At the doctor's: "Hello, I'm Bob."

[gorplady]

It's not rude to say, "I'm Bob," but I don't think it's rude to reply, "Hello, Dr. Smith." If that gives him heebiejeebies, then he can fire the patient.

"I'm Bob," is an invitation towards intimacy (not sexual, but social). One does not *have* to accept that.

You know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Saying "I'm Bob" doesn't mean he wants to be buddy-buddy. Just that he wants to be called Bob.

And therefore, my calling him Dr. Smith just means I want to do that.

Forgive me, but your reply makes very little sense.

[cass2591]

To those who are bickering, knock it off.

[Twik]

A few years ago, there was a survey done on patients' attitude toward doctors. The original thesis was that calling yourself Bob, throwing off your white coat, and bouncing into the examining room in jeans and sweatshirt would help with patient relationships - you know, the doctor was not intimidating, or (horrors) formal.

Instead, they found that most patients *wanted* the white coat. They *wanted* Dr. Smith, rather than Bob, because they needed a doctor. And they wanted one who gave off an air of "competent professional". Dr. Smith, they felt subconciously, has a better chance of helping them than Bob.

I'm sure Bob is a nice guy, probably a good doctor, who believes that avoiding calling himself Dr. Smith is helpful to his patients. However, he may be turning a lot of his patients off, or at least not using social cues to establish their trust in him. Part of healing is psychological, and he's not using it to his advantage.

[TootsNYC]

It's not rude to say, "I'm Bob," but I don't think it's rude to reply, "Hello, Dr. Smith." If that gives him heebiejeebies, then he can fire the patient.

"I'm Bob," is an invitation towards intimacy (not sexual, but social). One does not *have* to accept that.

You know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Saying "I'm Bob" doesn't mean he wants to be buddy-buddy. Just that he wants to be called Bob.

And therefore, my calling him Dr. Smith just means I want to do that.

Don't people get to choose what we call them?  I'd be a bit off-putting if I said to call me Onyon and the person insisted on calling me Ms. Ryngs.  If my doctor prefers Bob, it's respectful to call him the name he prefers.

No, absolutely note. I don't think that anybody gets to dictate that you must be on less-formal terms with them.

They say, "I'm Bob," or "Please, call me Bob," and you can continue to call them Dr. Smith or Mr. Johnson. You have simply indicated that you do not wish to be informal.

Of course you run the risk of offending them by rejecting their friendliness (and that risk is higher in a world in which so few people go by honorifics). But you  haven't violated an etiquette rule.

In *my* doctor's practice, I bet he doesn't hurt his relationship with his patients at all. They all jocks together, sort of.

[cass2591]

Really, Twik?

Thread locked.