26, 2014, 02:34:55 PM »
My MIL and I bonded over cooking disasters, when my now DH (then boyfriend) dumped me on her, and ran off on some errand.

She and I had both done the  "the lid falls off on the spice jar, and we just stirred it in", her's was oregano, mine was rosemary.  (FIL and DH still tease her about it).

I also had misred the recipe on my mon's cake from scratch, thought the 1 tsp was 1tbsp of salt.  Having 3 times as much salt in a cake mixture makes it taste really weird.

Then the time I tried making 'jello cake', where I learned later that you make the cake, and then pour spoonfuls of the jello mixture down holes poked in the cake.  What I did was try to fold in the jello mixture into the raw dough, and then bake the cake.  It came out of the oven about 1/2 to 3/4 if an inch high.  Ir tasted good, but boy was that a small cake.

Then there was putting rolls to heat up in the microwave on a plate from my mom's special china - - that had gold leaf as decoration on the dishes.  Dove for the door-open switch as soon as the sparks started.

Tried cooking eggs in the microwave (not in the shell!), and the outside edge of the egg blew up while the middle was still raw.  It is far easier to fry them on the stove.

Which led to my cooking eggs for breakfast before heading to church.  It is a good thing that my DH did not go that morning, because I forgot to turn off the burner, and merrily went to church.  He came out when the burning smell reached him in the bedroom.  Boy did I get a talking to when  I got back (justly deserved).

That is all I'm remembering right now.