General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Is This Disrespectful?

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Truluv86:
This has been bugging me for awhile now. I'm wondering if I'm reading too much into this small thing. I'd appreciate some objective input.

 I've worked at this company for going on three years. There are only about 8-10 employees. Several of the employees work in other departments and our work doesn't overlap too much. We all know each other by name and know a little about each person's backstory/have even met a few other employees' close relatives.

There are three employees that I see every day and work in the same office with. We spend a couple days a week working closely on simultaneous projects and the rest of the week working on our own separate pieces of the projects.

Our bosses/the owners don't really oversee us directly. They occasionally give us new assignments or lay different rules in place but pretty much leave us to do our work after that, as long as everything seems to be going well. We communicate with them fairly frequently each week through email or over the phone, but they work from their homes.

Two of the people I work closely with know how to spell my name. Let's say my name is Annabeth and Anny is my nickname. It is pronounced just like Annie but spelled slightly differently. I sign much of my personal correspondence with all of my co-workers with my nickname. They all call me by my nickname too when speaking to me in person.

I have noticed for quite a while now that only 2 of my closer co-workers spell my name right. I can understand how the other co-workers that I do not work with daily do not know how to spell my name. But I find it rather disrespectful that my 2 employers and my 1 close co-worker can't spell it/don't care to spell it the way I prefer.

I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist in everything I do. I'm always careful to spell other people's names the way they prefer and call them by what they prefer. It only seems courteous/respectful to do so. I feel these people should know me well enough by now that it should be very simple to know my name and how I prefer it spelled. Even our cleaning lady who comes in when we leave for the day knows how to spell it right at least half the time and makes the effort. As far as I have noticed, my 1 direct co-worker and bosses really haven't tried.

This name thing has been particularly bothering me lately because I'm feeling rather under-appreciated by my co-workers, and my bosses in particular. They don't seem to realize just how much I do. So their seeming refusal to bother knowing how to spell my name/not caring how to spell my name just seems like a symptom of a larger issue to me.

I may be making a mountain out of a molehill though. How many of you, in a company this small, would know how to spell all of your co-workers' names the way they prefer? Is continuing to spell someone's name the way you prefer/usually see it, and not the way the person prefers to have their name spelled rude or disrespectful? What say you, Ehellions?

guihong:
I've had a similar issue, but not at work, just on a message board.

I admit to having a terrible time remembering names, but once I have it, I make a point of spelling it right and pronouncing it correctly.  Your name is a deep part of who you are, and it's basic courtesy in my opinion to get it right.  Unfortunately, I don't have great advice, but maybe politely say to the person, "Oh, it's T-R-U-L-U-V, not L-O-V-E".  Maybe that will work.

You're right that the name thing might be a sign of festering dissatisfaction with the job as a whole.


MariaE:
This happens to me all the time. My name is Maria (obviously ;) ) yet people keep calling me Marie. People's minds (my own included) are great at reading what they think has been written rather than what actually has been written, so expecting them to catch on to the fact that my name is Maria simply because it says so in my email signature gets me nowhere. My experience is that it's got nothing to do with disrespect, but just that they've managed to convince themselves that my name is Marie. Usually I just say, "Actually, my name's Maria, not Marie" and that'll fix it.

Sharnita:
I think there has been a lot of debate here and some prople think it os a big deal and others don't. In a case like Anny, I would say that I have always seen it Annie. That spelling would also make sense to me because there is an e later on in the formal  name. ,However, if they were mispelling the name in some nontraditional way I would wonder why.

jmarvellous:
This has come up here countless times, and I am pretty sure the consensus, if it can be called that, is that you are entitled to feel however you want about it, but their reaction to being called out (more than once) could vary widely -- as will ehell's opinion on the way to do it.

It really gets my goat that people who have to type in my email address regularly still can't be. bothered to spell my name right in the next line, but proper spelling just isn't a priority for many.

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