Author Topic: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?  (Read 6034 times)

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Giggity

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #30 on: January 30, 2013, 11:46:58 AM »
Would it be possible to call over a waiter and ask that the food she's given you be removed? Possibly if you do this a couple of times, she'll realize you're not going to save it from going to waste.

That makes it the OP's problem. Putting it back in front of Grandma puts the problem back where it belongs.
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Lynn2000

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #31 on: January 30, 2013, 12:11:19 PM »
Depending on how much room there is at the table, you could also just shove the food further along--not in front of any specific person, but maybe in front of an empty chair or behind the centerpiece so you can't see it as easily, whatever distance is needed so you won't be tempted by it. Kind of pretend that's what Grandma was trying to do, set the food "aside" so the server would know to take it away, but she couldn't reach far enough and it ended up at your spot. So you're just passing it on to "aside" to be gotten rid of. You don't even have to say anything, just push it along and continue your conversation, and if anyone asks just say, "No thanks, I don't want it," elaborating as much as you want if they continue to question (including the part about you asking Grandma not to do this).
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mstigerlily

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #32 on: January 30, 2013, 12:19:28 PM »
Maybe when you are done eating and the waiter/waitress has taken you plate you can make sure he/she takes your silverware. That way you don't have anything to eat with. (I know this is a kind of stupid excuse but sometimes telling myself things like that works)


Syfygeek

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #33 on: January 30, 2013, 12:20:01 PM »
I'm in the same situation with my BFF, and thank y'all for the advice.

BFF had WLS last spring, and I'm trying to lose weight by eating healthier among other things.  BFF will order something awesome, eat part of it, and then ask if I want a taste, a taste then becomes the rest because my willpower is lacking!  I'm going to ask for a box as soon as the food arrives so she can box it and the food will not sit there, mocking me with it's goodness.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #34 on: January 30, 2013, 12:27:37 PM »
Would it be possible to call over a waiter and ask that the food she's given you be removed? Possibly if you do this a couple of times, she'll realize you're not going to save it from going to waste.

That makes it the OP's problem. Putting it back in front of Grandma puts the problem back where it belongs.


What's so horrible about the OP helping Grandma with her problem?

And the OP would be modeling behavior that Grandma could adopt.

heck, she could even suggest it. When Grandma says, "I'm full, does anyone else want this?" the OP can say, "Oh, let's get a waiter to take it away" or "Why don't we ask for a takeaway box!"

And even do it herself if Grandma seems hesitant. Once the OP has made it happen a time or two, Grandma may move to do it herself.

Grandma's not an enemy! And the best way to teach is by modeling, actually, not by leaving people stuck with a problem.

Secret Squirrel

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #35 on: January 30, 2013, 12:47:45 PM »
As someone who has also had WLS, I still eat out occasionally with my DH.  I ask for a box as soon as the food comes (if I am ordering a full size meal) and box up what I don't eat right away (I do ask DH if he would like a bite, but if he says no, I don't push it).  This gets the food out of sight (and prevents the wait staff from asking me if the food is okay, and wondering why I am not eating much).

I think that Grandma, who may have had issues with food (maybe resulting in her getting WLS) should not push her food on others. She may know what it's like to over eat and she should not push that on others that may also have food issues.

I, like the OP, would eat and eat, even after I was full.  Sometimes the food tastes so good, I could not stop.  I liken my food addiction to that of any other addict (though I understand not all WLS people have this issue)  Would you push an alcoholic drink on someone who also struggled with alcohol?

I agree with others who say - give the plate back to grandma "oh, I'm full...thank you anyway."  keep your drink or something right in front of you where the plate would go so she cant put anything there. 


One Fish, Two Fish

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #36 on: January 30, 2013, 02:20:32 PM »
You didn't really ask for WL strategies, but this may help you.  Put a mint in your purse.  When you are finished eating, pop it in your mouth.  It's a trick I used to signal the end of the meal. 
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Lynn2000

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Re: Should I tell her to stop or just toss it?
« Reply #37 on: January 30, 2013, 04:33:22 PM »
You didn't really ask for WL strategies, but this may help you.  Put a mint in your purse.  When you are finished eating, pop it in your mouth.  It's a trick I used to signal the end of the meal.

You know, that's a good idea. Or mint gum. Lots of things, like hamburger, french fries, etc. taste nasty with a mint flavor in your mouth, and I personally can't stand to eat something while I'm also chewing gum. I think the suggestion is perfectly relevant here, because if the OP does this and it helps her, she might be less upset about/tempted by seeing Grandma's plate of food sitting in front of her, and then she can more easily use one of the other strategies, like asking if Grandma wanted a box for it. Tackle the symptom first, then the cause, as it were.
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