What to do about coughing neighbors?

[JeanFromBNA]

I suffer from really bad hay fever and one afternoon I was sneezing constantly, when my neighbour yelled through the wall, 'Stop f'ing sneezing!'...well, without the censorship....which I thought was out of line, it really wasn't something I could help.

I would have yelled back, "I wish I f'ing could!"  Sneezing due to hay fever is far from voluntary.  It's miserable.

[happychick]

It could me a medication issue.  I started a new drug that dialates the blood vessels and developed a cough soon after.  That was a know side  of that medication.  My pulmonologist is the one that told me and the next visit to my family doctor resulted in a change of medication and no more cough.

[DavidH]

I think you have to live with it.  I can't imagine what you could do about it.

The nicest thing I could think of would be to honestly say please let me treat you to a consultation with a pulmonologist; I'll also pay for the follow-up treatment.  The problem is that no matter how you say it, it will come across as snarky at best. 

[rose red]

you know, coughing is not a habit.

Well, it can be.  My husband has a nervous cough, like a tic.  He doesn't do it all of the time, but it's a habit, all right.

Whether the cough has a medical or psychological origin, I don't think that there's anything that you can say to them about it. 

I used to do this and even now, will do it when stressed.  It started as a real cough and I just...continued.  I knew it was annoying, but it just made me feel better, like people who snap rubber bands or bite their nails to feel better.

[TootsNYC]

you know, coughing is not a habit.

Well, it can be.  My husband has a nervous cough, like a tic.  He doesn't do it all of the time, but it's a habit, all right.

Whether the cough has a medical or psychological origin, I don't think that there's anything that you can say to them about it. 

I used to do this and even now, will do it when stressed.  It started as a real cough and I just...continued.  I knew it was annoying, but it just made me feel better, like people who snap rubber bands or bite their nails to feel better.

Actually, I know that it *can* be, but I would wager that it's relatively small.

I dumped a pulmonologist because she kept suggesting that this was what my cough was because HERS had been. Meanwhile I'm coughing up stuff, etc.

So I don't find it a helpful suggestion most of the time. She didn't decide hers was a habit until AFTER she had truly investigated medical reasons.

[MOM21SON]

I think asking someone to stop coughing is like asking someone to stop breathing.  I understand the annoyance.

[Mental Magpie]

I am going to have to disagree slightly with everyone else.  Your neighbor who coughs in the wee hours of the night?  You can ask him to try to do something about it; it's all in the way you phrase/approach it.  If it wasn't in the wee hours of the night, I would agree that you can't say anything to him.

"Hey, neighbor, I know you have to let the dog out when you get home at night, but could you please try to stay farther away from my window?  Sounds carry so easy here and I'm often woken from the sounds.  Thanks for understanding!"

[chariset]

I am going to have to disagree slightly with everyone else.  Your neighbor who coughs in the wee hours of the night?  You can ask him to try to do something about it; it's all in the way you phrase/approach it.  If it wasn't in the wee hours of the night, I would agree that you can't say anything to him.

"Hey, neighbor, I know you have to let the dog out when you get home at night, but could you please try to stay farther away from my window?  Sounds carry so easy here and I'm often woken from the sounds.  Thanks for understanding!"

It would be dishonest.  I only hear him because I'm here at my computer and awake.

I found out today that they're going to close this section of apartments in June and start redeveloping the land (not a surprise; it's been in the works for some time) so I only have to endure him until then.

[Winterlight]

I think the best thing you can do about it is to get a white noise machine. Sorry, OP. 

Agreed. I know it's annoying, but I'd bet he likes it even less than you do.

[Mental Magpie]

I am going to have to disagree slightly with everyone else.  Your neighbor who coughs in the wee hours of the night?  You can ask him to try to do something about it; it's all in the way you phrase/approach it.  If it wasn't in the wee hours of the night, I would agree that you can't say anything to him.

"Hey, neighbor, I know you have to let the dog out when you get home at night, but could you please try to stay farther away from my window?  Sounds carry so easy here and I'm often woken from the sounds.  Thanks for understanding!"

It would be dishonest.  I only hear him because I'm here at my computer and awake.

I found out today that they're going to close this section of apartments in June and start redeveloping the land (not a surprise; it's been in the works for some time) so I only have to endure him until then.

Sorry, didn't realize you were already awake.

[Yvaine]

I am going to have to disagree slightly with everyone else.  Your neighbor who coughs in the wee hours of the night?  You can ask him to try to do something about it; it's all in the way you phrase/approach it.  If it wasn't in the wee hours of the night, I would agree that you can't say anything to him.

"Hey, neighbor, I know you have to let the dog out when you get home at night, but could you please try to stay farther away from my window?  Sounds carry so easy here and I'm often woken from the sounds.  Thanks for understanding!"

It would be dishonest.  I only hear him because I'm here at my computer and awake.

Can you listen to headphones while you use the computer late at night? That might block him out.

[MsOverThinker]

Have you tried earplugs?  I live in a first-floor apartment building and people outside don't seem to know I can hear them (I've overheard the most embarrassing conversations).  I have recently started sleeping with earplugs and you'd be amazed what they can keep you from hearing.  Maybe if you don't want to listen to music while you're at your computer, you can just pop in some earplugs.

[TootsNYC]

I am going to have to disagree slightly with everyone else.  Your neighbor who coughs in the wee hours of the night?  You can ask him to try to do something about it; it's all in the way you phrase/approach it.  If it wasn't in the wee hours of the night, I would agree that you can't say anything to him.

"Hey, neighbor, I know you have to let the dog out when you get home at night, but could you please try to stay farther away from my window?  Sounds carry so easy here and I'm often woken from the sounds.  Thanks for understanding!"

But you didn't ask him to stop coughing!

You're not the first to suggest asking him to be careful about *noise* in general, or about being too close to her windows, etc. I think almost all of us would agree that this is possible.

It's specifically asking him to stop coughing that you can't really do.

[Roe]

I'm sorry, OP, this is one of those things you'll have to learn to live with. It would be inappropriate to complain or even mention.

Pod. Life is sometimes messy and we just have to deal.

[Twik]

you know, coughing is not a habit.

Well, it can be.  My husband has a nervous cough, like a tic.  He doesn't do it all of the time, but it's a habit, all right.

Whether the cough has a medical or psychological origin, I don't think that there's anything that you can say to them about it. 

I used to do this and even now, will do it when stressed. 

Is that you, Princess Anastasia?