Your Name

[Thipu1]

As a side note, my son also has an uncle with the same first name.  My poor child is going to be forever known as "Baby David".  He's currently 2, so this is OK, but I'm sure he'll hate it once he becomes a teenager.  How do you get people to quit calling you by a childhood nickname?

Why does he have to be Baby David, can't he just go by David Surname, or even David first letter of surname in family situations?

We had this sort of thing happen in my family.  For some reason, a name I'll say is  Jacob was very popular. As a result, we had 'Jacob', 'Young Jacob' and 'Little Jacob'.  Now that 'Little Jacob' is 6' 5" and a grandfather, the whole thing seems absurd. 

[gmatoy]

I go by a nickname. I have made an issue at my doctor's office about them using my given name instead of using my preferred nickname. Why? Well, I previously found that in a medical crisis, I don't respond to my given name. So, as I was losing consciousness, I wasn't responding to them because,"That isn't me!" It is now written on the front of my files right next to my "allergies that will kill."

[Arrynne]

As a side note, my son also has an uncle with the same first name.  My poor child is going to be forever known as "Baby David".  He's currently 2, so this is OK, but I'm sure he'll hate it once he becomes a teenager.  How do you get people to quit calling you by a childhood nickname?

Why does he have to be Baby David, can't he just go by David Surname, or even David first letter of surname in family situations?

He doesn't have to be "Baby David".  His cousins started calling him that.  I've been gently nudging them to use "David Myth" or "Myth David" if they feel the need to differentiate. I would have thought calling their dad "Dad" would be enough.

[Yvaine]

A woman I am loosely related to once decided to start calling me by my "given" name instead of the nickname version.  She insisted that it was disrecpectful to my parents to use anything other than the name they gave me.  I guess she didn't realize I knew that she went by her middle name and that I knew what her "given" name was. 

She is known as Joann and I answered. "Maybe you're right about that, Hagatha."  She quit doing it.

I've got a friend whose name is not all that unusual but was sort of cumbersome when she was a little girl. Say her name's Evangeline and her whole family only called her Angie the first five years of her life. She went off to kindergarten and had a very religious teacher who thought that nicknames were called "nick"names after Old Nick, the devil, and so it was Satanic to use a nickname. She insisted on only calling my friend Evangeline. Trouble was...Evangeline hadn't quite realized yet that her name was Evangeline, and she was always getting in trouble for not answering to it! 

[snowdragon]

I have an aunt that has a name similar to mine. With my family I am carole or carole anne.  She is carol or carolyn. For a long time I was refered to as cousin carole, or carole-with-an-e.  Then my cousin Lisa had her first 3 and the kids started calling me simply "cousin", they thought that was the first part of my name and it took them years to realize that "cousin" was a title rather than a name...they are now College and High School Aged and still call me either Cuz or Cousin. I love it -- Form them.  I worked with the oldest at a summer camp one year and the boss started calling me "Hey,Cuz this and Cuz, that" I hated it from him.  I finally told him "Tim calls me "Cuz" because I am, in fact, his cousin. You are not my cousin-please do not presume a familial relationship." He grudgingly backed off. It can be done with bosses, too.
   

[mmswm]

Then there's my sister's friend, who, when she was 4, replied to a person who asked that her name was "dammitjulieann".  It seems that my sister's friend was quite, um, precocious  as a child.

[Figgie]

My spouse deals with this issue pretty much constantly.  Let's say that his legal name is Daniel and he prefers to be called Dan.  People are continually calling him Danny even though he has never, ever used that particular name.

He corrects and re-corrects people again and again and again and gets told that he is too sensitive and should just accept being called Danny.  The problem is, he doesn't even hear people when they call him Danny.

I will never, ever understand why any adult would argue with someone about that person's name preferences!   But after almost 60 years of my spouse having to deal with this, I've come to realize that some people just don't want to have to remember name preferences.  And that almost always, these are the same people who get the most indignant when someone makes a mistake with their names.

[citadelle]

Many times on forums such as ehell, I will see posters referred to by shortened versions of their forum names. For example, "citadelle" would be shortened to "cita". Other forum posters may pick up that term and refer to the poster as "cita" on a regular basis. I am now wondering about that practice, and whether it is simply the nicknaming process happening on the internetz, or if it is overfamiliar. I guess the answer is probably up to the poster in question! But I have never seen it addressed by anyone asking for it to stop.

[Nikko-chan]

Similar things have happened in the apartment complex where I used to live, regarding the "big" and "little" titles.

There were two women in the complex (one at either end) named.... Enid we will say. The Enid that lived closest to me was quite tall. So she was known as "Big Enid". The Enid at the other end of the complex was very short, so we called her "Little Enid". This went on for years until Big Enid and her husband Bob moved out of the complex.

The nicknames were used in an affectionate manner and both women had no problems with it, so those nicknames sometimes can be okay, if both parties are okay with it.

[floridamom]

A woman I am loosely related to once decided to start calling me by my "given" name instead of the nickname version.  She insisted that it was disrecpectful to my parents to use anything other than the name they gave me.  I guess she didn't realize I knew that she went by her middle name and that I knew what her "given" name was. 

She is known as Joann and I answered. "Maybe you're right about that, Hagatha."  She quit doing it.

My exhusband was like that.  He wanted my family to call me by my given name and not my nickname! I found out later about it   Sadly, we are going thru a bitter custody battle but what is sorta funny is he has been addressing some emails to me in my nickname thinking it would bother me.  Jokes on him, it doesn't and I started using my nickname again.  I posted earlier that my name is Suzanne and went by Sue in high school and college

[floridamom]

Then there's my sister's friend, who, when she was 4, replied to a person who asked that her name was "dammitjulieann".  It seems that my sister's friend was quite, um, precocious  as a child.

LMAO!!  I think that is too funny!

[CakeEater]

From the other perspective, I'm a bit uncomfrotable using a nickname if I don't know the person well, or if I wasn't there at the creation of the nickname. I worked with a woman whose preferred name was a kind-of mash up between her first and last name and I could never work out if that was something her friends called her (I wasn't really a friend) or if it was something she was happy for anyone to call her.

Or often I'll meet someone who will be introduced to me by their good friend and it's never clear if the nickname is what the person prefers, or if that's just what their friend calls them. It feels like I'm trying to be closer to the person than I am. If the person introdued themselves as Tom, Dan or Shelley, and it was clear that they prefer that name, I'd have no problem.

Then there was a sports teammate who was introduced as [slang name for female anatomy] and that's really what people called him. I never could. I actually didn't care if that was his preferred name - I called him by his given name.

[Nikko-chan]

From the other perspective, I'm a bit uncomfrotable using a nickname if I don't know the person well, or if I wasn't there at the creation of the nickname. I worked with a woman whose preferred name was a kind-of mash up between her first and last name and I could never work out if that was something her friends called her (I wasn't really a friend) or if it was something she was happy for anyone to call her.

Or often I'll meet someone who will be introduced to me by their good friend and it's never clear if the nickname is what the person prefers, or if that's just what their friend calls them. It feels like I'm trying to be closer to the person than I am. If the person introdued themselves as Tom, Dan or Shelley, and it was clear that they prefer that name, I'd have no problem.

Then there was a sports teammate who was introduced as [slang name for female anatomy] and that's really what people called him. I never could. I actually didn't care if that was his preferred name - I called him by his given name.

I agree with you here. In order to get out of situations like the first one I would probably say something like "Oh do you prefer for people to call you "Nickname"  or would you like me to call you "Given Name"?"

My sister's nickname for me is Cricket. Only she and her fiance get to call me that... and the only reason he gets to call me that is because he came up with it! Apparently I am "small and noisy"

So I myself have had to employ the "Actually, just call me Nikko," a few times, when people have tried to call me Cricket. They usually back off and call me by my given name

[mmswm]

My mother and my old pediatrician still call me "May".  I hate it.  But these are people whom I've known for a very long time.  I tolerate it.  A few times, people have heard them call me by that and ask if I prefer that.  I've never had a problem with people respecting that.  My mother gets to call me that because she gave me life.  Dr. G. gets to call me that because, well, he's Dr. G.  I still see have occasion to interact with him because he and his wife are friends with my parents, plus he's my children't pediatrician now, so I just tolerate it.

[Sharnita]

As a teacher, there were honestly limits to what I could do/remember.  If William wanted to be called Will or Bill that worked because when I went tinto the computer to enter grades or attedence those nicknames were close enough for my brain to connect the two.  However, if he wanted to go by the nickname Alf, it just wouldn't work.  There was no obvious link and the legal name is what I am entering all my documentation under.  Maybe if I taught elementary and had a class load of 20 or even 30, but in a secondary setting where I might get 150 kids at a time, 300 or more a year It was just too difficult, at least for me.