General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

S/O Career Sins - Gossip

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WestAussieGirl:
Reading the career sins thread had me thinking about a situation at my office.  One of the married women in my office was very chummy with her (also married) supervisor.  Coffee together, lunches, always hanging around each others desks etc.  Gossip about them having an affair started pretty quickly.  When people said it to me I just said that I didn't think it was true and didn't pass it on to anyone else.

Eventually it got back to the pair in question and he became completely enraged about people gossiping about them.  He went around to various people demanding to know who was saying these things.  He was up in people's faces screaming and shaking with rage.

I used to be quite friendly with the guy but because of his reaction to the gossip I now give him a very wide berth. 

Obviously he handled it badly but it got me thinking, what is the best way to handle gossip about you, (especially when it's true but you don't want to tell anyone)?

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: WestAussieGirl on January 23, 2013, 07:34:43 PM ---Reading the career sins thread had me thinking about a situation at my office.  One of the married women in my office was very chummy with her (also married) supervisor.  Coffee together, lunches, always hanging around each others desks etc.  Gossip about them having an affair started pretty quickly.  When people said it to me I just said that I didn't think it was true and didn't pass it on to anyone else.

Eventually it got back to the pair in question and he became completely enraged about people gossiping about them.  He went around to various people demanding to know who was saying these things.  He was up in people's faces screaming and shaking with rage.

I used to be quite friendly with the guy but because of his reaction to the gossip I now give him a very wide berth. 

Obviously he handled it badly but it got me thinking, what is the best way to handle gossip about you, (especially when it's true but you don't want to tell anyone)?

--- End quote ---

I would recommend not doing whatever it is that produces the gossip, especially for these two twits.

LifeOnPluto:

--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on January 23, 2013, 08:04:45 PM ---
--- Quote from: WestAussieGirl on January 23, 2013, 07:34:43 PM ---Reading the career sins thread had me thinking about a situation at my office.  One of the married women in my office was very chummy with her (also married) supervisor.  Coffee together, lunches, always hanging around each others desks etc.  Gossip about them having an affair started pretty quickly.  When people said it to me I just said that I didn't think it was true and didn't pass it on to anyone else.

Eventually it got back to the pair in question and he became completely enraged about people gossiping about them.  He went around to various people demanding to know who was saying these things.  He was up in people's faces screaming and shaking with rage.

I used to be quite friendly with the guy but because of his reaction to the gossip I now give him a very wide berth. 

Obviously he handled it badly but it got me thinking, what is the best way to handle gossip about you, (especially when it's true but you don't want to tell anyone)?

--- End quote ---

I would recommend not doing whatever it is that produces the gossip, especially for these two twits.

--- End quote ---

I don't think they have to stop being friends. But the way this guy handled it was rude and silly. Really, he should have just laughed it off. By overreacting like that, it just gives more credence to the idea that he was actually having an affair!

misha412:
Gossip is a part of many social structures, work-related or not. Unfortunately, gossip can ruin careers and leave bad feelings where there shouldn't be any.

The best way to prevent gossip is to not give anyone fodder for the gossip mill in the first place.

If gossip starts, there is not much to do about it except ignore it, avoid situations that will fuel it, and let it die a natural death. Trying to tell everyone that it is not true will only make the gossip mill stay active, talking about the original tale and adding the details of the response. The guy's response shows the exact opposite way of handling the situation.

The two people in the original post gave the gossip mill plenty of fodder with their close, open friendship. While I hope men and women can be friends, there are certain expectations of married individuals interacting with others who are not his or her spouse. Having an overtly chummy relationship with someone of the opposite sex is not normal for a married person.

WestAussieGirl:
Sorry, re-reading my post I realised I forgot to add that the gossip was actually true.

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