My multi-cake idea was a HUGE success!

[SoCalVal]

About 2.5 years ago, I started a thread that is now on the wedding site, http://www.weddinghellsbells.com/smf/index.php?topic=76767.msg1806372#msg1806372 (thank God because I thought it had been deleted).  I just wanted to say (and will also post to the original thread) that my idea (to have multiple cakes of different flavors double as centerpieces rather than one big wedding cake) surpassed my hopes for success.  We ended up with nine tables, plus the wedding cake.  Rather than have any of the tables end up with no cake, we ordered an additional two 8" cakes -- all the while I was thinking I was insane for suggesting it and doing it because all I could think was we'd end up with a ton of cake left over.  Nope!  Our guests, even after stuffing themselves with appetizers and a huge dinner buffet, loved the cake idea and freely went from table to table getting slices of each cake.  We ended up with no leftover cake (other than the top layer of our wedding cake, which I saved immediately); we had encouraged our guests to take home cake (we bought small bakery boxes for this purpose).  Even then, most of the cake was eaten at the reception.  We had enough cake for 72-90 normal-sized slices from the table cakes (not the slivers one usually gets at weddings) plus another 15-20 normal slices from the wedding cake, and most of it was eaten before anyone packed up cake to take home.

The only glitch was that, despite telling guests that the table cake cutting would not occur until after the wedding cake cutting (and holding back the cake servers from the tables until right before the wedding cake cutting), there was one table that decided to do it anyway (and it was a table full of four middle-aged to senior adults -- no children poked the cakes; the CHILDREN were perfectly behaved).  Fortunately, I was too busy to care that much and moved on quickly (there was nothing I could do at that point, but I will admit that the behavior left me with a not-so-good first impression since I knew none of these guests).

[CakeEater]

I'm glad it went so well!

I'm on a cake forum where it's widely recognised that if you have different flavours of cake, you'll need more servings because people will often want to try the different flavours available.

If it was me, I wouldn't have cut the cake early, but I think once you put cake in front of people, on their table, you lose a fair bit of control over when it's eaten.

[SoCalVal]

I'm glad it went so well!

I'm on a cake forum where it's widely recognised that if you have different flavours of cake, you'll need more servings because people will often want to try the different flavours available.

If it was me, I wouldn't have cut the cake early, but I think once you put cake in front of people, on their table, you lose a fair bit of control over when it's eaten.

Thanks!  I didn't really think people would still have room for cake after all the food, but they did (which I'm so glad because I dreaded having to head home with tons of cake).

About the premature cake-cutting -- sorry, I wasn't clear.  The guests at that table didn't serve themselves the cake; one of the guests at that table cut a chunk out of the cake from the bottom then tried to downplay what she did after they got caught with their cake cut into prematurely (it was announced both on our FB page and on our wedding website that no table cake-cutting was taking place until after the wedding cake-cutting).  I really don't fault the other five guests at that table, just the one (I described the age range because I wouldn't have expected such behavior from adults, much less older adults; sadly, apparently, one of these adults is a bit of a boor, which I didn't know before DH invited her and is the person DH strongly suspects cut into the cake and is also the person who tried to make light of what happened when I encountered the prematurely cut cake).

Fortunately, I believe our photographer got pictures of all the cakes before this occurred (I hope so, anyway; we'll see when he sends us the pictures).

[cicero]

what a lovely idea and i'm glad it worked out so well.

it sounds like one of those "why didn't anyone think of this sooner?" concepts! i mean, what could be wrong with lotsa cake, right?

[CluelessBride]

I'm glad it went so well!

I'm on a cake forum where it's widely recognised that if you have different flavours of cake, you'll need more servings because people will often want to try the different flavours available.

If it was me, I wouldn't have cut the cake early, but I think once you put cake in front of people, on their table, you lose a fair bit of control over when it's eaten.

Thanks!  I didn't really think people would still have room for cake after all the food, but they did (which I'm so glad because I dreaded having to head home with tons of cake).

About the premature cake-cutting -- sorry, I wasn't clear.  The guests at that table didn't serve themselves the cake; one of the guests at that table cut a chunk out of the cake from the bottom then tried to downplay what she did after they got caught with their cake cut into prematurely (it was announced both on our FB page and on our wedding website that no table cake-cutting was taking place until after the wedding cake-cutting).  I really don't fault the other five guests at that table, just the one (I described the age range because I wouldn't have expected such behavior from adults, much less older adults; sadly, apparently, one of these adults is a bit of a boor, which I didn't know before DH invited her and is the person DH strongly suspects cut into the cake and is also the person who tried to make light of what happened when I encountered the prematurely cut cake).

Fortunately, I believe our photographer got pictures of all the cakes before this occurred (I hope so, anyway; we'll see when he sends us the pictures).

I wonder if the bolded is why it was older people. Well-behaved younger children generally err on the side of waiting until offered or asking if they can have something. But adults typically make that decision themselves. Most weddings I've been to, food/drinks on the table is considered to already have been served - i.e. it is fair game once the reception starts. Although it's true that I've never been to a wedding with cakes on the tables. But I wouldn't expect a guest to have to read a wedding website/face book page for wedding dos and do nots, especially since visiting a website is hardly a requirement.

I put a lot of useful information on my wedding website, and I got several calls from some of my older relatives asking questions that were easily answered on the website. I think it is very likely that your "boor" really just didn't read the website, saw the cake already served on the table, and thought it would be nice to have desert first.

I'm glad your cake plan went well overall though - all sorts of cake flavors to try sounds like a lot of fun!

[kckgirl]

(it was announced both on our FB page and on our wedding website that no table cake-cutting was taking place until after the wedding cake-cutting).

Are you absolutely sure the people who cut the cake saw either your facebook page or wedding web site? I think this was just an unfortunate mistake because the cake was on the table. It probably would have been better to make a real announcement at the recption. I am middle aged and have plenty of friends who never use facebook and don't look at wedding web sites.

[doodlemor]

I just love your clever idea of the edible centerpieces, SoCalVal.

[gellchom]

I, too, love the idea.

I wonder, though, why it was so important to you that no one have any cake before the wedding cake was cut.  Was there some ceremony, game, or activity associated with cutting the cakes?  If not, what difference does it make to anyone else if that table ate their cake early?  It seems a bit controlling to me otherwise.  I am guessing that the idea was for everyone to start at the same time so that everyone could get a slice of each -- or at least an equal shot at it (presumably, none of the cakes would serve everyone in the room)?  But without knowing that, honestly, if I'd been one of your guests, even if I had happened to notice that the cakes were different on each table, I would have thought that your plan was that when everyone at the table was finished with our main course, we should serve ourselves the cake on our table.

In any case, I think you needed to give more notice of your expectation to people than just putting it on your wedding website.  I know I never read them in that much detail, certainly not if it's not someone very close.  Sorry, but I'm not terribly interested in learning where my husband's cousin's bridesmaids went to college or reading a twelve-paragraph story about how my colleague's son met his fiancee or a long history of their charming venue.  If I look at the web sites at all, it's usually just to get registry or logistical information.  I'm not saying that people are wrong to put all that stuff on their website!  But be aware that not all your guests are going to read it -- and the more stuff you put on there, the less likely they are to read it all.  So if there is something you really want them to know, find another way to tell them.

[Hmmmmm]

I love the look of wedding cake centerpieces, though I'll admit it would have been hard for me to sit at a table for more then an hour without cutting into it. 

[SoCalVal]

I, too, love the idea.

I wonder, though, why it was so important to you that no one have any cake before the wedding cake was cut.  Was there some ceremony, game, or activity associated with cutting the cakes?  If not, what difference does it make to anyone else if that table ate their cake early?  It seems a bit controlling to me otherwise.  I am guessing that the idea was for everyone to start at the same time so that everyone could get a slice of each -- or at least an equal shot at it (presumably, none of the cakes would serve everyone in the room)?  But without knowing that, honestly, if I'd been one of your guests, even if I had happened to notice that the cakes were different on each table, I would have thought that your plan was that when everyone at the table was finished with our main course, we should serve ourselves the cake on our table.

In any case, I think you needed to give more notice of your expectation to people than just putting it on your wedding website.  I know I never read them in that much detail, certainly not if it's not someone very close.  Sorry, but I'm not terribly interested in learning where my husband's cousin's bridesmaids went to college or reading a twelve-paragraph story about how my colleague's son met his fiancee or a long history of their charming venue.  If I look at the web sites at all, it's usually just to get registry or logistical information.  I'm not saying that people are wrong to put all that stuff on their website!  But be aware that not all your guests are going to read it -- and the more stuff you put on there, the less likely they are to read it all.  So if there is something you really want them to know, find another way to tell them.

Sorry you feel that way, but we'll just have to disagree here and leave it at that since I don't see it as a control issue and 70+ other guests didn't have to be told at the reception not to cut into the cakes ahead of time.

As far as the website -- YMMV.  I *am* someone who would want to know more about the happy couple, especially if I'm attending their wedding.  I don't disagree with what you're saying here, though (we did provide more than one place for the wedding info but, as we've learned on this forum, there's no one perfect way of disseminating information).

[SoCalVal]

I love the look of wedding cake centerpieces, though I'll admit it would have been hard for me to sit at a table for more then an hour without cutting into it.

I understand, but I have a feeling many on this forum would've waited.

In any case, I know quite a few of the guests were distracted by the dinner buffet so that might've helped quell the sight of a beautiful 8" cake before them (in the tradition of my ethnic and cultural heritage, we had a whole roast pig as part of the dinner, in addition to multiple meats and side options -- I know my friend's wife and one of DH's childhood friends kept returning to the buffet for more of the pork).

Anyway, I really am happy with how things turned out, and I don't think I'd go back and do things differently to try to achieve another outcome (I hope I don't come off sounding extremely mad; at my reception, once I walked away from that table, I forgot about the cake until a couple of days after my wedding).

[gellchom]

Sorry, SoCalVal, I didn't mean to insult you.

I'm still trying to understand, though, why you cared when people cut and ate the cakes at their tables?  I know I am missing something.  Really, I am sure you did have a good reason.  And it worked out beautifully, and your guests had a great time, and that is what is important.

If you (general "you") put food on their table, I think you have to expect that people are going to eat it when they want to, without knowing they are supposed to wait for some kind of signal, same for the dessert as for a basket of rolls or a dish of nuts or candies, all of which I often see on tables at wedding receptions.  (Not if it were The Wedding Cake, of course.)  At a Jewish wedding, usually someone (often Grandpa) makes the blessing over bread (=the meal), and there are always a few people who don't know or forget or don't care and get into the bread baskets or salads on their tables before that, and the sky doesn't fall.  But really the only way to avoid it would be not to put anything out until you want people to eat it.  That would ruin your terrific idea of using the cakes as centerpieces, though (that is SO clever).

I've been to many luncheons where the desserts are already on the table when you sit down, for logistical reasons, I guess.  You just eat it when you're ready for it.  If I'd been at your wedding, I wouldn't have guessed you intended anything different from what I was used to seeing.

I'm not sure what would be the best way to ask people to wait.  Maybe a little card on the table saying something like, "Please cut this cake along with us when we cut our wedding cake" or something like that (I'm trying to avoid something phrased in the less-hospitable "wait" or "do not" kind of wording).  I do feel that mentioning it on the website isn't enough.  Some people might have looked at the site before such details were posted.  And even those who look later may miss it; wanting "to know more about the happy couple" does not always translate to reading every word of every page of a (frequently lengthy) wedding website.  I'm sure you didn't mean to say that guests who don't read them thoroughly don't care about the brides and grooms as much as you do.

[Docslady21]

Sorry, SoCalVal, I didn't mean to insult you.

I'm still trying to understand, though, why you cared when people cut and ate the cakes at their tables?  I know I am missing something.  Really, I am sure you did have a good reason.  And it worked out beautifully, and your guests had a great time, and that is what is important.

If you (general "you") put food on their table, I think you have to expect that people are going to eat it when they want to, without knowing they are supposed to wait for some kind of signal, same for the dessert as for a basket of rolls or a dish of nuts or candies, all of which I often see on tables at wedding receptions.  (Not if it were The Wedding Cake, of course.)  At a Jewish wedding, usually someone (often Grandpa) makes the blessing over bread (=the meal), and there are always a few people who don't know or forget or don't care and get into the bread baskets or salads on their tables before that, and the sky doesn't fall.  But really the only way to avoid it would be not to put anything out until you want people to eat it.  That would ruin your terrific idea of using the cakes as centerpieces, though (that is SO clever).

I've been to many luncheons where the desserts are already on the table when you sit down, for logistical reasons, I guess.  You just eat it when you're ready for it.  If I'd been at your wedding, I wouldn't have guessed you intended anything different from what I was used to seeing.

I'm not sure what would be the best way to ask people to wait.  Maybe a little card on the table saying something like, "Please cut this cake along with us when we cut our wedding cake" or something like that (I'm trying to avoid something phrased in the less-hospitable "wait" or "do not" kind of wording).  I do feel that mentioning it on the website isn't enough.  Some people might have looked at the site before such details were posted.  And even those who look later may miss it; wanting "to know more about the happy couple" does not always translate to reading every word of every page of a (frequently lengthy) wedding website.  I'm sure you didn't mean to say that guests who don't read them thoroughly don't care about the brides and grooms as much as you do.

I would worry the cake would dry out as it sat for another hour or two. Not to mention, with no cake server, it probably cut the cake unevenly. Usually, cakes are portioned to ensure everyone gets a piece--and portions are smaller than the average person would usually cut. So she could very well have been taking more than her share. Not to mention sanitariness. Did she wash her hands? Wear gloves? Use a clean knife? And, the fact that she attempted to hide it proves that she knew it was wrong.

[Hmmmmm]

I love the look of wedding cake centerpieces, though I'll admit it would have been hard for me to sit at a table for more then an hour without cutting into it.

I understand, but I have a feeling many on this forum would've waited.

In any case, I know quite a few of the guests were distracted by the dinner buffet so that might've helped quell the sight of a beautiful 8" cake before them (in the tradition of my ethnic and cultural heritage, we had a whole roast pig as part of the dinner, in addition to multiple meats and side options -- I know my friend's wife and one of DH's childhood friends kept returning to the buffet for more of the pork).

Anyway, I really am happy with how things turned out, and I don't think I'd go back and do things differently to try to achieve another outcome (I hope I don't come off sounding extremely mad; at my reception, once I walked away from that table, I forgot about the cake until a couple of days after my wedding).

I think I should have put a smiley face on my post.  I would have waited just like I wait whenever I make a beautiful birthday cake for someone and REALLY want to cut right into it. I wasn't trying to criticize you, I was trying to say "YUMMM, When do we get to cut the cake!"

[NyaChan]

If the cakes were the centerpieces then logistically I can understand why the couple wanted guests to wait.  Also, I can see how for some, the cake-cutting ceremony signals the beginning of the let's eat cake phase of the reception so it is kinda stealing the couple's thunder.