Author Topic: Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6  (Read 16775 times)

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Raintree

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Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6
« Reply #105 on: February 11, 2013, 01:54:22 AM »
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Why is it that a woman interested in a younger man must be lampooned as predatory and desperate while a man doing the same thing gets high fives?

He doesn't. He's called a creepy old fart. (Interested is one thing, as long as cues to back off are taken; obnoxious comments and creepy behaviour is labelled in the negative for both genders).

strawbabies

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Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6
« Reply #106 on: February 11, 2013, 09:36:05 AM »
Why is it that a woman interested in a younger man must be lampooned as predatory and desperate while a man doing the same thing gets high fives?
Actually my FIL (who is almost 70) runs a website full of pictures of women in their early 20s posing in bikinis.  I think it's pathetic and gross.

dawbs

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Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6
« Reply #107 on: February 11, 2013, 09:48:26 AM »
He handled that really well, and it was smart of him to leave you out of it so she didn't do the "Oh WW must be threatened by my flirting with her husband!" thing. I hope you're both able to enjoy the meeting!

Well, I coached him a bit about that part because his original idea was to say, "You're making my wife uncomfortable." I had to explain to him how the female mind worked and how "Weeblewobble is threatened" might come up.  I explained this would just amp up the drama and could stretch the situation out.  His response: "Women are scary and complicated."   :)

It's also the perception of power.
We've had 'harassment'-y issues come up where  work.
I explain to my employees that I want/need to be kept abreast of all issues.  I also have explained that they *NEED* to be the person who says "that is inappropriate"--if I march myself over there and say "quit asking the employee out, it's inappropriate", then tomorrow, when my back is turned, the activites continue. 

It'll continue because "big mean Dawbs isn't looking, and, really she just wants to destroy this special love we have", "But YOU like it, only your boss Dawbs doesn't like it, right?", and "It'll be our little secret".

The person who addresses the harassment is the person seen as empowered to stop it.  So the person receiving the harassment, should to be the person who ends the harassment.

(the moment the worker tells someone to knock it off, I'm there the moment after.  And I come down like a ton of bricks.  But it works better if the worker says it first)

TurtleDove

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Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6
« Reply #108 on: February 11, 2013, 10:22:18 AM »
It's also the perception of power.
We've had 'harassment'-y issues come up where  work.
I explain to my employees that I want/need to be kept abreast of all issues.  I also have explained that they *NEED* to be the person who says "that is inappropriate"--if I march myself over there and say "quit asking the employee out, it's inappropriate", then tomorrow, when my back is turned, the activites continue. 

It'll continue because "big mean Dawbs isn't looking, and, really she just wants to destroy this special love we have", "But YOU like it, only your boss Dawbs doesn't like it, right?", and "It'll be our little secret".

The person who addresses the harassment is the person seen as empowered to stop it.  So the person receiving the harassment, should to be the person who ends the harassment.

(the moment the worker tells someone to knock it off, I'm there the moment after.  And I come down like a ton of bricks.  But it works better if the worker says it first)

This is very wise.

weeblewobble

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Re: Do you say, "she behaves inappropriately towards my husband?" UPDATE pg6
« Reply #109 on: February 11, 2013, 12:58:36 PM »
But that's not what she did.  She repeatedly tried to claim a much closer relationship, she studied the OP's FB photos, and she repeatedly openly oogled and harassed the OP's DH about his physique.

If genders were reversed, I doubt people would "high five" the guy or compare him to a celebrity positively.  In fact earlier in the thread many people even pointed out if the genders were reversed this behavior would be a bigger, worse issue to most.

Exactly my thoughts!

I hardly think there was a lot of "double standard making the woman look worse than it would have been if the gender roles were reversed" was going on here...
The problem was not her gender, nor her age. It was her behavior.

THIS.