Called out for being 4 minutes late.

[LeveeWoman]

On the flip side what would people do if the FA suggested they needed to reschedule if someone were late?  My orthodontist won't register you in for your appt if you are late, even by a few minutes, you need to reschedule unless they aren't too busy and then they do give you a bit of a short lecture about "just this one time, in the future....".  Often appts are only 15-20 minutes so missing 4-5 minutes is 25% or more of the appt.  However, they are always running on time because of this and you don't have to wait to maybe at the most a minute after your appt time.

This was not an appointment for one person.

[SiotehCat]

If both people needed to be there, then both of them needed to be on time.

The OP hasn't said whether or not it was okay for the FA to start the meeting without her. Or if the husband said anything about not starting without her.

[Mikayla]

It would be easier for me to excuse this as a failed attempt at humor if I could figure out why it could be funny.  Even said in a very dry tone, she sounds a bit tightly wrapped.

[Lynn2000]

DH and financial advisor were talking casually about DH's work. I sat down, they finished their conversation, and before I had the chance to say anything, the financial advisor looked squarely at me and said "So...you're late. Your poor husband got here on time and didn't know what to do or where you were. I went ahead and invited him in. What were you doing? Why were you late?"

I was stunned and flabbergasted. I could feel my face turning red. I stammered that I had just come from work and the scanner wasn't working properly which is why I got held up.

Rereading the OP, I'm struck by the fact that, once the OP arrived, the FA finished her conversation with DH, chastised the OP with several sentences, and then waited for the OP to answer her questions--before getting down to business. All of those things combined could have easily taken 4 minutes or so, which were wasted at the direction of the FA. So if they were 8 minutes late getting started with the real business, half of that was the FA's fault. If she was really concerned with staying on time, she should have just gotten down to business right away, and then at the end, if there was time (even as the OP and her DH were pushing back their chairs and standing up), she could have said, "By the way, I'm scheduled really tightly, and I need to start things exactly on time in the future."

So count me as those who think she was trying to make a joke, and it failed utterly. Or, it was a "joke" but also a vent for her irritation at the OP being late--like she was mildly annoyed, so she tried to turn it into an over-the-top joke that pointed out the lateness to the OP, rather than saying, more professionally, "I would appreciate you being on time in the future." I would find it very off-putting to be chastised that way, even as a joke. I would rather someone like an FA be straight-forward with me about their concerns, rather than exaggerating and joking--I'm going to an FA because I need advice about some important stuff that I can't figure out on my own, so I'd like things to be friendly and tactful, but ultimately honest and plain-spoken. If me being four minutes late this one time is honestly a problem, please just tell me that. I might give her another chance if she'd never acted that way before, but if it were easy to switch to a new FA, I might just do that instead.

I do think that late is late; but I think reasonable people give small grace periods (<5min) when it isn't a habit with someone. Also, it sounds to me like this wasn't a situation where other people were going to be put out because the OP was late. If the FA had another appointment at 1:30pm (say), then she would be justified in saying, "I'm sorry, we're a bit pressed for time now, so perhaps you could discuss these options at home and let me know which you want, or make another appointment to ask me questions later." In other words she could have hurried certain things along or tabled things for another appointment, in order to keep her own schedule on track--that would be the natural consequence for the OP of being late, if the lateness truly impacted the FA's ability to do her job.

[NyaChan]

OP - how long was your husband at the office?  Is it possible that she was mentally adding the time he spent waiting to your total?  For example:  DH shows up 15 minutes early and she is ready to start but you aren't there yet.  They wait until you show up 4 minutes after the appointment time, so total they waited almost 20 minutes? 

I think she was rude and really a bit unwise to say anything to a customer after a 4 minute delay.  The only reason I am even asking about how long she may have thought she was waiting because it seems so bizarre to make a fuss over 4 minutes.

[oopsie]

DH and financial advisor were talking casually about DH's work. I sat down, they finished their conversation, and before I had the chance to say anything, the financial advisor looked squarely at me and said "So...you're late. Your poor husband got here on time and didn't know what to do or where you were. I went ahead and invited him in. What were you doing? Why were you late?"

I was stunned and flabbergasted. I could feel my face turning red. I stammered that I had just come from work and the scanner wasn't working properly which is why I got held up.

Rereading the OP, I'm struck by the fact that, once the OP arrived, the FA finished her conversation with DH, chastised the OP with several sentences, and then waited for the OP to answer her questions--before getting down to business. All of those things combined could have easily taken 4 minutes or so, which were wasted at the direction of the FA. So if they were 8 minutes late getting started with the real business, half of that was the FA's fault. If she was really concerned with staying on time, she should have just gotten down to business right away, and then at the end, if there was time (even as the OP and her DH were pushing back their chairs and standing up), she could have said, "By the way, I'm scheduled really tightly, and I need to start things exactly on time in the future."

So count me as those who think she was trying to make a joke, and it failed utterly. Or, it was a "joke" but also a vent for her irritation at the OP being late--like she was mildly annoyed, so she tried to turn it into an over-the-top joke that pointed out the lateness to the OP, rather than saying, more professionally, "I would appreciate you being on time in the future." I would find it very off-putting to be chastised that way, even as a joke. I would rather someone like an FA be straight-forward with me about their concerns, rather than exaggerating and joking--I'm going to an FA because I need advice about some important stuff that I can't figure out on my own, so I'd like things to be friendly and tactful, but ultimately honest and plain-spoken. If me being four minutes late this one time is honestly a problem, please just tell me that. I might give her another chance if she'd never acted that way before, but if it were easy to switch to a new FA, I might just do that instead.

I do think that late is late; but I think reasonable people give small grace periods (<5min) when it isn't a habit with someone. Also, it sounds to me like this wasn't a situation where other people were going to be put out because the OP was late. If the FA had another appointment at 1:30pm (say), then she would be justified in saying, "I'm sorry, we're a bit pressed for time now, so perhaps you could discuss these options at home and let me know which you want, or make another appointment to ask me questions later." In other words she could have hurried certain things along or tabled things for another appointment, in order to keep her own schedule on track--that would be the natural consequence for the OP of being late, if the lateness truly impacted the FA's ability to do her job.

To answer some of the other questions, the FA absolutely could have started with just DH. They were chatting leisurely about his job when I got there, the appointment ended up lasting 45 minutes with no indication whatsoever that we needed to wrap things up as she had another appointment coming. In fact, at the end of the appointment, she even offered to deposit a cheque for me, something that I could have easily done at a teller or the bank machine. That said, I have to deduce that my being four minutes late had little or no impact on the rest of her day. Again, I fully acknowledge my lateness. I just don't agree at all with the way she chose to address it.

[oopsie]

OP - how long was your husband at the office?  Is it possible that she was mentally adding the time he spent waiting to your total?  For example:  DH shows up 15 minutes early and she is ready to start but you aren't there yet.  They wait until you show up 4 minutes after the appointment time, so total they waited almost 20 minutes? 

I think she was rude and really a bit unwise to say anything to a customer after a 4 minute delay.  The only reason I am even asking about how long she may have thought she was waiting because it seems so bizarre to make a fuss over 4 minutes.

I had wondered about that too. However, when I asked him, he said that he got there at 1, she invited him in to her office and then I arrived just a couple of minutes afterwards. He was kind of shocked that I had been interrogated like that as well and the only real explanation he could come up with was that was her way of joking with me...

[ladyknight1]

As someone whose future career will involve hourly patient sessions, I am sure I will have to deal with lateness then.

However, I believe your FA crossed the line in a major way. This single incident would be a deal breaker for me.

[NyaChan]

OP - how long was your husband at the office?  Is it possible that she was mentally adding the time he spent waiting to your total?  For example:  DH shows up 15 minutes early and she is ready to start but you aren't there yet.  They wait until you show up 4 minutes after the appointment time, so total they waited almost 20 minutes? 

I think she was rude and really a bit unwise to say anything to a customer after a 4 minute delay.  The only reason I am even asking about how long she may have thought she was waiting because it seems so bizarre to make a fuss over 4 minutes.

I had wondered about that too. However, when I asked him, he said that he got there at 1, she invited him in to her office and then I arrived just a couple of minutes afterwards. He was kind of shocked that I had been interrogated like that as well and the only real explanation he could come up with was that was her way of joking with me...

haha okay then, I'm well and truly stumped as well.  What a strange reaction!