Author Topic: Was I rude?  (Read 2093 times)

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christmascarol

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Was I rude?
« on: January 29, 2013, 04:09:06 AM »
Genuine question!  I was reading the Special Snoflake thread and suddenly wondered if something I did a couple of years ago was rude. 

b/g:  We were at the car wash at our local petrol/gas station.  The queue/line for cars waiting to use it is along the wall, which is on the far side of two lanes of pumps.  You have to get a pin number from inside to use the car wash and you drive your car in, get out and then wait outside whilst the car's being washed.  You back out of the car wash when you're done.

We'd just driven our car into the car wash when a couple drove up to the nearest set of pumps to the car wash.  I watched the woman go inside, pay for something and then came back to the car. 

I thought it was weird that they hadn't filled the tank or that I hadn't seen her get anything to pay for.

I thought it very weird that they didn't drive off.   They just sat there, inconveniencing several other cars.

Then I realised the man was watching the car wash.  And smirking.  Hmmmmm....  Yep, from where he was parked, when we backed out of the car wash, we'd be blocking the next car waiting.  Whereas he'd be able to drive straight in.

This is where I might have been rude. I told hubby I'd wait till he'd driven out before getting in the car.  I purposefully loitered between the waiting driver and the car wash.  When he blew his horn at me, I moved to the left, not the right, still blocking his path.

They drove off, obviously furious.  Was I rude?  I was deliberately obstructive, even if it was for a stranger's benefit.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2013, 04:10:58 AM by christmascarol »

cicero

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2013, 04:22:14 AM »
I'm not sure what you did exactly and why?

are you saying that the man had parked/stopped his car-- in a way that inconvenienced other drivers-- and instead of asking him to move, or alerting one of the gas station attendants, you went and stood in front of his car to block his view?

if that's what happened, then i don't understand why you did what you did.

he may have been either rude or clueless (aren't most car wash places set up that you drive in one way and out another? I've never seen one where you drive in and then have to back out). but i don't understand what/why you did.

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Lindee

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2013, 04:28:37 AM »
I read it that the driver had positioned his car so that when the OP 's car backed out he would be able to jump the queue and by positioning herself in front of his car like that he wasn't able to push in and the next customer waiting in line was able to go in. I vote not rude but potentially dangerous if he had turned nasty.

christmascarol

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2013, 04:29:49 AM »
He did inconvenience other drivers but that wasn't why I did what I did. 

Instead of joining the long line of cars waiting in the usual place for the car wash, he'd parked so that he could jump the queue. 
When we exited the car wash, the next car waiting was behind us and would have had to wait for us to drive off to the right before they could enter the car wash.  This other car was planning, (or they wouldn't have been so angry with me blocking the way), to sneak in from the left. 

I deliberately obstructed one car so that the rightful car wouldn't lose its place.  Was that rude?

christmascarol

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2013, 04:34:49 AM »
Quote
I vote not rude but potentially dangerous if he had turned nasty.

Which never even occurred to me at the time!  Just the unfainess of it.  Thankyou guardian angel.

I didn't make it obvious that I was deliberately blocking him.  I did try and look as I was just loitering because I was bored as I wasn't sure at first if I was right.  Not until they drove off annoyed, then I was sure.

katycoo

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2013, 04:40:18 AM »
I say not rude.

Raintree

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2013, 05:03:58 AM »
Nope, not rude. You weren't blocking the line. He wasn't in the line. If he had said, "you're in my way" you could have legitimately said you weren't stopping him from getting in line for the car wash.

cicero

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2013, 07:02:15 AM »
He did inconvenience other drivers but that wasn't why I did what I did. 

Instead of joining the long line of cars waiting in the usual place for the car wash, he'd parked so that he could jump the queue. 
When we exited the car wash, the next car waiting was behind us and would have had to wait for us to drive off to the right before they could enter the car wash.  This other car was planning, (or they wouldn't have been so angry with me blocking the way), to sneak in from the left. 

I deliberately obstructed one car so that the rightful car wouldn't lose its place.  Was that rude?
ok then in that case:
he was rude
you were not rude.

(but i wouldn't have done what you did - i would have alerted one of the attendants)

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Lynn2000

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2013, 10:54:12 AM »
I'm not sure about rude, but I wouldn't have bothered to do it. If someone from the next car in line, the one who would have been cut off by this guy, had done what you did, it would make much more sense to me, because they would be protecting their place in line from a potential cutter. I think it's a bit odd that you preemptively decided to get involved in a situation that was really between two groups who were total strangers to you, without really knowing either motives or preferences.

At any rate I think a better way would've been to point out the "confusion" to a station attendant and let them sort it out.
~Lynn2000

christmascarol

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2013, 11:20:41 AM »
Thanks for the clearance.  I'm glad I wasn't rude.  It's been on my mind.

We don't live in the U.S., so I don't know what an attendant is/does.  We only have one person manning the tills and they're not meant to leave them, not unless it's an actual emergency.  But I'm not sure I would have called someone anyway, knowing me.  Something for me to bear in mind for the future as unfairness gets to me more than it probably should.

Victim Of Fate

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2013, 05:03:00 PM »
If I'm reading this right, the other driver was basically attempting to queue-jump by placing his car in a spot where he was not only avoiding the queue but also preventing other people from using one of the pumps? In that case, I don't think it was rude to move your car out in such a way as to let the legitimate customer in the car wash queue get in. Same as when you're at a busy bar and, after being served, you step away in such a way as to let the person waiting longest take your spot rather than the person who just got there and perched on your other shoulder.

bah12

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2013, 05:38:26 PM »
He did inconvenience other drivers but that wasn't why I did what I did. 

Instead of joining the long line of cars waiting in the usual place for the car wash, he'd parked so that he could jump the queue. 
When we exited the car wash, the next car waiting was behind us and would have had to wait for us to drive off to the right before they could enter the car wash.  This other car was planning, (or they wouldn't have been so angry with me blocking the way), to sneak in from the left. 

I deliberately obstructed one car so that the rightful car wouldn't lose its place.  Was that rude?

I think the guy in the other car was being rude, but I don't think it's your place to "fix" that problem for others.  I wouldn't say you were rude exactly, but in general, I don't think we should go around interferring and preventing rudeness.  It has the potential to cause more problems.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Was I rude?
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2013, 09:19:27 PM »
If I'm reading this right, the other driver was basically attempting to queue-jump by placing his car in a spot where he was not only avoiding the queue but also preventing other people from using one of the pumps? In that case, I don't think it was rude to move your car out in such a way as to let the legitimate customer in the car wash queue get in. Same as when you're at a busy bar and, after being served, you step away in such a way as to let the person waiting longest take your spot rather than the person who just got there and perched on your other shoulder.

This was my take on it too. And I agree that the OP wasn't rude.

That said, I personally wouldn't have got involved, and run the risk of antagonising the other driver.