Author Topic: Instant justice stories  (Read 11281 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #75 on: August 19, 2014, 03:52:15 PM »
* Generally, the dog would have just licked them to death.

Ah!  The dreaded dog slobber of death! :o

"I'm melting...I'm melting"

Into a helpless puddle of gooey love!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

faithlessone

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #76 on: August 19, 2014, 04:23:49 PM »
I once witnessed one of my fellow university students (on my course), in the campus library, crowing over a piece of coursework that he had apparently got very good marks in. He turned to his friends and, boasting in a stage whisper, said that he'd copied half of the essay from one of his friends at another university.

Suddenly, out of the stacks, emerged our Head of Department, who was very interested to hear such a claim! Boasting Student was put on academic probation immediately, and was expelled before the end of the year.

Student Darwinism and Instant Justice in one sentence!

ladyknight1

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #77 on: Yesterday at 08:43:39 AM »
Monday was the first day of school at my university. I did not go on campus until yesterday. Instant justice involved new students not looking up, walking into other people, and getting lost because they looked at their phones, not the buildings/paths/signs/maps.

Sad, and comical at the same time.

darling

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #78 on: Yesterday at 09:15:14 AM »
* Generally, the dog would have just licked them to death.

Ah!  The dreaded dog slobber of death! :o

"I'm melting...I'm melting"

Into a helpless puddle of gooey love!

Anyone else hearing, "Chopper, sic b@lls!!!" ?

Hillia

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #79 on: Yesterday at 09:22:10 AM »
DH works for a small company that manufactures and repairs a particular item.  There were two men who performed the final QA step for the item, as well as a very specific support task which requires a specific set of skills not commonly found.  One of the men, who had been there for several years, took a dislike to the other, who was just hired a few months ago.  He complained, badmouthed, and slandered his coworker until the managers trumped up a bunch of junk and 'laid him off' on the pretext that there wasn't enough work (completely untrue).  A week after they laid off New Guy, Old Guy resigned.  Now there is no one to do the QA tasks or the specialized support task, and they'll be scrambling to find coverage.

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goldilocks

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #80 on: Yesterday at 11:30:14 AM »
WARNING:   Rather icky.

Robber tries to break into local chicken fast food place.   By going in through the ceiling.  Highlight to see rest:     Falls and lands in a very large vat of very hot oil.


Jocelyn

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #81 on: Yesterday at 02:47:40 PM »
I was driving with coworkers, and we stopped at the bottom of an interstate off ramp. This ramp is notorious for having a very long green light in the other direction, so we had a long time to sit. Just as it turned green for us, I looked to the left and saw a car coming...it breezed through its red light.
The policeman who was in the lane to my right (and thus blocked from the view of Mr. Redlight Runner) peeled out after him. Everyone in my car had to sit through another red light, but we were still laughing when the light turned green for us again.

Kimblee

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #82 on: Yesterday at 04:40:59 PM »
He's lucky that goose didn't do worse! You threaten their little ones, and they can get quite nasty!

Yup. I thought my gander killed someone once. (He didn't, the guy was fine, except for a severely wounded pride and some bruises) His goose had a beautiful pack of 10 two day old goslings and my mom was having a family get together, unfortunately with my jerk of a cousin. (A 35+ y.o. man, not a child) Jerk was kicking my goslings across the grass as they passed him and despite being told to stop, ignored us and flung a glass beer bottle at a gosling, stunning it. I ran for my gosling, and Gander ran for Jerk, "goosing" in in the front and when he went down leaping onto him and in a flurry biting and beating him with his wings. My mom yelled at me to call off my gander...

Or she says she did anyway. I was making sure I still had ten live goslings. I got the gander off, but not until fifteen minutes later, by then he had bloodied Jerk's nose, attacked three more cousins who tried to interrupt his teaching Jerk a lesson, then pooped on Jerk's chest and came when I called him. After Jerk fled into the house, Gander went to investigate if he could mooch hot dog buns from the little kids.

Jerk threatened to go "wring that bird's neck" and I told him he could try, but best case he'd get beaten up by a Goode again, worst case he would succeed and I'd call the police about him drinking while on probation. He challenged me so I called the police anyway.

My geese were weirdos. Most geese are super aggressive with kids, but both of my adults loved kids and other than occasionally snatching food from their hands were very patient with them and would endure rough petting, tail pulling and screaming. They even went swimming with the kids in the stock pond, although I tried to tell Mom not to let the kids swim in there. I miss having my geese, they were such cool pets.

Kimblee

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #83 on: Yesterday at 04:46:36 PM »
And even a barnyard goose being moved from pen A to pen B can take offense at being picked up and moved and decide to whack the holy hell out of your neck with the leading edge of her wing.....  I talked oddly for a few days after that.  It hurt like stink!  Waterfowl go for blood!

Ow! I never got hit in the neck but I did get a wing to the leg once when my female thought she wasn't getting enough attention. I bruised like I'd been hit with a strap.

VorFemme

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #84 on: Yesterday at 08:46:43 PM »
I was driving with coworkers, and we stopped at the bottom of an interstate off ramp. This ramp is notorious for having a very long green light in the other direction, so we had a long time to sit. Just as it turned green for us, I looked to the left and saw a car coming...it breezed through its red light.
The policeman who was in the lane to my right (and thus blocked from the view of Mr. Redlight Runner) peeled out after him. Everyone in my car had to sit through another red light, but we were still laughing when the light turned green for us again.

Hey - a free show while you waited for the next green light!  Amusing!  With a moral to the story, too - don't run red lights when you can't see who's on the other side of the other cars at the red light!  It might be a police car...or for teenagers, a parent who takes the car keys away from you, even if there wasn't a ticket involved!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #85 on: Yesterday at 08:49:42 PM »
He's lucky that goose didn't do worse! You threaten their little ones, and they can get quite nasty!

Yup. I thought my gander killed someone once. (He didn't, the guy was fine, except for a severely wounded pride and some bruises) His goose had a beautiful pack of 10 two day old goslings and my mom was having a family get together, unfortunately with my jerk of a cousin. (A 35+ y.o. man, not a child) Jerk was kicking my goslings across the grass as they passed him and despite being told to stop, ignored us and flung a glass beer bottle at a gosling, stunning it. I ran for my gosling, and Gander ran for Jerk, "goosing" in in the front and when he went down leaping onto him and in a flurry biting and beating him with his wings. My mom yelled at me to call off my gander...

Or she says she did anyway. I was making sure I still had ten live goslings. I got the gander off, but not until fifteen minutes later, by then he had bloodied Jerk's nose, attacked three more cousins who tried to interrupt his teaching Jerk a lesson, then pooped on Jerk's chest and came when I called him. After Jerk fled into the house, Gander went to investigate if he could mooch hot dog buns from the little kids.

Jerk threatened to go "wring that bird's neck" and I told him he could try, but best case he'd get beaten up by a Goode again, worst case he would succeed and I'd call the police about him drinking while on probation. He challenged me so I called the police anyway.

My geese were weirdos. Most geese are super aggressive with kids, but both of my adults loved kids and other than occasionally snatching food from their hands were very patient with them and would endure rough petting, tail pulling and screaming. They even went swimming with the kids in the stock pond, although I tried to tell Mom not to let the kids swim in there. I miss having my geese, they were such cool pets.


What happened after the police came?

Kimblee

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #86 on: Yesterday at 09:47:02 PM »
He's lucky that goose didn't do worse! You threaten their little ones, and they can get quite nasty!

Yup. I thought my gander killed someone once. (He didn't, the guy was fine, except for a severely wounded pride and some bruises) His goose had a beautiful pack of 10 two day old goslings and my mom was having a family get together, unfortunately with my jerk of a cousin. (A 35+ y.o. man, not a child) Jerk was kicking my goslings across the grass as they passed him and despite being told to stop, ignored us and flung a glass beer bottle at a gosling, stunning it. I ran for my gosling, and Gander ran for Jerk, "goosing" in in the front and when he went down leaping onto him and in a flurry biting and beating him with his wings. My mom yelled at me to call off my gander...

Or she says she did anyway. I was making sure I still had ten live goslings. I got the gander off, but not until fifteen minutes later, by then he had bloodied Jerk's nose, attacked three more cousins who tried to interrupt his teaching Jerk a lesson, then pooped on Jerk's chest and came when I called him. After Jerk fled into the house, Gander went to investigate if he could mooch hot dog buns from the little kids.

Jerk threatened to go "wring that bird's neck" and I told him he could try, but best case he'd get beaten up by a Goode again, worst case he would succeed and I'd call the police about him drinking while on probation. He challenged me so I called the police anyway.

My geese were weirdos. Most geese are super aggressive with kids, but both of my adults loved kids and other than occasionally snatching food from their hands were very patient with them and would endure rough petting, tail pulling and screaming. They even went swimming with the kids in the stock pond, although I tried to tell Mom not to let the kids swim in there. I miss having my geese, they were such cool pets.


What happened after the police came?

Jerk was arrested for violating the terms of his probation, family fussed at me for awhile about daring to call the police on faaaaaaamily and it blew over after a few weeks of me refusing to be sorry. (I had more reasons than just my goose, he also punched his developmentally disabled brother, screamed obscenities at his daughter and her newborn baby and tried to drive away from the house drunk, except he lost his keys when the goose got him and his daughter wasn't admitting she had them.)

Jerk got out on parole about three months later, and learned to pipe down when I said I'd call the police on him. I cut him and some other toxic family out of my life a year later when my mom died.

LadyDyani

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #87 on: Yesterday at 10:20:23 PM »
He's lucky that goose didn't do worse! You threaten their little ones, and they can get quite nasty!

Yup. I thought my gander killed someone once. (He didn't, the guy was fine, except for a severely wounded pride and some bruises) His goose had a beautiful pack of 10 two day old goslings and my mom was having a family get together, unfortunately with my jerk of a cousin. (A 35+ y.o. man, not a child) Jerk was kicking my goslings across the grass as they passed him and despite being told to stop, ignored us and flung a glass beer bottle at a gosling, stunning it. I ran for my gosling, and Gander ran for Jerk, "goosing" in in the front and when he went down leaping onto him and in a flurry biting and beating him with his wings. My mom yelled at me to call off my gander...

Or she says she did anyway. I was making sure I still had ten live goslings. I got the gander off, but not until fifteen minutes later, by then he had bloodied Jerk's nose, attacked three more cousins who tried to interrupt his teaching Jerk a lesson, then pooped on Jerk's chest and came when I called him. After Jerk fled into the house, Gander went to investigate if he could mooch hot dog buns from the little kids.

Jerk threatened to go "wring that bird's neck" and I told him he could try, but best case he'd get beaten up by a Goode again, worst case he would succeed and I'd call the police about him drinking while on probation. He challenged me so I called the police anyway.

My geese were weirdos. Most geese are super aggressive with kids, but both of my adults loved kids and other than occasionally snatching food from their hands were very patient with them and would endure rough petting, tail pulling and screaming. They even went swimming with the kids in the stock pond, although I tried to tell Mom not to let the kids swim in there. I miss having my geese, they were such cool pets.


What happened after the police came?

Jerk was arrested for violating the terms of his probation, family fussed at me for awhile about daring to call the police on faaaaaaamily and it blew over after a few weeks of me refusing to be sorry. (I had more reasons than just my goose, he also punched his developmentally disabled brother, screamed obscenities at his daughter and her newborn baby and tried to drive away from the house drunk, except he lost his keys when the goose got him and his daughter wasn't admitting she had them.)

Jerk got out on parole about three months later, and learned to pipe down when I said I'd call the police on him. I cut him and some other toxic family out of my life a year later when my mom died.
Understandable. I haven't spoken to anyone from my mom's side of the family since she died. It hasn't stopped me from having to set a few other relatives straight from the lies they've told.


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Cherry91

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Re: Instant justice stories
« Reply #88 on: Today at 04:12:29 AM »
He's lucky that goose didn't do worse! You threaten their little ones, and they can get quite nasty!

Yup. I thought my gander killed someone once. (He didn't, the guy was fine, except for a severely wounded pride and some bruises) His goose had a beautiful pack of 10 two day old goslings and my mom was having a family get together, unfortunately with my jerk of a cousin. (A 35+ y.o. man, not a child) Jerk was kicking my goslings across the grass as they passed him and despite being told to stop, ignored us and flung a glass beer bottle at a gosling, stunning it. I ran for my gosling, and Gander ran for Jerk, "goosing" in in the front and when he went down leaping onto him and in a flurry biting and beating him with his wings. My mom yelled at me to call off my gander...

Or she says she did anyway. I was making sure I still had ten live goslings. I got the gander off, but not until fifteen minutes later, by then he had bloodied Jerk's nose, attacked three more cousins who tried to interrupt his teaching Jerk a lesson, then pooped on Jerk's chest and came when I called him. After Jerk fled into the house, Gander went to investigate if he could mooch hot dog buns from the little kids.

Jerk threatened to go "wring that bird's neck" and I told him he could try, but best case he'd get beaten up by a Goode again, worst case he would succeed and I'd call the police about him drinking while on probation. He challenged me so I called the police anyway.

My geese were weirdos. Most geese are super aggressive with kids, but both of my adults loved kids and other than occasionally snatching food from their hands were very patient with them and would endure rough petting, tail pulling and screaming. They even went swimming with the kids in the stock pond, although I tried to tell Mom not to let the kids swim in there. I miss having my geese, they were such cool pets.

If I'd found one of my cousins hurting baby animals (or animals at all) they'd have probably preferred getting beaten up by the swan to the vengeance I'd have rained down upon them. Fortunately most of my family are animal lovers...