General Etiquette > general

Your Name

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--- Quote from: SPuck on January 25, 2013, 12:32:43 PM ---
--- Quote from: Aryanna on January 25, 2013, 12:28:09 PM ---I was watching the same MF episode, and at the end I had to laugh and think oh that poor kid... haha.

--- End quote ---

That was what I was thinking about in particular, what if the person who insists on calling you the name is someone you generally respect, like a grandparent, or can't argue with directly, like your superior or teacher?

--- End quote ---

Oh it happens, often. I graduated from a smallish University a couple years ago. Even though we had very small class sizes, and I was sure to make my name clear to each professor at the beginning of each term, and signed my papers as "Lou" only one prof ever called me by that name. I put up with it, but it was frustrating. Especially when it continued to happen after I straightened out my name issues on the attendance and marking sheets. The damage had already been done, they knew me as my "proper" name.... Mary.

eta... Love to know what other people have done, and if anyone ever fixed their name with someone who insisted on calling them something else.

I would keep correcting them until it finally got through. The opposite actually happens to me. My last name is a more common female first name than my actual  name, so I frequently get mistakenly called by my last name. From my experience, if you don't address it right away, and persistently, that person is going to keep calling you by the wrong name.

If someone tries calling me by a nickname that I don't go by, I'm usually tempted to ignore them until they start calling me by my correct name.

My name is John Tango*. I'm not, nor have I ever been known as JT, Johnnie, or Jonathan, so if you're calling one of those names, you must be talking to someone else, right?

*Not really, but it's a convenient example.

Our son has a name that is commonly shortened and we used the short name for him, but then people would try to call him by the baby name, the one with the 'y' on the end.

By age 5, he had learned to politely say that he was called the shorter name. His kindergarden teacher said it wouldn't work, but she would try. We never had a problem since then. Thank you Ms. Teacher!

I've often wondered how a 5 year old could politely correct people and be respected when I hear of so many adults that seem hesitant about it - not just here, but in real life, too.

The parents in our neighborhood taught their children to call adults by their first names. (There have been several threads about that.) I hate that, but if it was the custom, I guess I couldn't really pass judgement, except that I worked at the school most of the children were attending. It was no problem for me to remind mothers that I would prefer the children call me 'Mrs.', but of course explained why so I wouldn't ruffle any feathers.

 If it matters to you, just do it courteously. It usually works.

I had a friend who became an aide to a famous, elderly congressman.  (There is a funny coincidence to the topic here in that he had previously been a senator, and per protocol the correct thing to call him was "Senator" even though he was then a representative.)  Anyway, the aide's name is a Hebrew name with a close English equivalent -- think Avraham for Abraham.  He never, ever went by Abraham or Abe.  The Senator just couldn't get it right, despite what I am sure were only good intentions -- he just kept calling him Abraham or Abe.  Finally, one day when there was an appropriate moment, Avraham said to him, "Senator, the people closest to me in my life call me Avraham instead of Abraham.  I would be so honored if you would do that, too."  The Senator was charmed, and he never got it wrong again!

(A great example of getting the job done by asking for a favor, help, or a courtesy instead of pointing out why you are right and the other person is wrong.)


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