It's starting to bug me (NN story)

[cheyne]

Even if the fence were dead on the property line, NN cannot throw the tarp over the fence.  She could tack it up to her side, but if it's over the fence it's on OP's side and would be on her property.

OP, tell her to remove the tarp.  Don't give her 24 hours or some such.  No one needs 24 hours to grab a tarp that's hanging off a fence.  If she doesn't remove it, throw the side hanging over the fence to her side of the yard.  Her tarp, her problem. 

[Indigosails]

According to the OP, the fence is hers (on her property, she paid for it).

Actually, this is the OP's quote: "It is a shared fence (bordering the properties) but technically it's mine (on my property, I paid for it to be put up.)".

To me, this statement states that it is bordering both properties and is a shared fence.  By that, I take it that the fence is on the property line since it borders both properties.  In my county, if this is done, then no matter who paid for the fence, that fence is now legally owned by both homeowners as it borders both properties.  Therefore, left side property owner can do whatever they want to on their side of the fence and same for the right side.  They can paint it, they can hang things from it, yadda, yadda. 

This is why most people in my county when putting up a fence, do so within so many feet of the property line inside their property.  Actually, when getting permits, in our township, you are not allowed to put it on the property line.  It must be so many feet inside the property line.

What is true in your county is not true in every county in every state. To say that the fence is legally owned by each homeowner is not true everywhere.

[Moray]

Just toss it over so it no longer hangs onto "your side" of the fence. In this case, it really is that simple.

[Dalek]

Just toss it over so it no longer hangs onto "your side" of the fence. In this case, it really is that simple.

This

[CharlieBraun]

I would not throw the tarp on her side of the fence.  IMO, that's escalating.

I would take down the tarp, fold it to the extent possible, and place it next to her front door with a weight on it of some kind.  Without comment, without a note, without any other action.  In other words, quietly.

Each time the tarp goes back up, you take the same action again.

[Ticia]

Can we please not get into the legalities of the fence situation, please? Stick to etiquette. Thanks!

[JeseC]

Just toss it over so it no longer hangs onto "your side" of the fence. In this case, it really is that simple.

I wouldn't do this because the neighbor might not realize that it was a problem.  I know if I hung something up and later found it on the ground, my first thought would be that it had somehow fallen down, and I'd put it right back up.  I wouldn't automatically conclude that someone had moved it.

[WillyNilly]

I don't think OP should just flip it over the fence, because the reality is she has to live next to this person.  And the neighbor could retaliate with making OP's life less pleasant (being noisy, for example). And really the neighbor does have a legitimate reason to be no longer friendly with OP - I remember that post and if my neighbor's kid's guest told me to turn down my stereo I wouldn't think too highly of the lot of them either; I wouldn't be nasty, but I'd be cool instead of warm (if I recall correctly the gist of the post even was OP thinking her household, if not herself specifically, was the rude one in the interaction). Flipping the tarp might squish or suffocate NN's plants, or topple a flower pot, or whatever.  Why respond to rudeness with rudeness?

Just because NN doesn't talk to you OP is no reason why you can't talk to her.  How she chooses to respond to your speaking to her politely is her issue, but at least you'll know you took the high road.

[jpcher]

I wouldn't just toss it.  I think that might escalate issues more with her.  I'd go over and ask her how much longer she is needing to leave the tarp there since you are concerned about it causing rot or discoloration.  If she says indefinitely or another month it gives you an opening to reply "that won't be possible. You might not be aware but that is my fence.  I paid for it and I don't want a tarp hanging on it for that long. I'd appreciate if you go ahead and move it tomorrow."

Bold above is an excellent "approach" point. It is a wood fence.

Send DD's BF over to ask her to take it down. 

Oh, my. Am I bad for really giggling at this? I am sooooo tempted! Can I? Can I? Huh? But probably not the best way to handle the situation (although he would do it in a heartbeat.)


I really don't want to just throw it over the fence. That sounds like retaliatory rudeness . . . I did think about it, but posted here instead.


Folding it up and putting it on her doorstep? Due to some of the responses in the wind chime thread, I'm hesitant to touch NN's property.

Just because NN doesn't talk to you OP is no reason why you can't talk to her.  How she chooses to respond to your speaking to her politely is her issue, but at least you'll know you took the high road.

That's a great point, WillyNilly. Thank you for giving me the spine I needed.

Although, talking to her will have to wait a few days or more. We're having a pretty bad rainstorm here (dropping down to freezing then upcoming snow.) Asking her to remove it while it's still wet/frozen is probably not a good thing, right? Or did I just loose my spine?



Thank you, everybody, for your responses. I've never had a "cold/bad" neighbor before, so I wasn't sure how to handle this.

[WillyNilly]

Although, talking to her will have to wait a few days or more. We're having a pretty bad rainstorm here (dropping down to freezing then upcoming snow.) Asking her to remove it while it's still wet/frozen is probably not a good thing, right? Or did I just loose my spine?

I think its ok if you are willing to wait to wait.  But you know this does give you the perfect opening for the concerned about rot angle.  It would make perfect sense, even if the appearance wasn't an eyesore, to want the fence to get a chance to air out and dry after a storm.

[Giggity]

Doesn't she rent? If so, then by definition she owns none of the fence.

[snowdragon]

Although, talking to her will have to wait a few days or more. We're having a pretty bad rainstorm here (dropping down to freezing then upcoming snow.) Asking her to remove it while it's still wet/frozen is probably not a good thing, right? Or did I just loose my spine?

I think its ok if you are willing to wait to wait.  But you know this does give you the perfect opening for the concerned about rot angle.  It would make perfect sense, even if the appearance wasn't an eyesore, to want the fence to get a chance to air out and dry after a storm.

Will it damage the fence to wait.

And if she is a renter - go to her landlord with ALL of these issues.

[Mental Magpie]

Doesn't she rent? If so, then by definition she owns none of the fence.

We've been asked to stay away from the legalities of who owns the fence and I believe this falls into that category.  Please let's not head that direction again.



(Forgot to address the actual post...)
OP, I wouldn't wait to speak to NN about this just because of the weather.  It being a wood fences makes this more urgent as far as combatting wood rot or discoloration.  Those are legitimate concerns you can address right away (other than it just being annoying, which I agree, it is).  Don't hesitate and be polite but firm with her.  "NN, please remove the tarp from the fence before tomorrow afternoon, I'm afraid with this weather it is going to ruin the fence.  Thanks for understanding."

[Giggity]

I'm not sure why noting that renters don't own anything is considered "legal advice"? It seems more like a statement of fact.

[jpcher]

I'm not sure why noting that renters don't own anything is considered "legal advice"? It seems more like a statement of fact.

The fact that NN is a renter doesn't really apply, in my book. She is my neighbor whether she rents or owns. Previous renter (Wonderful Neighbor --WN) was always courteous to the nth degree. I don't think that was because she was a renter, I think that was because she was an extremely personable neighbor.

As Ticia said, please keep ownership of the fence out of this discussion.


Personally? I've been known to hang a few towels or a throw rug or some such thing over the fence to let them dry. But I take them down within a timely manner (a day or two.)