Author Topic: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.  (Read 6516 times)

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JenJay

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2013, 07:36:05 AM »
I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to cut him off the next invitation list! That said, if you'd like to give him another chance, I'd email him and say "Listen, I know you were goofing around, but it bothers me that I repeatedly asked you not to slice my paper with your new knife and you completely ignored me and did it anyway. I want to clear the air before the next dinner at my house. You're welcome to bring your knife IF you can restrict the cutting to the foods we're preparing for dinner and whatever you bring."

If (or more likely when) he whines about it at the next dinner, look him straight in the eye without sming and say "You may think it's stupid but I don't. It doesn't matter what you sliced, the point is that I repeatedly asked you to stop and you ignored me. If you think it's so funny I guess I need to reconsider inviting you next time we meet at my house."

TootsNYC

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2013, 07:38:29 AM »
...

What part of "no" did he not understand? The N or the O?

I am normally all for "please" and "thank you", but I think this is one situation where I would advise to leave it out.
"I said no. Stop that now!" and take the paper or whatever he has decided to destroy/play with that time away from him.
I understand what you are saying, but this guy was totally oblivious to what she was saying and waving a sharp knife around in the air.  No matter how harmless he may be, this could result in serious injury to someone. Anyone who was so carried away that he would grab a paper in someone else's home and start cutting it up is not someone I would approach casually.

Oh, I think she could have. I think the mindset of "accommodating him" was in evidence, and the mindset of "stopping him" was not.

I don''t think you have to wrestle it out of is hand, but walking directly toward him with a stern face and a hand out for him to give it to you. And "Chuck, stop--don't cut up my stuff!"

I also think the "not that, I use that" might have been replaced with "Don't cut up my stuff!"

But basically, how lame is he? Cutting up paper with a kitchen knife? I'm not even cure how that works.

And he truly has indicated that he has no respect for your home or your possessions. THAT is the main point. Not that he didn't listen to your directions, but that he just starting looking at YOUR STUFF to find something to cut up, which means he doesn't respect YOUR STUFF. Which means, he doesn't really respect you.

SamiHami

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2013, 07:41:00 AM »
If Chuck asks why he is no longer invited over , tell him you bought brand new knife and you tested it by slicing his name off the guest list .  >:D

 where the heck is that like button when you need it?

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #18 on: January 22, 2013, 08:07:34 AM »
Not trivial , at all.  And I would need one less chair for dinner at my place, in the future, because I would have one less guest.  I am curious whether anyone in the group responded in support of you.  It sounds like no one did.

Just what I was thinking, too.
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Margo

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #19 on: January 22, 2013, 08:56:37 AM »
He would not be invited over again.  He has no respect for your boundaries in your home and has proven it. If I were you ( or even if I had "merely" witnessed this) I would not be inviting him over again. If he asked why it would be "Chuck,  I don't care about the the paper, but I do care that you displayed such disregard for my boundaries and my property in my home, there for until I can trust you again, you will not be invited back over. "

This. And I think that it would be fine to bring the issue up now, even a few days later. If he does try the 'making a big issue out of it' approach I think that Snowdragon's wording is perfect. It's not about the paper, it's about he total disrespect for you, your property and your clearly expressed wishes.

(also, cutting paper with a good knife? not a good idea)

MrTango

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #20 on: January 22, 2013, 09:29:01 AM »
Someone who would play with a knife would never be allowed in my kitchen again, and would likely not be allowed in my home.

doodlemor

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #21 on: January 22, 2013, 10:06:49 AM »
I don't think it is trivial of you or silly to be annoyed.  I'm sure it was not the paper being ruined that bothered you, but the way Chuck treated you.  The lack of respect he showed was astonishing and it is a big deal when somebody doesn't respect you.  It was very rude of him to start pawing through the papers on your counter.  They were important papers and he would have ruined them if you had not stopped him.  The complete lack of respect came when you told him several times to stop slashing your paper and he didn't listen.  His actions showed that he felt that his knife demonstration was important, your feelings and property were not.  Something like that would make me feel very angry and violated.

Besides being rude, Chuck sounds very childish.  If he wanted to demonstrate his knife, he should have asked you for permission and asked and waited for you to obtain a piece of scrap paper for him.  It sounds like he is a little kid who has to show off how cool his knife is at that moment and can't wait for a suitable piece of paper.

Personally, Chuck doesn't sound like somebody who I would want to continue a friendship with.  It sounds like he repeatedly walks over boundaries and doesn't respect people.  If you consider him a fairly good friend, it may be worth bring up with him.  However, he might try to minimize the problem and say you are making a big deal over a piece of paper.  (I say this from experience because I had an ex boyfriend in college who would do 'small' annoying things and continue when asked to stop.  When I would get upset that he wasn't respecting my boundaries, he would complain that I was making a big deal over a small thing).

POD.  Very well said.

I suppose that it would not have been ehell approved to channel Elaine Benice in this situation, whack him with both hands in the chest, and yell "Get out!"

artk2002

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #22 on: January 22, 2013, 11:00:55 AM »
If Chuck asks why he is no longer invited over , tell him you bought brand new knife and you tested it by slicing his name off the guest list .  >:D

I *like* this one.

It may be because a knife was involved, but I'd be getting rid of this guy. Joking around with knives is something that makes me extremely nervous. He certainly doesn't sound like someone mature enough to be wielding a sharp implement.

Oh, I think she could have. I think the mindset of "accommodating him" was in evidence, and the mindset of "stopping him" was not.

I don''t think you have to wrestle it out of is hand, but walking directly toward him with a stern face and a hand out for him to give it to you. And "Chuck, stop--don't cut up my stuff!"

I've got to disagree with you here. I'm a 225+ pound man, who looks very intimidating and I wouldn't approach someone wielding a knife and who isn't responding to a verbal "no." An unintentional wild move to keep the knife or paper away from me would likely result in someone getting hurt. It just not worth any kind of risk.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Yvaine

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #23 on: January 22, 2013, 11:03:05 AM »
Is he in a knife-selling MLM? That's just bizarre and rude. Chibichan nailed it.  ;D

weeblewobble

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #24 on: January 22, 2013, 11:56:24 AM »
No, you're not being trivial.   Chuck behaved like a jerk.  You asked him REPEATEDLY to stop doing something and he ignored you.  While waving a sharp knife around.  This is not someone who would get a repeat invitation to my home.  ("Hey, there's some stuff you forgot to slash the last time you were here!")  I'm not saying cut direct, but I would definitely prevent further violations of my home.

VorFemme

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #25 on: January 22, 2013, 01:13:49 PM »
If Chuck asks why he is no longer invited over , tell him you bought brand new knife and you tested it by slicing his name off the guest list .  >:D

Guess who wins the Internet's today? I love this response!
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rashea

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #26 on: January 22, 2013, 01:15:48 PM »
Wow, on top of everything else, he knows nothing about sharpening, since cutting paper like that will dull a knife quickly.

I think I would bring it up. After all, what if you hadn't been watching? What if he'd reached for some piece of paper that was valuable? Regardless, people who destroy my things without asking, and especially after being told "stop" need to fix that before they are invited back.
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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2013, 01:17:20 PM »
I would pointedly not invite him to my home again.  There is no reason to accommodate someone who doesn't recognize the repeated word NO, and who seems to not care about what you think or want, despite it being your home.  Life is too short to put up with people like this.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

oceanus

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2013, 01:34:53 PM »
This would really tick me off.  Here is the part that bothers me most:

Quote
I said, "No, please don't cut that up, I use that!" He laughed and continued to slash. I asked several times to "please stop, that's my exercise sheet" to no avail.

Doesn't matter if it was something you could easily print again.

I'm afraid I would have loudly said.  "STOP!" >:(


EMuir

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Re: Please don't randomly slash papers you find in my home.
« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2013, 01:42:42 PM »
I would not invite him over again.  If you do, you might want to keep a squirt bottle of water on hand.  It works for the cats when they ignore the verbal warning. Definitely would get his attention.  >:D