General Etiquette > general

Not eating food served to you

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I remember hearing about taking a 'polite helping' of food and pushing it around on your plate to appear that it has been tasted.

I don't agree with this rule.  In my opinion, it seems a little silly and unnecessary (not to mention wasteful) to take food for show with no intention of eating it to appear 'polite'.  It is not impolite to not a helping of everything offered.  I doubt the host is monitoring what everybody has on their plates and if they are, they are the one with the problem.  If somebody offers, a simple 'no thank you' is sufficient.  I don't think the reason for not taking food matters, whether the person is allergic, has a food aversion, or simply doesn't like it. 

I agree with cicero that the only situation where not eating a certain thing might make the host uncomfortable is a situation like being invited to a clam bake, but you don't eat shellfish. 

I vote not rude and please don't take a helping if you don't intend to eat it.  It will leave more for others and not be wasteful.  If you wish to try it, by all means take a small serving first to see if you like it.  No, I would never presume to tell any guests this out loud.  And as long as no comment is made as in eew no or grimaces, I wouldn't care a whit if you declined.
Not everyone will like everything that is offered.  As a hostess, I would take note quietly on what you pass up on and do end up taking.  So that the next time I host, I can provide more of the liked dishes or provide less of the passed up dishes depending.

Outdoor Girl:
If food is served buffet or family style, I only take those foods I'm willing to eat, or at least try.  Why take something I know I'm not going to eat and waste it?

But if it is a plated meal where I'm not asked what I'd like and just presented with the plate, in that case, if there is a food I find disagreeable, I might push it around on the plate a bit to make it look like I ate some.

OP, you are not rude for only taking those things you know you like or are willing to try.  And if anyone comments on what foods you didn't take, they're the rude one.

Actually, I think the opposite is true. I think it's rude to take food you know you're not going to eat. I don't like to see food wasted so if you put something on your plate it should be because you like it or at least think you will. If you take a bite and it isn't to your liking, that's the way it goes, you shouldn't force yourself to eat it. But putting things on your plate that you have no intention of eating is wasteful and if I'm the hostess, I'd think it was rude.


--- Quote from: Geekychick1984 on January 24, 2013, 06:11:39 AM ---
I've read on here that it's rude to not take a little of everything when you go to someone else's house.  Is this true? 
--- End quote ---

I haven't read that here. In any case, I disagree with that sentiment.

It would be silly - and wasteful - to take food you have no intention of eating.

Given the allergies, preferences, food phobias, etc. that people have (including me), I think you should take food you will eat, and be enthusiastic about the meal and efforts made by the host.


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