Author Topic: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters  (Read 35222 times)

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Minmom3

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #150 on: January 29, 2013, 10:00:31 PM »
"Lots of nutmeg" means different things to different people. Specifically it means a lot less nutmeg to a German lady born in the twenties than a Brit born in the seventies. It certainly doesn't mean a whole grated nutmeg...

It might if you're making a batch of snickerdoodles...  My recipe has a nutmeg, freshly grated, in each batch.  The baking process, and the rest of the cookie ingredients tone it down considerably, so it's there in the cookie, but it's not in your face raw. 
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

norrina

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #151 on: January 29, 2013, 10:10:31 PM »
This is not my own kitchen disaster, but that of my ex's then-20-year-old son. On this particular day, ex had gone out of town for a few days, and I had left for work at 8:00am. I had originally planned to go directly from work to an activity, but some little voice in my head told me to go home first. So I went home, at about 6:00pm, and as soon as I opened the front door I was greeted by a cloud of black, oily smoke. I ran for the kitchen, to find a pan of what appeared to be charcoal briquets on the still-on burner. The briquets had originally been pork neck bones.

This was a small house. From the kitchen to the guest bedroom was less than a dozen steps. I had started hollering ex's son's name as soon as I opened the front door, and when I yanked open the door to the guest room after grabbing the pan off the stove and turning it off, still shouting, he was dead asleep. In a supremely non-etiquette-approved moment of rage, I upended the pork neck bone briquets and ash over him, screaming in rabid fury, and he finally blinked at me blearily before rolling over and going back to sleep. The smoke detector between the kitchen and the guest room was silent, despite having worked when I tested it only a few weeks prior, so I suspect it burnt out its battery trying to wake him up.

The $100 pan that he had "cooked" the neck bones in was a lost cause, and I finally got the kitchen renovations that were years overdue, since we were most likely going to have to repaint anyhow to get rid of the oily smoke residue. I couldn't sleep in the house for 2 days; it smelled like there had been a house fire, and I feel very lucky that there wasn't one.



lady_disdain

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #152 on: January 29, 2013, 10:19:36 PM »
While nowhere near as dramatic as the previous posts, here is my own piece of kitchen advice.

If a recipe says that a sauce, dressing or marinade needs to rest for 24hrs in the fridge for the flavours to blend, don't try to balance the spiciness before that, specially if said recipe contains dried peppers or mustard powder. You see, those are some of the flavours you are waiting to develop. So, the sauce will taste disappointingly bland after you finish mixing it up. So you add more pepper flakes or mustard and it is still bland. Resigned, you put it away until some innocent soul tastes it the next day, with a triple batch of pepper. Said person will curse you (but the dressing was delicious, in my opinion, and no one else could steal my salad because of the heat as a bonus).

Amara

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #153 on: January 29, 2013, 10:30:01 PM »
lady_disdain, you reminded me ...

I once made a wonderful stir fry dish for dinner guests. What I had somehow forgotten was how few people can eat a habanero chili even though, I swear, I cut it up into the tiniest pieces and only used one in a dish for eight people.

I nearly killed my guests. 

NyaChan

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #154 on: January 30, 2013, 01:32:24 AM »
Yeah, I used one in a dish with 20 servings and it actually was still spicy, so I'm not surprised a whole habanero pepper killed 8 people :)

amylouky

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #155 on: January 30, 2013, 05:13:58 PM »
At least your Shepherd's Pie was done with the typical ingredients.  What I grew up calling "Shepherd's Pie" is better described as layered turkey casserole (turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes, usually Thanksgiving leftovers).  I have no idea why my family called it that - we're all Americans - but it would have come as a big surprise to any UK folks.

I actually made that with our t-day leftovers this year.. it was yummy!
But I do like traditional Shepherd's Pie, too, as long as the mashed potatoes aren't runny.

The best (worst?) kitchen disaster I've witnessed involved my cousin (who was my room mate at the time) trying to make macaroni and cheese. Now.. he was NOT a cook by any definition of the word. His idea of cooking chicken was to stick a breast on a plate and microwave until it wasn't pink any more, then drown it in barbecue sauce.

Anyway, he decided to make a huge pot of mac and cheese one night, like 3 boxes of Kraft dinner. He used a dutch oven for this.. boiled all the macaroni, took it to the sink to drain, turned around to put it back on the stove and.. the handle broke. The entire pot of macaroni fell, and macaroni went everywhere. Did you know that freshly cooked noodles are VERY slippery?

I was in the other room, I just heard a big CRASH! followed by a THUMP! followed by a stream of profanity. I ran into the kitchen to find cousin just sitting on the floor surrounded by (and somehow covered in?) macaroni, looking utterly dejected.


Thipu1

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #156 on: January 31, 2013, 09:01:49 AM »
Yeah, I used one in a dish with 20 servings and it actually was still spicy, so I'm not surprised a whole habanero pepper killed 8 people :)

Oh yes, there's a fun story about habanero peppers in a book written by a native of India who didn't like spicy food until he went to University in England. 

The first time he tried a habanero, he mentioned that he experienced a certain deafness.  His companion explained that this was a proof of the existence of God.  The deafness mercifully made sure you wouldn't hear yourself scream. 

MayHug

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #157 on: January 31, 2013, 10:08:15 AM »
I was a very young bride. My mom was a great cook, but she never really taught us five girls. She was the care-taker for her younger siblings from the time she was 11, and felt she missed out on her childhood. She didn't want us to be the same.

The first meal I cooked after I was married, was fried chicken. I remembered seeing my mom do it and thought I could handle it. I floured it, got the grease hot, fried it to a golden brown. It looked great. My new husband took one bite of it and it was frozen on the inside! Uhmm, ya,I didn't realize you had to let it thaw first! Bless his heart he tried to eat it, but I wouldn't let him!

Another time, I was going to bake sugar cookies. I thought the butter smelled a little off, but used it anyway. Well it was off, because it was garlic butter! My husband had put garlic salt in the butter for his garlic toast. ( it was in the original container and not labeled)

Fortunately for both of us, I've gotten to be a pretty good cook in the last 34 yrs! And our daughter was always in the kitchen with me and learned to cook fairly well too. I'm sure her husband is grateful!

White Dragon

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #158 on: January 31, 2013, 03:12:19 PM »
This wasn't quite a disaster, but it was really funny!
DragonSon is 16 and a very capable cook. He didn't have school yesterday, and being the only person home, he was asked to make dinner. (That's usual for our household - if you're off work/school, you cook dinner for those that are out all day.)

This was yesterday.
When I left for work, Son was in the freezer, getting out some meat for dinner.
Fast forward to 5 pm. I call home and have the following conversation:

Me: "Hi Son. I was just wondering what was going on with dinner. Dad is going to be running a little late. Is dinner something you can slow down?"

Son "Well....."

Me: "Well...what?"

Son: "Well, I took something out for dinner, right?"

Me: "Yes, I know. And?"

Son" "Well, I read what was printed on the package and thought it was a typo, so I took it out."

Me: "And???"

Son: "Well, I thought it was pork chops, but it turned out be pork hocks  :o...so...we're having spaghetti...."  ;D

I laughed. Dinner was still good.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #159 on: January 31, 2013, 06:02:57 PM »
Flexibility is a wonderful thing!

DH is the most wonderful, patient and kind husband ever.

About 10 years ago, DH and I discussed filling a spray bottle with canola oil, so we could use that for baking and cooking instead of buying the commercial cooking oil spray.

Soon after that discussion, I was baking DH his favorite chocolate Bundt cake, and found the spray bottle of what appeared to be oil. I used it, made the batter and baked the cake. When DH got home, he had a slice of cake and mentioned an off flavor. I used degreaser to spray the pan. I nearly poisoned my husband!  :-[


jpcher

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #160 on: January 31, 2013, 06:19:36 PM »
Flexibility is a wonderful thing!

DH is the most wonderful, patient and kind husband ever.

About 10 years ago, DH and I discussed filling a spray bottle with canola oil, so we could use that for baking and cooking instead of buying the commercial cooking oil spray.

Soon after that discussion, I was baking DH his favorite chocolate Bundt cake, and found the spray bottle of what appeared to be oil. I used it, made the batter and baked the cake. When DH got home, he had a slice of cake and mentioned an off flavor. I used degreaser to spray the pan. I nearly poisoned my husband!  :-[

Yikes! I'm glad DH was okay!

The bold above reminded me of a minor disaster. Years ago my mother gave me an oil spray mister (similar to this: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=11318517) which I really loved using . . . you might want to consider something like this (. . . and label it ;))

"Disaster" struck when I came home with a fresh bottle of olive oil to refill the mister and couldn't find it anywhere.

LDH threw it away because it was empty. ::)

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #161 on: January 31, 2013, 06:36:09 PM »
I have two Mistos now. One for canola and one for extra virgin olive oil.

amandaelizabeth

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #162 on: January 31, 2013, 07:30:14 PM »
Our family really enjoy getting together and celebrating Christmas.  The fact that our celebrations are accident prone is not a problem, as the accidents are celebrated in later years after recovering from the present disaster.  The accidents were usually caused by my father's wish that we were all having a good time and being well looked after.

There are two major things that made this the Christmas Accident of the Century.  The first is that as we live in the southern hemisphere our Christmas Days are in the middle of summer, so in our family we traditionally have a cold buffet for our celebratory meal after the Great Turkey Debacle.   The second is that my parents had moved onto the shore and their water supply was either rainwater or drawn from a borehole.  This meant it had to be filtered to make it potable.

So on Christmas morning the extended family all arrive ( about 30 of us all up) and we are drinking tea and admiring what Father Christmas brought us in our stockings, when my father called my eldest brother into the kitchen.  As the buffet was all set out on the kitchen table and benches, we thought they were going to add the final touches. 

A short while later there was a high pitched shriek and then some obscured mumbling and then some yelling.  My brother called for his wife, who disappeared into the kitchen, came back a short while later and then went back in with an arm load of bath towels.  More silence and then my SIL reappeared and asked my other brother to go and see if he could help.

A few minutes he rushed back through the room and out the front door and down the driving shouting some very uncomplimentary things about my father intelligence.  We folowed gingerly after him, and arrived in time to see turn and run  into the back garden.  By this time the neighbours we gathering too.  The next thing we knew was there was a fountain coming from the bore hole pump and my brother was soaked through.  The other brother then emerged from the kitchen, also soaked though.  'thank the deity he turned the water off' was his cryptic remark.  My mother cut the water off at the borehole and we all went back into the house through the back door.  At least we tried to, but the kitchen was awash with water.

When we were back inside my brothers took turns to explain that Dad had tried to change the water filter.  He thought he had turned the water off, but didn't.  So brother took out the filter and got soaked and the kitchen was soaked through . My  other brother had broken the pipe between the borehole and pump in his panic and the pressure was enough to keep the water coming.


Christmas lunch was bobbing gaily in flooded kitchen, nothing we could find was salvageable.  The only thing we could do, was put it into the dustbin.  As there was no water, we packed up our things and went to the nearest relatives house and ate what was in her deep freeze.

My mother was incoherent  with rage  (well we were all a bit miffed) but eventually she managed to ask Dad why he had decided to change the filter on Christmas day.  He explained that the filter lasted a year, and that if he changed it on Christmas Day, he would be sure to remember to change it in a years time. 

The following year Mother decided we would have a barbecue instead, but we ended up with oven chips and fish fingers after Dad blew up the barbecue but that is another story altogether

snowfire

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #163 on: January 31, 2013, 10:39:39 PM »
The following year Mother decided we would have a barbecue instead, but we ended up with oven chips and fish fingers after Dad blew up the barbecue but that is another story altogether

You do realize that after that comment you just have to share the story, don't you? ;D

After a few holidays like that, I think the appropriate answer to "What shall we do for holiday dinner?" is "Make Reservations."
« Last Edit: February 01, 2013, 10:42:06 AM by snowfire »

andi

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #164 on: January 31, 2013, 10:53:48 PM »
Quote from: White Dragon link=topic=124391.msg2876099#msg2876099

Anyone know how to get hollandaise sauce out of carpet??  ???

So....follow up...

DH broke down and bought a carpet cleaner (big house, pets, kids...cheaper in the long run.)
He scrubbed the stains.
He pre-teated the stains.
Moved the furniture so he could clean the carpet. Found more stains.
Lather, rinse and repeat. 
I put a different cleaner down.
I scrubbed the stains.
I soaked the stains.
DH used the machine.
We used a third kind of cleaner.
DH used machine (lather, rinse, repeat)
My carpet still seems to be vaguely yellow. :-\


White Dragon-  I don't know where you live, but if you're in the US and near a Bed Bath and Beyond, go in and ask for "Folex" spot remover- its non toxic and works wonders - spray it on and let it dry. No scrubbing or rinsing. Works great on old stains (and it's cheap)

New house rule - no Hollandaise in the living room!!!!
[/quote]