General Etiquette > general

Question/s re: friends

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OP: Thanks for the advice - I've been off line for a while due to power loss. Another mutual friend mentioned he was keen for a catch-up this weekend because it was his birthday, and at the time, I was without power and with a flooded house, but still wanted to make sure we did something for his birthday. I suggested perhaps the "friend" I was talking about organise things because of this (and the birthday boy does a fly in-fly out job and doesn't really have time to do it). Silence was the response. Fortunately another friend came though, and tried to organise things, but the "friend" has still been very obstructive - the suggestion was dinner and a movie, and even though we were all against seeing a particular movie, including the birthday boy who suggested a decent plan with a movie he wanted to see, she was adamant on her own agenda until everyone gave in. And still inserted the "I guess I'll have to wait around for you guys" comment. She hadn't made an effort with me for over a month. The event is tomorrow - any suggestions?? And I have desperately tried for 18 months to expand my social circle - if you have any suggestions how I can achieve this as well, I would be really appreciative

Seriously?  You are all going to see a movie none of you want to because she pushed hard?

I suggest you all tell her that you are going to see the movie the birthday boy wants to see and it's a shame she'll miss the movie but at least you'll all get together for dinner.

I agree with the post above. It should be the majority rules here. Let her know the movie plans have changed and you all will not be seeing the one she wants.

She is being rewarded when she has a tantrum and everyone gives in to her plans. You must learn to stop giving in.  She keeps pushing you all to do what she wants because her tantrums work every time.

You might just stop including her in these outings. If that is not possible, make the plans, non-changeable concrete plans. Then invite her and when she throws a fit and tries to change the plans say "I'm afraid that's not possible. We will miss seeing you this time."

She over rode the bday boy's preference and you guys gave in? I don't understand. I feel really bad for the bday boy.  You have said she is more important then he is, even on his bday.  You guys should have just said that if she wouldn't enjoy the evening as planned then she could join you some other time.

And as long as you cater to her you'll have a hard time widening your friend circle because others won't put up with it.

Wow, she's pretty obnoxious isn't she?  I agree with PP, go see the movie the birthdayboy wants to see and let Debbie Downer stay home!


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