Author Topic: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?  (Read 3479 times)

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NyaChan

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Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« on: January 28, 2013, 06:37:33 PM »
Host indicates to people who have a yearly tradition of watching the Super Bowl that they would like to host this year.  Host also mentioned that they were asking ahead of time because they had hosted the year previously and didn't want to pre-empt someone else if they had wanted to host.  The people in the group responded that Host should go ahead.  While Host mentioned the event casually later on in conversation, the event was not actually discussed with specifics.  On Friday, so 1 week and 2 days before the Super Bowl, the group received an official invitation asking for RSVPs.  An invitee responded on the last day before the deadline, prompted by the Host's reminder, that they were going to another gathering for pre-game and the first half, but would stop by for the latter half of the game.  Is this appropriate?

siamesecat2965

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2013, 06:45:35 PM »
I think it depends, but wouldn't bother me. It's not like a formal dinner party, where the guest said oh, i'm having drinks and dinner with friend a, but will come by you (friend b) in time for dessert.  To me, its more casual, where someone dropping in later on would be ok.  I've been to SB parties where people come and go. And now that the game begins later and later, sometimes its just not possible to stay the entire time. I know i'm going to friends, but will most likely leave at halftime, and my friends are fine with that. I get up early for work, so I'd like to be home at a fairly reasonable hour, so i can get to bed, etc. in time.

Also, a week and a day or two doesn't seem to be all that much notice; esp for a big event like the Superbowl.  So I don't blame the invitee for accepting another invite, when, even though it was talked about, no firms plans were made.

Deetee

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2013, 06:54:42 PM »
While seeing as I have done a similiar thing (went for a hike and then joined the SB party later) I think it's fine.

There are events where dropping in and out is expected (Open House) and events were it is not appropriate (Formal Dinner).

Some parties are (people may be there for the first part, the last part or the middle) and some aren't.

I would think of a superbowl party as generally being a fairly casual affair and one where it is fine to arrive late or leave early, as I have witnessed that and aside from this thread never considered it anything to even think about.

WillyNilly

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2013, 06:59:00 PM »
I definitely think its fine.  But late comers have to deal with all the good seats already being taken and the awesome food already started!  >:D

katycoo

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2013, 07:32:16 PM »
Yes, for that style party its fine.

For a sit down dinner it isn't but where a person's late arrival or early departure doesn't adversely affect the party, its fine.

NyaChan

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2013, 07:41:14 PM »
If it makes a difference at all, the invite was billed as a dinner & game.  Last year the host had chili with a bunch of sides and a signature cocktail for the event.  That said, I remember two people coming, eating, and leaving at the last one so maybe that's what they were thinking of in reverse. 

katycoo

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2013, 07:51:59 PM »
If it makes a difference at all, the invite was billed as a dinner & game.  Last year the host had chili with a bunch of sides and a signature cocktail for the event.  That said, I remember two people coming, eating, and leaving at the last one so maybe that's what they were thinking of in reverse.

Sit down dinner, or food will be cooked, set out and people can fill plates and watch the game as they choose?  The formality makes a difference.  Is one person not eating dinner going to be awkward for the others like if would be around a dining table?

NyaChan

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2013, 08:01:47 PM »
She doesn't have a dining table actually.  I've been over when it was just me and we ate at the island that has two stools.  When there are more people, she puts out food on that counter when it's time & we all take our food to her living room area where there are couches/chairs/tv to eat.  So I guess there is really no formal dining in the official sense at her apartment?  I don't have a table like that either since I live alone too, so I'm not really sure how others would think of it.   

katycoo

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2013, 08:04:49 PM »
Based on your description, I think its fine.  Ideally the person should be able to tell the host whether they plan to eat dinner at their party on not (and therefore be present at time of food serving) but I don't see a problem.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2013, 08:32:05 PM »
I think it is fine. At other Super Bowl parties I've been to, there is always munchies but then a heavier dinner served during half time.  A few occasions, all the food was set out for people to eat when they wanted.  But I really think this is the type of party where people can come and go.

Deetee

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2013, 08:52:02 PM »
The other very important point is this is up to the host, not guests to decide what is acceptable. I'm pretty laid back for parties and not laid back for dinners in terms of attendence (I was going to say I'm super strict for dinners, but my sister showed up with an extra guest for Thanksgiving and I was completely happy with it. I was just glad the table wasn't completely set so the guest wouldn't realise she was unexpected. I just told my sister after her friend was welcome anytime but I wanted a heads up before.)

Anyhow, I would be put out as the host if I thought guests were getting annoyed on my behalf for something that I, as host, was cool with. 

NyaChan

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2013, 09:28:12 PM »
Deetee, I am not annoyed about it as it doesn't really affect me, but the Host was a little taken aback and told me in private that she was a little hurt.  I don't think she had considered that people would only come for half, but the couple said it so casually that I figured it might be completely normal for others and thought I'd check here. 


Surianne

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2013, 09:50:04 PM »
Sounds pretty normal to me -- I wouldn't consider a sports-watching event as a formal occasion, nor a dinner eaten in the TV room.  Why was the host hurt, did she tell you?

Deetee

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2013, 10:00:16 PM »
Deetee, I am not annoyed about it as it doesn't really affect me, but the Host was a little taken aback and told me in private that she was a little hurt.  I don't think she had considered that people would only come for half, but the couple said it so casually that I figured it might be completely normal for others and thought I'd check here.

If host was annoyed then it was inappropriate. But that said, I still think it is on the host to communicate that to the offending guests, as I would call this type of of party a pretty grey area.

 (It wouldn't bother me as host, but I also do not invite boarish people to my house. I do invite very, very busy people at times so I appreciate that they can make it. I would rather have eat and run over no visit, but I don't know anyone who would abuse it)

katycoo

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Re: Can a person RSVP Yes x 1/2?
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2013, 10:26:31 PM »
Deetee, I am not annoyed about it as it doesn't really affect me, but the Host was a little taken aback and told me in private that she was a little hurt.  I don't think she had considered that people would only come for half, but the couple said it so casually that I figured it might be completely normal for others and thought I'd check here. 

I wonder why Host is taking the 1/2 rsvp so personally?  Its an invitation to watch a sporting event with food.  Its not like the guest is only coming to half a wedding.

I don't wish to downplay her feelings but I don't reallu understand them given the nature of the event.  I just had an 'all day long' BBQ for Australia Day.  The purpose of the party was to listen to the Hottest 100 countdown which plays from 12noon to 6pm.  I didn't care if people couldn't stay the whole time.  I prefer people to come for a bit than not come at all if possible.  It shows that they want to be there.