At the doctor's: "Hello, I'm Bob."

[gorplady]

I hope he's not a gynecologist. Because "Bob Nolastname" is not going to get to see my lady bits.

Seriously, I don't want a doctor to be my pal, I want him/her to be a competent professional. And I suspect that Bob doesn't want patients treating him as a real social friend ("Bob! I know it's 3 am, but I know you wouldn't mind me calling you at home about this wart on my foot!"). Using a professional form of address avoids establishing a false intimacy.

Because they want you to call them by their first name, you think that establishes a false intimacy? How often do we say here we call people what they wish to be called? If he introduces himself as Bob, then Bob is what he wishes to be called. It doesn't imply a false intimacy or lack of professionalism, it's simply his preference.

[onyonryngs]

I hope he's not a gynecologist. Because "Bob Nolastname" is not going to get to see my lady bits.

Seriously, I don't want a doctor to be my pal, I want him/her to be a competent professional. And I suspect that Bob doesn't want patients treating him as a real social friend ("Bob! I know it's 3 am, but I know you wouldn't mind me calling you at home about this wart on my foot!"). Using a professional form of address avoids establishing a false intimacy.

I really don't mind my doctors using their first names.  I'm more worried that the doctor is competent - etiquette is the last thing I'm going to be worried about if I've got an issue that needs to be fixed.  And "false intimacy" - the gyno is going to see your lady bits, that's as intimate as a doctor can get.  Isn't it a good thing to be able to talk to your doctor?  I'd rather be a bit more comfortable with my gyno as there are all sorts of intimate questions that might come up. 

[Dalek]

My dentist goes by his first name in the office. I have a mild phobia of dentists but calling him by his first name makes me feel a little more relaxed during procedures. He's a really cool guy and a really great dentist.

[Hmmmmm]

(his specialty is sports medicine/orthopedics. So not the most intimate of body parts. And the sports/injury part may have led to a different vibe with his patients--maybe more like the collaborative relationship you'd have with a physical therapist, whom I might easily call by his/her first name.)

I wonder if that has something to do with it. I've found those guys (sort of like plastic surgeons) are more into marketing of their talents ans services than say a general pratictioner. Since he has a unique first name, it's almost like he's using it as "branding".

But I'm like you, I just wouldn't want to call any of my doctor's by a first name only.

[BeagleMommy]

I refer to most of my doctor's by Dr. Lastname.  The only exception is my dentist because she's in practice with her father so I refer to her as Dr. Kim when I call for an appointment.

Toots, you mentioned the relationship physical therapists have with their clients.  I know this is true because I refer to my therapist by his first name.  Although he has his doctorate I only call him Dr. Lastname when I'm being snarky.  He will refer to me as Mrs. BeagleMommy when I do that.  We tend to be very informal with each other.

[bansidhe]

I hope he's not a gynecologist. Because "Bob Nolastname" is not going to get to see my lady bits.

Seriously, I don't want a doctor to be my pal, I want him/her to be a competent professional. And I suspect that Bob doesn't want patients treating him as a real social friend ("Bob! I know it's 3 am, but I know you wouldn't mind me calling you at home about this wart on my foot!"). Using a professional form of address avoids establishing a false intimacy.

I really don't mind my doctors using their first names.  I'm more worried that the doctor is competent - etiquette is the last thing I'm going to be worried about if I've got an issue that needs to be fixed.  And "false intimacy" - the gyno is going to see your lady bits, that's as intimate as a doctor can get.  Isn't it a good thing to be able to talk to your doctor?  I'd rather be a bit more comfortable with my gyno as there are all sorts of intimate questions that might come up.

To me, a gynecologist doing his or her job isn't any more intimate than a dentist doing his or her job. It's still just a professional rel@tionship no matter which body parts are involved. You aren't buddies or lovers or even casual friends.

I agree with Twik. I would be rather startled if a doctor introduced himself to me by first name only and would have a tough time calling him that. That said, when I think about this logically, it doesn't make sense that I have this standard for doctors and a few other professions and not for, say, mechanics or air conditioner repair people or hair stylists. I want those guys to be competent professionals also. I think this is probably just a matter of tradition and the tradition is in the process of fading away.

If I were the OP and were likely to see this doctor on a regular basis, I guess I'd ask him straight out how he preferred to be addressed and go with whatever he requested, even if it sounded odd to me.

[Twik]

I hope he's not a gynecologist. Because "Bob Nolastname" is not going to get to see my lady bits.

Seriously, I don't want a doctor to be my pal, I want him/her to be a competent professional. And I suspect that Bob doesn't want patients treating him as a real social friend ("Bob! I know it's 3 am, but I know you wouldn't mind me calling you at home about this wart on my foot!"). Using a professional form of address avoids establishing a false intimacy.

Because they want you to call them by their first name, you think that establishes a false intimacy? How often do we say here we call people what they wish to be called? If he introduces himself as Bob, then Bob is what he wishes to be called. It doesn't imply a false intimacy or lack of professionalism, it's simply his preference.

Let's say someone was introduced to you, and told you he wanted you to call him "My darling". Would you be obligated to do so?

[Yvaine]

I hope he's not a gynecologist. Because "Bob Nolastname" is not going to get to see my lady bits.

Seriously, I don't want a doctor to be my pal, I want him/her to be a competent professional. And I suspect that Bob doesn't want patients treating him as a real social friend ("Bob! I know it's 3 am, but I know you wouldn't mind me calling you at home about this wart on my foot!"). Using a professional form of address avoids establishing a false intimacy.

Because they want you to call them by their first name, you think that establishes a false intimacy? How often do we say here we call people what they wish to be called? If he introduces himself as Bob, then Bob is what he wishes to be called. It doesn't imply a false intimacy or lack of professionalism, it's simply his preference.

Let's say someone was introduced to you, and told you he wanted you to call him "My darling". Would you be obligated to do so?

This is a slippery slope that doesn't really work. We've talked in many threads on here about how you should respect people's preference to be called whatever version of their name they prefer, whether that be Bob or Rob or Robert or Dr. Smith. I don't see how that extends to endearments like "my darling."

It's OK if that's a dealbreaker for you and would make you want to find a different doctor. It's a free market! Fire that doctor and get one who calls himself Dr. Jones. But it doesn't make Dr. Smith rude. It's just a quirk that you don't like.

[Moray]

I hope he's not a gynecologist. Because "Bob Nolastname" is not going to get to see my lady bits.

Seriously, I don't want a doctor to be my pal, I want him/her to be a competent professional. And I suspect that Bob doesn't want patients treating him as a real social friend ("Bob! I know it's 3 am, but I know you wouldn't mind me calling you at home about this wart on my foot!"). Using a professional form of address avoids establishing a false intimacy.

Because they want you to call them by their first name, you think that establishes a false intimacy? How often do we say here we call people what they wish to be called? If he introduces himself as Bob, then Bob is what he wishes to be called. It doesn't imply a false intimacy or lack of professionalism, it's simply his preference.

Let's say someone was introduced to you, and told you he wanted you to call him "My darling". Would you be obligated to do so?

That's absurd, and you know it. A first name is different than a term of endearment. The two simply aren't equivalent.

[audrey1962]

It's OK if that's a dealbreaker for you and would make you want to find a different doctor. It's a free market! Fire that doctor and get one who calls himself Dr. Jones. But it doesn't make Dr. Smith rude. It's just a quirk that you don't like.

Agreed. I believe you can fire your doctor for any reason you want. Don't like tall, dark and handsome? Find someone else. Too casual? Find someone else. Rude? No, not IMO.

[Twik]

It's not rude to say, "I'm Bob," but I don't think it's rude to reply, "Hello, Dr. Smith." If that gives him heebiejeebies, then he can fire the patient.

"I'm Bob," is an invitation towards intimacy (not sexual, but social). One does not *have* to accept that.

[Moray]

It's not rude to say, "I'm Bob," but I don't think it's rude to reply, "Hello, Dr. Smith." If that gives him heebiejeebies, then he can fire the patient.

"I'm Bob," is an invitation towards intimacy (not sexual, but social). One does not *have* to accept that.

You know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Saying "I'm Bob" doesn't mean he wants to be buddy-buddy. Just that he wants to be called Bob.

[Jloreli]

Hmmm I call all of my doctors by their first names and they call me by mine. I think if one insisted on being Dr. Thusandsuch I would insist on being Mrs. JloreliLast. I would be put off if they addressed me by my first name but wanted to be "Dr.".

[Twik]

It's not rude to say, "I'm Bob," but I don't think it's rude to reply, "Hello, Dr. Smith." If that gives him heebiejeebies, then he can fire the patient.

"I'm Bob," is an invitation towards intimacy (not sexual, but social). One does not *have* to accept that.

You know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Saying "I'm Bob" doesn't mean he wants to be buddy-buddy. Just that he wants to be called Bob.

And therefore, my calling him Dr. Smith just means I want to do that.

[onyonryngs]

It's not rude to say, "I'm Bob," but I don't think it's rude to reply, "Hello, Dr. Smith." If that gives him heebiejeebies, then he can fire the patient.

"I'm Bob," is an invitation towards intimacy (not sexual, but social). One does not *have* to accept that.

You know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Saying "I'm Bob" doesn't mean he wants to be buddy-buddy. Just that he wants to be called Bob.

And therefore, my calling him Dr. Smith just means I want to do that.

Don't people get to choose what we call them?  I'd be a bit off-putting if I said to call me Onyon and the person insisted on calling me Ms. Ryngs.  If my doctor prefers Bob, it's respectful to call him the name he prefers.