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Author Topic: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters  (Read 147924 times)

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Jones

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #165 on: February 03, 2013, 08:45:46 PM »
Tonight I decided to make hand-sized fried pies with apple filling. It has been around 10 years since I made fried pies, and my parents larder wasn't stocked the way that mine is. Apparently, when replacing Crisco with lard, I need to crank up the oil heat a bit more because those suckers soaked up the oil.

Daughter, age 7: "These are great! I give you a 100 for them."
Me: "Thank you. Next time I'll make them a little different though, so they won't be so fatty."
Daughter: "Fatty? Oh. I give you 50 for them."
A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems. CS Lewis

Morrigan

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #166 on: February 04, 2013, 09:11:17 AM »
I don't have too many kitchen disasters.

DH has had several, though.

Two stick out in my mind.

Did you know you can burn stuff in a crockpot?  That's on low?  With plenty of liquid?  Because DH did.  He turned honey chicken into charcoal.  I'd cooked it before, and it turned out just fine.  He followed my recipe.  To the T.  But instead of delicious honey chicken, we got charcoal.  No, actually, we got chinese because we couldn't eat the charcoal.

And another time, DH sent me a picture of food on the grill.  I asked if it was bacon.  He said, no, it was hotdogs.  Apparently he'd cooked them on high for more than 5 minutes.  They were sad and shriveled by the time he pulled them off. 

jedikaiti

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #167 on: February 04, 2013, 02:25:39 PM »
I didn't know that you could actually ignite brownies until I accidentally blew up a pan of them.

I had baked some brownies in a Pyrex dish, took them out of the oven, and set them on top of the (electric) stove top to cool. Later, while I was sitting in the living room, I heard a BOOM from the kitchen, and went to investigate.

Seems that the burner was turned on - low, but on. I don't remember fiddling with it, but my best guess is I bumped it or something, or it looked like it might be on, and in checking I turned it on? No clue. At any rate, the pan detonated and there was glass and brownie everywhere, and brownie in flames sitting right on the burner. Grabbed the fire extinguisher to put out the flames, and spent all that night (and a chunk of the next day) cleaning up the mess. Months later, when I moved, I was still finding extinguisher stuff in nooks and crannies - it made a far bigger mess than the glass and brownies!
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

lady_disdain

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #168 on: February 05, 2013, 08:42:29 AM »
My guess is that the Pyrex cracked and exploded, since it isn't designed for direct heat, such as a burner. Then, the brownie came in contact with the burner and ignited.

But what a mess! And no brownies to comfort yourself with.

Hmmmmm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #169 on: February 05, 2013, 10:10:31 AM »
I love AmandaElizabeth's stories.  I don't remember any major kitchen disasters from childhood because my parents were both pretty good cooks. But I do remember my oldest sister's husband just didn't come to the family with the "kitchen common sense" gene as my Dad referred to it.

He once went out to a gas grill, loaded it up with lighter fluid, turned on the gas and was a nano-second away from throwing a lit match in before Dad stopped him. 

He decided to make pina coladas and my mom's blender was acting up.  He put the blades directly on the blender and turned it on.  We were all ducking from the flying blades.

He started cooking rice, decided he was making too much so put a few cups of halfway cooked rice down the sink and turned on lots of hot water. The plumber got a big laugh out of that one.

He tried cooking eggs in the shell in the microwave.

After 20 years in the family, he did turn out to be a pretty darn good cook, learning to make one of the best Prime Rib roasts I've ever tasted.

Amava

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #170 on: February 05, 2013, 10:14:57 AM »
^ "What doesn't kill you, makes you a better cook!

What a dangerous young man he was, though.  :o

mmswm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #171 on: February 05, 2013, 10:22:43 AM »
I just remembered one of my favorite stories from when I was a kid.  My father was making a stir fry.  He had an outdoor gas burner that got *really* hot.  He came in with the wok and set it on the kitchen counter.  Did I mention that the gas burner got hot?  And the pan over the flames also got really hot?  It was hot enough to singe a nice little hole in the kitchen counter.  The best part though was his solution to the burn hole in the middle of the counter.  Instead of replacing it, he cut out a chunk of the counter and inset a glass cutting board.  I must say that cutting board was my favorite feature of that kitchen, and my mother liked it so much that she's had my father do that to both the houses they've lived in since then.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

andi

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #172 on: February 05, 2013, 10:34:23 AM »
I love Pyrex but it does scare me now. I blew up a bowl in the microwave a couple weeks ago. Cooking rice - same way I always have - it just exploded about halfway through the normal time.

My brother started 2 different grease fires in our old house - forgetting the stove was on and went doubt other business. My oaernts were not amused. (brother was in his 20's so old enough to know better)

gramma dishes

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #173 on: February 05, 2013, 11:01:16 AM »
I love Pyrex but it does scare me now. ...

Pyrex used to be so sturdy.  Then a few decades ago they stopped using the kind of glass they had been using all along and started using a different kind of glass.  Their theory was that the "old" glass was more like to break on impact and they thought that would be more dangerous than having glass shatter into pieces with the (supposedly) more rounded edges of the newer glass.

The only Pyrex piece I ever broke was a small ramekin sized dish (oversized custard dish) that I dropped from about two inches off the floor while putting it away in a lower cabinet.  It hit nothing else going down and the floor was cushioned vinyl (so not super hard like tile).  I was stunned that it would break so easily.  :o

Interestingly, I think Pyrex baking dishes manufactured in Europe STILL use the older glass. 

I still have a couple of really old Pyrex dishes that were my Mother's.  I feel safer with them than my "new and improved" Pyrex pieces.  I use the newer ones, but maybe a little more carefully.

Giggity

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #174 on: February 05, 2013, 11:07:03 AM »
I made bacon jam Friday afternoon. YAY! I doubled Martha Stewart's recipe, so I fried up three pounds of bacon. You're supposed to pour off all but a tablespoon of bacon grease. I grabbed the closest container ... flimsy Tupperware. It doesn't hold molten bacon grease as well as you'd think. The entire bottom melted out and yeah, bacon grease down the side of the cabinet.
Words mean things.

gramma dishes

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #175 on: February 05, 2013, 11:10:36 AM »
I made bacon jam Friday afternoon. YAY! I doubled Martha Stewart's recipe, so I fried up three pounds of bacon. You're supposed to pour off all but a tablespoon of bacon grease. I grabbed the closest container ... flimsy Tupperware. It doesn't hold molten bacon grease as well as you'd think. The entire bottom melted out and yeah, bacon grease down the side of the cabinet.

 ???  I must confess that I've never heard of bacon jam.  How is it used?

Hmmmmm

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #176 on: February 05, 2013, 11:20:01 AM »
I made bacon jam Friday afternoon. YAY! I doubled Martha Stewart's recipe, so I fried up three pounds of bacon. You're supposed to pour off all but a tablespoon of bacon grease. I grabbed the closest container ... flimsy Tupperware. It doesn't hold molten bacon grease as well as you'd think. The entire bottom melted out and yeah, bacon grease down the side of the cabinet.

 ???  I must confess that I've never heard of bacon jam.  How is it used?

We put it on homemade buttermilk biscuits.

jedikaiti

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #177 on: February 05, 2013, 11:47:07 AM »
My guess is that the Pyrex cracked and exploded, since it isn't designed for direct heat, such as a burner. Then, the brownie came in contact with the burner and ignited.

But what a mess! And no brownies to comfort yourself with.

Yea, pretty much. I was just really glad nobody was in the kitchen at the time.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

Luci

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #178 on: February 05, 2013, 01:18:46 PM »
Early in our marriage, my husband, the science teacher, put a Pyrex container of left-overs on the gas stove. It shattered, rice and glass shards shot all over the place. He did manage to clean it up. (I don't know how he did it, but I truly admire that.) I asked him what he was thinking, and it was that his beakers in the lab were Pyrex made by Corning and they went on the Bunson burners all of the time. How can I gripe at him about that? I just explained that cooking and lab equipment were made for different purposes, and he said he had just learned that.

I got an email years later - one of those that are full of misinformation, usually - about different years and Pyrex. I checked on Snopes at the time, and it seemed to confirm the email. I just looked for it again, and Snopes seems to be not quite so sure - check 'Exploding Pyrex' in their search. I do remember that the Pyrex in question was about the new stuff and mine was old.

I've always known not to shock Pyrex, like putting it from the oven onto a damp cloth.

MissRose

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Re: S/O Proud kitchen moments -- Kitchen disasters
« Reply #179 on: February 05, 2013, 02:04:07 PM »
This happened to my sister not me (but her cooking skills have greatly improved, and she now makes great chicken soup and lasagna among other things)

*I came home from work during my uni years and she had a fire under the burner where she was deep frying food.  I moved the pan and put out the fire with baking soda

*Another time during the same time period mentioned, she was cooking a box of broccoli and cheesy rice.  Our mother's stove heated things really fast and my sister did not remember that.  The garage stunk of burned cheesy rice that took a while to be removed from the cooled pan!