Poll

Men addressing women as "dude" - thoughts?

Duu-uude! (Fine.)
86 (48.6%)
DUDE. Just -- DUDE. (Not fine.)
20 (11.3%)
Dude? Okay.... dude....(It depends)
67 (37.9%)
I'm a dude
4 (2.3%)

Total Members Voted: 177

Author Topic: Dude, is this rude?  (Read 5372 times)

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Spring Water on Sundays

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #45 on: January 31, 2013, 02:33:38 PM »
I tend to use "dude" more as an exclamation of sorts. I think a previous poster compared it to "hey." I normally use it to express mild irritation, as in, "Dude, look out!" or the fact that I'm impressed, "Duuuuude. That was amazing."

I don't normally use "dude" as a form of address unless I'm being a bit silly/playful. Normally, I would consider "dude" a more masculine term, but a lot of those are rather androgynous. I think of it a bit like "handsome": not what one would normally expect to be applied to a woman, but not insulting. I would be upset if my crush called me "dude," though, as it seems less affectionate and more "one of the guys." (Kiss of death unless we're an item.)

I absolutely agree with the bolded. While "dude" is a way to address another person, it's also an exclamation like Hey! or Whooaaa... and can be used towards males or females equally.

However, if I'm describing a person, "dude" is always masculine.

Examples: "Did you talk to Lisa when you called the dog groomer?" "No, a dude answered the phone." (meaning, no it wasn't Lisa, it was a man)

"Who was at the door?" "Some dude selling magazines." (if it was a male) or "Some woman/girl selling magazines." (if it was a female)
« Last Edit: January 31, 2013, 02:35:12 PM by Spring Water on Sundays »

Luci

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #46 on: January 31, 2013, 03:13:30 PM »

The funny thing is I've taken to using "dude" when I see drivers doing stupid things.  DH just about fell out of the car laughing when I called out "Dude!  What is your defect?!" at the driver who cut across four lanes of traffic without looking.

 :D New phrase to put into my repertoire! Thanks!

mrkitty

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #47 on: January 31, 2013, 04:16:15 PM »
Quote
That has NOT been okay here since the 50's!

Maybe not in your circles.  But I hear it all the time.  And I love it when I'm called that by a waitress or someone like that (tone mattering as always, of course).  I don't have a problem with it nor do I find that it's, particularly, rare.




I agree with you that the circumstances matter a great deal. While I, personally, don't love being called a term of endearment by anyone with whom I'm not intimate (emotionally, that is), I think it's a far, far different proposition from being called "dear" by a friend than by a male person I don't know very well. It can be seen as very condescending (or even harassment) in certain situations, especially when gender is involved.

I was just trying to make the point that not everyone in the South does it or appreciates it, although circumstances and appropriateness vary.  ;D
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CreteGirl

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #48 on: January 31, 2013, 04:30:20 PM »
I think dude is a fun and casual way to address someone.  But on-line, it can be different.  My best friend posted something on Facebook about a TV show she was watching.  I teasingly responded "Dude, why are you watching such boring stuff?".  We tease each other often, so it was fine.  However, a guy (who I don't know) who was participating in the thread assumed I was talking to him and took great offense to my comment.

audrey1962

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #49 on: January 31, 2013, 04:31:54 PM »
I've been called honey twice just this week: on Tuesday by the Korean owner of the dry cleaner and yesterday by the Chinese owner of a take-out restaurant. Both are about my mother's age and have thick accents. I wasn't bothered one bit.

Bringing it back to the OP, I would be bothered if a guy at a party that couldn't remember my name called me that.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #50 on: January 31, 2013, 07:52:05 PM »
I hate when people misrepresent the etymology of the word "dude".  I correct them right away  >:(  /OT

If I say "A dude answered the phone" or "that dude over there", I definitely mean a man, but when I say "Hey, dude, what's up?" it could be either sex.  In these cases, dude is synonymous with guy/s.  "A guy answered the phone", "that dude over there", and "Hey, guys, what's up?".

I also use it as an exclamation, ie "Dude, stop it!"
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CakeEater

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #51 on: February 01, 2013, 12:15:56 AM »
I find it interesting that all these terms of address; dude, guys, man, are all masculine forms, but becoming socially acceptable to use for women. However, I wonder how many men would be fine with me walking up to a mixed group of people and saying, 'Hi ladies.'

OP, I'm in Australia, and dude isn't really as widely used here as it seems to be in the US, so that probably colours my view. Dude, to me, is masculine and a bit juvenile, so I'd be a bit confused by someone using it to address me, but I wouldn't be super offended.


DottyG

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #52 on: February 01, 2013, 12:22:52 AM »
and a bit juvenile,


That's kind of the reaction I have to it, more often than not. It's kind of one of those things, in my opinion, that a certain age group says. But when someone of an older generation says it, it's almost an internal eye-roll thing. Like they're trying too hard to be young.


dirtyweasel

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #53 on: February 01, 2013, 03:04:31 AM »
"Dude" is its own language where I come from, but I'm from Southern California so that's to be expected.  I've heard many conversations where pretty much every other word was "dude."  I would almost consider it a way of life here in some social circles.



ClaireC79

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #54 on: February 01, 2013, 03:21:47 AM »
I don't like it and would find it odd but then also not in the US, I'm quite used to getting called 'luv' etc by random men and it doesn't bother or offend me

Danika

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #55 on: February 01, 2013, 03:33:45 AM »
My circle of friends often uses "dude" to mean "hey" or "Wow, that's shocking" like an incredulous tone. So if someone said to me "Dude, pass the chips" I wouldn't hear it as "Masculine person, pass the chips." I'd hear it as "Wow. I can't believe you're so thoughtless. Pay attention. I need chips over here." That's the only part that would seem rude to me.

So if an acquaintance (who forgot a woman's name) really intended to say "You there, pass the chips" to a female, it'd go over better if he/she said "Dude, please pass the chips" because that would sound more like "Hey! Now that I got your attention, please, pass the chips" and would be more polite. If they wanted to emphasize the point that the word "dude" meant "you there" instead of "hey, I need your attention" then they'd probably say "Dudette, please, pass the chips."


"Who was at the door?" "Some dude selling magazines." (if it was a male) or "Some woman/girl selling magazines." (if it was a female)

My friends and I tend to use "chick" as the female version of "dude." It's not intended to be disrespectful, but just lacking in refinement. We'd just say "some chick selling magazines."

Twirly

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #56 on: February 01, 2013, 09:32:42 AM »
[quote author=Danika link=topic=124557.msg2878846#msg2878846
My friends and I tend to use "chick" as the female version of "dude." It's not intended to be disrespectful, but just lacking in refinement. We'd just say "some chick selling magazines."
[/quote]

I was just coming to post this exact thing! In my circle when referring to a third party, guys are dudes and girls are chicks, but when speaking directly to someone it's usually "Hey dude" to either gender.

As a chick myself I never realized it was considered offensive by some until an older relative took me to task. Now I try to limit it usage to my own peer group but I really don't mean anything by it other than my speech is fairly casual and juvenile across the board. I grew up in Southern California and though I haven't lived there in almost ten years, I'm often told I speak like a Valley Girl. 

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Hmmmmm

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #57 on: February 01, 2013, 09:38:34 AM »
and a bit juvenile,


That's kind of the reaction I have to it, more often than not. It's kind of one of those things, in my opinion, that a certain age group says. But when someone of an older generation says it, it's almost an internal eye-roll thing. Like they're trying too hard to be young.

Yeah, I'd be suprised if a contemporary of mine (late 40's) used it to address me for say "Dude, would you pass me the chips".  But if they used it as "Dude! You ate the last cookie!" we'd all get a laugh out of it.

But if I heard one of my DD's (teen) friends call her Dude, it wouldn't suprise me at all.

poundcake

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #58 on: February 01, 2013, 09:44:34 AM »
"Dude" is its own language where I come from, but I'm from Southern California so that's to be expected.  I've heard many conversations where pretty much every other word was "dude."  I would almost consider it a way of life here in some social circles.

I've found that whenever I live elsewhere in the world, my inadvertent use of "dude!" is a great source of entertainment.

2littlemonkeys

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Re: Dude, is this rude?
« Reply #59 on: February 01, 2013, 10:31:05 AM »
In a casual setting, such as you described, I wouldn't think twice.  I might be a little surprise to hear it in a more formal setting but I don't think I'd be offended. But I'm pretty hard to offend with stuff like that.  You'd have to call me something horrible to get a rise out of me.