New Update: This is actually an update to both the engagement thread (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=122408.0
) and this thread, but the part that really sticks out is about the ring so I decided to put it here.
I had drinks with my friend who also invited the Picture-Taker from this thread. This was the first time we'd been together alone since the engagement.
Part 1: My friend told me the day after the party that she had received a text from Todd during the party which she didn't notice until she was home. In this text, Todd was asking her to please go talk to/comfort Jenny because she was upset and crying. Friend, for reasons I don't understand, interpreted this text in context with the difficulty Todd & Jenny were having in finding a wedding date anytime in the near future (they were trying to pick it at the engagement party). She apologized for not seeing the text and expressed her hope that Jenny was okay. Todd responded non-committally (as in no explanation, and very neutral in tone) and it was never mentioned again.
Part 2: Picture-Taker was in the car with another friend and a 3rd party on their way to the party after Todd had told the engagement story at the "pre-game." This 3rd party is good friends with Todd. Picture-Taker had organized an elaborate engagement celebration last year for a couple of her friends back home, spent a lot of time, effort, and money, but was hurt when the friends barely thanked her or appreciated the event. During this car ride to the engagement party, Picture-Taker comments that "Todd & Jenny better not expect me to throw them some sort of a party for their engagement!"
At drinks, Part 2 is told to me and Picture-Taker is angry, because shortly after the engagement party, Todd once again contacts her & is very upset. He brings up the comment she made, says did she really think people weren't going to tell Jenny and him that she's saying this sort of thing? More importantly though, he also then accuses Picture-Taker of stealing the ring. She questioned him as to why he would think she would even bother taking it, how he could say for sure that it wasn't lost in an innocent manner, and explains exactly what she did do in terms of the picture and sending it to her friends, but Todd was steadfast in saying that he may not have proof but he still knows she did it. Picture-Taker questioned whether Jenny knew he was accusing her and talking to her this way and Todd tells Picture-Taker to go ahead and tell her if she wants. Todd said that from now on if they were invited to the same place, he wouldn't go so far as to tell the hosts that he didn't want to attend the same event as Picture-Taker, but that he wouldn't be pretending to be friends either.
Picture-Taker later received a text from Todd: "You should thank Mass. I forgive you. (quotation from Mark that I don't remember)."
So apparently someone in the car (3rd party probably) told Todd and Jenny at the engagement party that Picture-Taker had made that comment. I think Picture-Taker was referring more to her previous experience rather than Todd & Jenny, but 3rd party wouldn't have known about the background, and really why did PT say anything at all? I'm guessing this comment put Todd over the edge and he went ahead and made the accusation. What's really strange though, is that in all this, Jenny never changed in her demeanor towards Picture-Taker and essentially acts as if they are still friends. So you guys were right, it really wasn't a good idea to handle someone else's valuable (whether sentimental or monetary) property.