General Etiquette > Life...in general

Teaching equals hosting?

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Steve:
Casting in ehell time?

I belong to a purple club. At this club we are taught purple and certified purple. My friend teaches purple for the club. This does involve some pay, but it is not much and should be considered voluteerwork. The club also provides purple services to the community.

This week we had a special evening regarding a certain aspect of purple. A guest speaker came over and afterwards there was some chips (crisps) and pop at the clubhouse. As a teacher my friend M got up, thanked the guestspeaker, handed over the small attention, and told everyone there would be pop and chips.

M had organised the entire event, set up the chairs and room etc. She was tired after the cleanup. And so was I. We decided to leave the clubhouse after one drink and only a few crisps, I think we were there for about 30 minutes.
We said our goodbyes but as we were waiting for the elevator a member A approached us and told us we were rude for leaving early,as M had 'invited' everyone to the clubhouse.

I feel that M was not hosting, as this was a club event. She had already organised most of the event and was tired. She should be allowed to leave when she wanted. ( Actually, I wanted to leave and she decided to come along)

Is the person announcing the event also the host? Are we cast into ehell? Or was A very much out of line telling M she schould stay and put in even more effort?

Lynn2000:
So, you and M were in attendance for the guest speaker's entire presentation, and then for half an hour of the "social time" afterward, right? So when you guys left, there were still people in the room socializing and eating.

Since M organized everything--invited people, set up the chairs, handled the speaker, and cleaned up after the speaker's talk--I guess if anyone could be said to be hosting, it would be M. I think M ought to have either stayed to clean up after the snacks, see the speaker out, and close up the room (whatever needed to be done), or M could have asked someone else to do it on her behalf.

A was definitely rude for chastising M. However, A may have had the same questions--who was going to clean up after the snacks and close up the room, if M was leaving? At least, this is how I'm interpreting the situation, please let me know if I'm incorrect about the logistics.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: Lynn2000 on January 24, 2013, 05:57:36 PM ---Since M organized everything--invited people, set up the chairs, handled the speaker, and cleaned up after the speaker's talk--I guess if anyone could be said to be hosting, it would be M. I think M ought to have either stayed to clean up after the snacks, see the speaker out, and close up the room (whatever needed to be done), or M could have asked someone else to do it on her behalf.

--- End quote ---

I agree with this. EXCEPT: M set up stuff at the speaking center and was "tired after the cleanup," so she hadn't left anything *OF HERS* undone.

It sounds like her only involvement with "the clubhouse" was that she said to people, "don't forget to stop by, there will be snacks." That doesn't make her a host.

The only thing that might make her a host is if she had recruited the guest speaker. Then she is the host *TO THE SPEAKER,* and as long as she gave her specific goodbyes to that person, she is clear to go.


--- Quote ---A was definitely rude for chastising M. However, A may have had the same questions--who was going to clean up after the snacks and close up the room, if M was leaving? At least, this is how I'm interpreting the situation, please let me know if I'm incorrect about the logistics.

--- End quote ---

A said she "had invited people to the clubhouse"--I think she sees M as the hostess--and she's wrong.

Lynn2000:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on January 24, 2013, 06:52:46 PM ---I agree with this. EXCEPT: M set up stuff at the speaking center and was "tired after the cleanup," so she hadn't left anything *OF HERS* undone.

It sounds like her only involvement with "the clubhouse" was that she said to people, "don't forget to stop by, there will be snacks." That doesn't make her a host.

The only thing that might make her a host is if she had recruited the guest speaker. Then she is the host *TO THE SPEAKER,* and as long as she gave her specific goodbyes to that person, she is clear to go.

--- End quote ---

That's a good point. I was picturing that this all happened in the same location--the speaker's presentation, and then the snacks on a table off to the side, say. If M's involvement with the clubhouse was like TootsNYC says, then I think she's clear to leave when she wants.

Whoever was in charge of putting out the snacks at the clubhouse, and cleaning up afterwards there, would be more of a host *AT THE CLUBHOUSE* than M was.

Steve:
I will explain some stuff: the clubhouse is a different location from the speaking center.

M is the teacher for the club, but the club president, the treasurer, the ladies that always handle the coffee table and logistics were all there as well. So there were people in the clubhouse, after we left.

A is a relatively new member of the club, she joined only a few months ago so she may have been confused by the situation, but she would know that the others handle these things on normal days (when we do not have a guest-speaker).

When A confronted us I tried the "icy stare of death" but I don't think I have the knack yet. M told A that she was "really really done for the day and was going home". I think she was very polite about it, something for me to learn there :) But the incident did nag at us both a little the next day, so I figured I better see if we had missed something.

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