General Etiquette > general

Unbelievable! People who don't get it...

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My basic question here is, was my friend rude?  Was there another way for her to put this?

My friend (Lara) and her fiancee live in between their work/school locations, so it's an hour commute for them both.  Luckily, when their lease is up in June, they will be able to move to the city where her workplace is located.  In their search for housing, they had a friend offer up her place for rent (she is taking a one-year sabbatical overseas).  The house is amazing - the pool was apparently featured in some magazine, major yard, luxe touches and additions, all the bells and whistles.  It's also in my friend's price range, bonus!  Of course she is happily sharing this news.  She called me yesterday and relayed to me/paraphrased this IM exchange with another friend of hers (Mel).

Lara:  We have decided to rent the house for a year.  It's XYZ, pool, hot tub, isolated, etc...
Mel:  Boyfriend and I are coming to city where house is located in March.  We'd love to visit!
Lara:  I'm not moving until June.
Mel:  This vacation in March is for our anniversary, I think Boyfriend is going to propose.  It would be so special if it happened at the house of our dear friends.
Lara:  But I don't get the house until June.
Mel:  I really wish you understood how important this is to us.  You should talk to the owner and try to move earlier.
Lara:  Mel, Fiancee doesn't finish school until May.  I'm not clear on why you don't understand that we won't be living in the house in March.

At this point, Mel logged off.  She called a few hours later and left Lara a very nasty voicemail, stating that Lara was rude and inconsiderate, and didn't have to be so snide in saying no to Mel's request.  Lara is completely baffled, and as a people-pleaser type, wondering what she could have done to make this turn out differently.  Without question the answer was no, I certainly don't think Lara was snide... I had the same question, and in my impatience probably wouldn't have asked it as nicely.  WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE DATE OF THIS MOVE?

I don't think your friend was rude. All she did was state fact. "Mel we aren't going to be living in the house until June." Mel didn't want to hear it and instead threw a hissy fit. Your friend is in the clear GSNW, and she was way politer than some folks would have been, so kudos to her for that.

Lara is totally fine. And I don't get the special meaning if the guy proposed at a friends house. This isn't really friend's house, this is a place where they will be living for a year. So I have no idea why that would even have special meaning.

Wow, talk about not listening.  Lara was not rude.  Mel was so focused on being able to stay in this fabulous place that she paid no attention to the fact that Lara wouldn't be in the house at the time.

Rude doesn't even enter into the equation unless you are talking about Mel. (Some friend. Personally, I'd get rid of her.) The good thing is that Lara now knows not to ever tell Mel anything ever again, and to never, ever, never invite her over to visit for any length of time or any reason.

Good grief.  ::)

Edited to clarify I am talking about Mel.


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