General Etiquette > Life...in general

Would You Find This Insulting? UPDATE #15 , 37 and 78

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delabela:
I don't know if I would find it insulting, as it comes across as plainly ridiculous and self-aggrandizing.  I do, however, think his intent was to belittle you, and if I was in your shoes, I would begin to limit contact.

gena264:

--- Quote from: oceanus on January 20, 2013, 07:51:02 PM ---Of course he was insulting you.  I think you know that - no, you are not being too sensitive.

What I do not understand is why you replied to his insulting rant (actually it was an attack, his "dear" was sarcasm, and so was his :) - and you prefaced it with "lol". ???  There was nothing to "lol" about, and you should not have justified yourself.

He's angry because you don't want to get closer/talk on phone.  He is the one who has issues - he clearly does not handle rejection well.

I'd drop him.  Unfriend/block, and ignore.

--- End quote ---


I really am upset with myself for that "lol" that I replied with. I think at first I thought he might have been joking. I know that sounds crazy, he sometimes jokes in a weird way and since it was in 'text' form... I don't know, I am making excuses really. I realize now I should have never used that 'lol".

Allyson:
Manipulative. He was trying to get you to talk on the phone with him to get closer and more flirtatious. I've had this happen--someone will basically 'dare' me to something beyond my comfort level. And if I didn't, get angry or insulting.

Also, not wanting to talk on the phone is pretty common! I am an extrovert, in no way a hermit, and love to socialise and chat. And I hate the phone! It's uncomfortable on my ear and annoying. I prefer chatting online or in person!

Aeris:

--- Quote from: gena264 on January 20, 2013, 07:59:12 PM ---
--- Quote from: oceanus on January 20, 2013, 07:51:02 PM ---Of course he was insulting you.  I think you know that - no, you are not being too sensitive.

What I do not understand is why you replied to his insulting rant (actually it was an attack, his "dear" was sarcasm, and so was his :) - and you prefaced it with "lol". ???  There was nothing to "lol" about, and you should not have justified yourself.

He's angry because you don't want to get closer/talk on phone.  He is the one who has issues - he clearly does not handle rejection well.

I'd drop him.  Unfriend/block, and ignore.

--- End quote ---


I really am upset with myself for that "lol" that I replied with. I think at first I thought he might have been joking. I know that sounds crazy, he sometimes jokes in a weird way and since it was in 'text' form... I don't know, I am making excuses really. I realize now I should have never used that 'lol".

--- End quote ---

Don't spend too much time beating yourself up. We do weird stuff in the face of someone being a complete, over the top, belittling jerk. We try to normalize completely bizarre behavior in the moment.

Just focus on giving yourself permission to get your back up and say something blunt when someone talks to you like that.

wheeitsme:

--- Quote from: Aeris on January 20, 2013, 08:09:42 PM ---
--- Quote from: gena264 on January 20, 2013, 07:59:12 PM ---
--- Quote from: oceanus on January 20, 2013, 07:51:02 PM ---Of course he was insulting you.  I think you know that - no, you are not being too sensitive.

What I do not understand is why you replied to his insulting rant (actually it was an attack, his "dear" was sarcasm, and so was his :) - and you prefaced it with "lol". ???  There was nothing to "lol" about, and you should not have justified yourself.

He's angry because you don't want to get closer/talk on phone.  He is the one who has issues - he clearly does not handle rejection well.

I'd drop him.  Unfriend/block, and ignore.

--- End quote ---


I really am upset with myself for that "lol" that I replied with. I think at first I thought he might have been joking. I know that sounds crazy, he sometimes jokes in a weird way and since it was in 'text' form... I don't know, I am making excuses really. I realize now I should have never used that 'lol".

--- End quote ---

Don't spend too much time beating yourself up. We do weird stuff in the face of someone being a complete, over the top, belittling jerk. We try to normalize completely bizarre behavior in the moment.

Just focus on giving yourself permission to get your back up and say something blunt when someone talks to you like that.

--- End quote ---

Exactly.  Don't beat yourself up because you responded in a rational way to an irrational person.  That says somethig good about you.

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