General Etiquette > Life...in general

Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6

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JenJay:
I would contact her in whatever way you're comfortable and tell her that it makes your DH extremely uncomfortable for her to tell everyone that she has a crush on him, that she enjoys his workouts, etc. and you'd both appreciate it if she'd stop. That may solve the problem right there.

Otherwise, since she's the one telling everyone what a big crush she has on your DH I don't think it's gossip to mention it. I'd probably say "Bessie is a nice lady but, because of her aforementioned crush on DH, we've had to set some boundaries." Then smile and change the subject.

lowspark:
I think you might want to at least tell Bessie that her comments make you uncomfortable. Or I should ammend that to say, tell her that her comments make both you and DH uncomfortable. You're trying to communicate that to her in a few different ways but the message isn't sinking in so be direct.

Bessie, please don't make that kind of comments about DH anymore. It makes both of us uncomfortable.

No rudeness or snarkiness or anything. Just a simple direct statement.

In other words, what JenJay said as I was typing.

Nebraska Jones:
I was working out at the gym alone and this older gentleman came up to me and just started talking about my husband.  I finally asked how he knew me and he said he recognized me solely from my pictures on DH's Facebook.   ??? 

As life often goes of course DH and I ended up joining an organization that he is a member of.  We can't manage to go to one meeting without this man telling DH how much his friends and he look forward to seeing me at the gym working out.  They just LOOOOVEE it and it's a big treat for them.

Even though DH and I both respond cooly it is still brought up every time and makes me quite uncomfortable.  He also introduces us to others as his "good friends."  Since then we have both defended him on Facebook but this seems to have made no difference to him.

I feel like if I posted what is above that some of the posts I would have received would be quite different than some that the OP got.

I don't think it's fair to make the OP feel as though her or her husband are over reacting (especially since DH is not a fan of this behavior).  I personally find it creepy that Bessie never met the DH but went through enough of his pictures on FB to immediately recognize him in public. 

TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: Nebraska Jones on January 25, 2013, 12:15:39 PM ---I feel like if I posted what is above that some of the posts I would have received would be quite different than some that the OP got.

I don't think it's fair to make the OP feel as though her or her husband are over reacting (especially since DH is not a fan of this behavior).  I personally find it creepy that Bessie never met the DH but went through enough of his pictures on FB to immediately recognize him in public.

--- End quote ---

My response would have been the same.  I didn't really see anyone say the OP and her DH are overreacting but rather that their reaction is not getting them the results they want (for Bessie to stop) and is causing problems for them (others commenting not on Bessie's behavior but on the OP's and her DH's). 

MissManager:

--- Quote from: weeblewobble on January 25, 2013, 11:47:26 AM ---You make a good point.  She's never touched DH, particularly after the first meeting in which she went for a hug and he deflected it into a handshake. She seems to understand the physical boundaries we've established.  And I guess I'm seeing this from my POV, which would be, "Hey, I've made the same joke every time I see them and they've NEVER laughed.  Maybe I should stop making that joke."  

I don't think I want to laugh about it, though, because I'm afraid it would just encourage her.

--- End quote ---

I'd probably make a comment related to that next time your friends wonder whats going on. "She makes the same joke everytime we see her and its just gotten tired" then bean dip.

Without knowing the full background, which I'm assuming you don't want to go into during a casual conversation, I can see how some people would think you were being dramatic if you said "I just don't like her oogling my husband at the gym."**

**Not my opinion. If it makes you uncomfortable, it makes you uncomfortable, and that's the bottom line. 

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