Author Topic: It's starting to bug me (NN story)  (Read 6964 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

jpcher

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8654
It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« on: January 28, 2013, 07:09:21 PM »
BG: (NN = Noisy Neighbor) but this has nothing to do with the noise. She's been rather quiet lately. She's also been rather cold to me. (Skip to "the reason for my post if you don't need the BG)

A follow-up to this thread: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=122196.msg2818868#msg2818868 . . . The last time (mid-December) I talked to NN at any length the conversation went like this (NN was working in her yard, I approached her for over-the-fence friendly chat):

Me: Hey, Neighbor! How's everything going?

NN: Fine. I'm just trying to get the leaves raked and everything ready for winter.

(5+ minute chit-chat about the weather, upcoming holidays, etc.)

NN: So, I hear you don't like my stereo?

Me: I love your stereo. It's a pretty decent system. LOL! Just not late at night, when I'm trying to sleep or watch TV. ;D

NN: That guy that came over and complained. Does he live with you?

Me: No. He's my DDs BF. They couldn't hear the TV over the (music . . . she cut me off)

NN: He.doesn't.live.with.you (yes, the comment was pretty stern) and thinks it's okay for him to knock on my door and ask me to turn down my stereo?

(She throws up her arms and walks away, shaking her head, before I could respond or finish my statement.)  :o

Ever since then she's been rather cold to me. Whenever I see her I give a wave and a "How are you? Great day isn't it?" happy type of greeting. She pretty much turns around and walks away. /end BG.



Okay, so we'll never be great neighbor-friends. I can deal with that.



The reason for my post and it really is starting to bug me, even though it isn't a huge deal . . . NN has thrown a rather large canvas type of tarp over my fence. It is a shared fence (bordering the properties) but technically it's mine (on my property, I paid for it to be put up.)

It hangs about 4 feet wide and drapes to the ground on my side of the fence. It's been there since mid-December. It's not a hill to die on but it's becoming an eye-sore to me.

Is there a polite way that I can approach NN (since she's been cold to me) and ask her to remove the tarp from my fence? Or should I just look the other way and not stir up more strife?

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16393
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2013, 07:18:03 PM »
It's your fence, so I think you should feel free to ask her about the tarp.  Specifically, ask her if there's someplace else she can put it, because it's becoming an eyesore.

I doubt there's anything you can say that's going to make her less cold to you, so you may as well tell her to remove the tarp so you don't have to look at it.  It's pretty rude of her to just leave it there, since it's not her fence.

Giggity

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8622
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2013, 07:18:25 PM »
Toss it back over on her side of the fence. If she wants to hang it, she can put up a clothes line or something.
Words mean things.

WillyNilly

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7490
  • Mmmmm, food
    • The World as I Taste It
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2013, 07:32:22 PM »
You are of course totally justified in not wanting the tarp there.

If you are ok with approaching her, just be polite but matter of fact about it "hi NN, I wanted to talk with you about the tarp on the fence. Its become and eyesore and needs to be removed." Then give her 24 hours. If she doesn't remove it, pull it off, fold it as best you can, and drop it over the fence into her yard.

YummyMummy66

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 799
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2013, 07:34:54 PM »
Once you put anythin on the property line, no matter who pays for it, is no longer "yours". 

In your case, the side of the fence facing your yard, is yours.  The side on her property side is hers.  She can do whatever she wants to with her side of the fence. 

This is why most people usually put their fence within a few feet of the property line.
(at least this info. is true in our area of Pennsylvania).

Since the tarp is also on yoru side of the fence, I would just put it over on her side of the fence, yard, etc.

BarensMom

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2636
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2013, 07:38:35 PM »
According to the OP, the fence is hers (on her property, she paid for it).

Kiwichick

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1713
  • Is anyone else hungry now?
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2013, 07:42:36 PM »
Toss it back over on her side of the fence. If she wants to hang it, she can put up a clothes line or something.

This.  It's a tarp, it's not going to get damaged lying on her side of the fence.

Scuba_Dog

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3343
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2013, 07:47:54 PM »
Toss it back over on her side of the fence. If she wants to hang it, she can put up a clothes line or something.

This.  It's a tarp, it's not going to get damaged lying on her side of the fence.

X3

You are much more patient than I am because the tarp would have been off of my fence within a week.

Toss it off before it discolors the wood or causes any damage.
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill

JenJay

  • I'm a nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6130
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2013, 07:51:32 PM »
Toss it back over on her side of the fence. If she wants to hang it, she can put up a clothes line or something.

This.  It's a tarp, it's not going to get damaged lying on her side of the fence.

X3

You are much more patient than I am because the tarp would have been off of my fence within a week.

Toss it off before it discolors the wood or causes any damage.

Fourth!

She's rude and annoying and when anyone complains she goes all bratty on top of it? I think you've been as nice and accommodating to her as you could be. If she can't even try to show you the same level of neighborly respect I'd be done with her.

Cuddlepie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 575
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2013, 08:35:18 PM »
Is NN is aiming for a new title:  Queen of PA?  I'll bet her thinking is something along the line of "you don't like hearing my music, well see if you like looking at this!"

Hmmmmm

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6470
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2013, 08:44:18 PM »
I wouldn't just toss it.  I think that might escalate issues more with her.  I'd go over and ask her how much longer she is needing to leave the tarp there since you are concerned about it causing rot or discoloration.  If she says indefinitely or another month it gives you an opening to reply "that won't be possible. You might not be aware but that is my fence.  I paid for it and I don't want a tarp hanging on it for that long. I'd appreciate if you go ahead and move it tomorrow."


mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2200
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2013, 08:51:04 PM »
It might be overkill, but I'd be prepared with property line surveys and proof that the fence is, indeed, on your property and paid for by you.  I'd let her know that you expect the tarp to be gone by the end of the day or you will do with it exactly what you do with other objects you find strewn about your property (toss it, give it away, whatever).  Say it with a smile, but in a no-nonsense tone.  She's not going to take it well no matter how much you try to be nice or sugar coat it, so just be to the point and matter-of-fact.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

snowdragon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2200
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2013, 08:54:55 PM »
I would have taken it back to her the first day. She did not pay for it , she gets no right to use it as she wishes. 

CrazyDaffodilLady

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1261
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2013, 09:22:13 PM »
Send DD's BF over to ask her to take it down.  :)

I've noticed that when certain people behave like a jerk toward you, they turn hostile, like you were the one who misbehaved. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

YummyMummy66

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 799
Re: It's starting to bug me (NN story)
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2013, 08:06:18 AM »
According to the OP, the fence is hers (on her property, she paid for it).

Actually, this is the OP's quote: "It is a shared fence (bordering the properties) but technically it's mine (on my property, I paid for it to be put up.)".

To me, this statement states that it is bordering both properties and is a shared fence.  By that, I take it that the fence is on the property line since it borders both properties.  In my county, if this is done, then no matter who paid for the fence, that fence is now legally owned by both homeowners as it borders both properties.  Therefore, left side property owner can do whatever they want to on their side of the fence and same for the right side.  They can paint it, they can hang things from it, yadda, yadda. 

This is why most people in my county when putting up a fence, do so within so many feet of the property line inside their property.  Actually, when getting permits, in our township, you are not allowed to put it on the property line.  It must be so many feet inside the property line.