DH and financial advisor were talking casually about DH's work. I sat down, they finished their conversation, and before I had the chance to say anything, the financial advisor looked squarely at me and said "So...you're late. Your poor husband got here on time and didn't know what to do or where you were. I went ahead and invited him in. What were you doing? Why were you late?"
I was stunned and flabbergasted. I could feel my face turning red. I stammered that I had just come from work and the scanner wasn't working properly which is why I got held up.
Rereading the OP, I'm struck by the fact that, once the OP arrived, the FA finished her conversation with DH, chastised the OP with several sentences, and then waited for the OP to answer her questions--before getting down to business. All of those things combined could have easily taken 4 minutes or so, which were wasted at the direction of the FA. So if they were 8
minutes late getting started with the real business, half of that was the FA's fault. If she was really concerned with staying on time, she should have just gotten down to business right away, and then at the end, if there was time (even as the OP and her DH were pushing back their chairs and standing up), she could have said, "By the way, I'm scheduled really tightly, and I need to start things exactly on time in the future."
So count me as those who think she was trying to make a joke, and it failed utterly. Or, it was a "joke" but also a vent for her irritation at the OP being late--like she was mildly annoyed, so she tried to turn it into an over-the-top joke that pointed out the lateness to the OP, rather than saying, more professionally, "I would appreciate you being on time in the future." I would find it very off-putting to be chastised that way, even as a joke. I would rather someone like an FA be straight-forward with me about their concerns, rather than exaggerating and joking--I'm going to an FA because I need advice about some important stuff that I can't figure out on my own, so I'd like things to be friendly and tactful, but ultimately honest and plain-spoken. If me being four minutes late this one time is honestly a problem, please just tell me that. I might give her another chance if she'd never acted that way before, but if it were easy to switch to a new FA, I might just do that instead.
I do think that late is late; but I think reasonable people give small grace periods (<5min) when it isn't a habit with someone. Also, it sounds to me like this wasn't a situation where other people were going to be put out because the OP was late. If the FA had another appointment at 1:30pm (say), then she would be justified in saying, "I'm sorry, we're a bit pressed for time now, so perhaps you could discuss these options at home and let me know which you want, or make another appointment to ask me questions later." In other words she could have hurried certain things along or tabled things for another appointment, in order to keep her own schedule on track--that would be the natural consequence for the OP of being late, if the lateness truly impacted the FA's ability to do her job.