Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 194486 times)

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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1875 on: October 23, 2014, 08:35:39 PM »
Dear Shark-Cat,

Just because the finger is ham-flavored, does not mean you should chomp on it hard enough that your top and bottom teeth break skin.  That will result in the distribution of ham snacks being halted, swearing, and a nice doctor visit* for the distributor of ham snacks.  I may have fun pictures for the gross-out thread.  I will almost certainly have fun antibiotics stories for the gross-out thread.  No amount of apology cuddles will make me less mad at you until the finger is healed.

Not-so-much-love,
The injured human.

*Nice, because I was back at work in one hour and twenty minutes including making the follow-up appointment and picking up my medication from the pharmacy.

Twik

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1876 on: October 24, 2014, 10:24:52 AM »
Dear Spencer,

I visited your uncle last week, and met his cat, Murphy.

Murphy sat on my lap for nearly half an hour, as I petted him. You know what he *didn't* do?

He didn't bite me. He didn't scratch me. In fact, he made no move to draw blood.

So different from someone who will remain nameless, who can pierce skin even while purring happily.

I just may try to switch you out for Murphy if I have to buy too many more bandaids this month.

Signed,

Your reluctant chewtoy.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1877 on: October 24, 2014, 11:18:32 AM »
Dear Shark-cat,

The hairless giants have a saying:  don't bite the hand that feeds you.  This is a good thing to remember because if the hairless one's hand is too injured, she might spill your food and those greedy other cats will eat it before you can.

Domino

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1878 on: October 24, 2014, 02:50:22 PM »
Dear Ghost,

You brought me BABIES!!!! (cue high-pitched squealing noises)


Err, I mean, I don't need any more kittens.  None at all.  At least you didn't put these in the dryer this time (they're about a month old, and in the middle of my back yard of all places.)


Love,

The human

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1879 on: October 24, 2014, 08:11:18 PM »
Try a peach or nectarine pit.  We had one cat that just loved to chase them across the vinyl floor in the kitchen.  When we moved the stove out years later, we found a couple of pits under it.

One of Ms_Celeny's fosters likes to chase ice cubes in her new forever home.  That would work well, too.  Just a little puddle of water that would evapourate on its own, as long as it isn't on wood.
I used to have a cat named Spooky.  Her mother was a black Persian and her father was whatever jumped over the back fence.  Spooky discovered the holiday nut bowl with nuts in their shells.  She decided pecans were the best toys.  She would bring them to us and drop them at our feet, then turn and twitch her little butt.  We had hard wood floors, so those pecans would slide and bounce in odd directions like a football.  Spooky chased them down, picked them up, and dropped them at our feet.  It sounds a lot like playing fetch, but it's not.  This is a cat, not a dog.  We are throwing the pecan for Spooky to chase.  She is not fetching the pecan for us.  It is a fine, but very important distinction in the cat world. >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

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Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1880 on: October 24, 2014, 08:20:51 PM »
Dear Buddy;

In the 1-1/2 years since we rescued you (as a 9 month old kitten), you have turned into a very civilized cat.  We knew you were a feral rescue when we brought you home, so your biting was understandable, but not acceptable.  Now you don't bite, just mouth then lick.  Very nice!  You are so affectionate, a real snuggler.  That's why we named you "Buddy." ;D

I also like the way you use your litter box: Pee in the front right corner, poop in the front left corner.  Always.  So easy to clean up!  Just 2 scoops. :D

However ... you must not bait the dog.  You may think you are playing "black panther, the hunter," but she's part Terriorist.  When you bap her on the head and skiddadle into the other room, she will chase you with intent to do harm.  I don't want to hear another fight like you two got into last night.  I know you started it; I saw you baiting her.  You two never got into a fight like that before!  Why now?  Usually you kids keep each other company and we never see one without the other hanging out close by.  I am reluctant to leave you two alone now.

The Big Pink One Who Feeds GushyFood
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1881 on: October 24, 2014, 11:01:00 PM »

Dear Max:

It was soooo good that you've gotten to like the idea of having a wash. You were wonderful yesterday having a scrub on the slabbed area. You're all fluffy and smell all nice and clean now. Just one point -- slowly sneaking forward one step at a time so you could casually stick your snout in the emergency treat bag was a clever trick. Pity it didn't work.

Dear Sam:

I know you've always enjoyed having a bath, especially under the hose. But I washed you first because you were easier to manage. That doesn't mean you can come back for a second go while I'm washing Max! You were supposed to go and lay on the breezeway and dry gently in the sun, not wriggle your way back in under the hose and shove Max out of the way. Cute as it was, I can't scrub both of you at once, especially with both of you trying to dance around yodelling "me next! me next!"
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

guihong

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1882 on: October 24, 2014, 11:39:32 PM »
Dear Erza, aka Kitten of Doom:

For all that is holy, stop splashing in the water dish like it's a bathtub!  You're spraying water all over and I thought it was a leak in the dishwasher.  I've had to downsize the water to a small plastic dish.

Then you managed to pull it over under the sink, where Momma stepped in it.  You are using up your nine lives, you flipping furball.

The hairless one.



Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1883 on: October 25, 2014, 04:46:56 AM »
Dear Erza, aka Kitten of Doom:

For all that is holy, stop splashing in the water dish like it's a bathtub!  You're spraying water all over and I thought it was a leak in the dishwasher.  I've had to downsize the water to a small plastic dish.

But mu-um, it's fuuuun! (paddles and splashes)

But if you try and bathe me, I will resist to the last claw!
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1884 on: October 29, 2014, 08:47:07 AM »
Dear Mocha,

I know you missed us. You increased your vocalizations by 200% when we came back home. And now you bring us your ribbon on a stick toy so we can play with you. You are very cute.

However, you must stop stalking and pouncing on Harley. He is old. He is 16 1/2 years old. He does not need to be stalked and pounced upon.

Love,

Mom


spookycatlady

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1885 on: October 29, 2014, 09:49:24 AM »
Dear Jetpack,

I know that you love getting chin scratchies and I'm happy to give them to you on command.  I think it's adorable that you want to share your love with your brother and try to rub his chin so he can experience the magic for himself.

I, however,  do not love getting chin scratchies.  At 4:00AM.  Every night for two weeks.

Love,
Fud ladee.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1886 on: October 29, 2014, 10:31:54 AM »
Oh my gosh, "Jetpack" is a *great* name for a cat!
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

spookycatlady

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1887 on: October 29, 2014, 11:29:42 AM »
 ;D Full name: Jetpack Johnson.  And nope, my surname isn't Johnson; he just strikes me as a Johnson.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1888 on: Yesterday at 02:16:00 PM »
Dear Coffee Bean,

You are actually the opposite of coffee, because you make me want to take a nap when you curl up on me for a nap.

Love,

Your human mommy