Author Topic: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...  (Read 6423 times)

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GSNW

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Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« on: January 31, 2013, 01:10:13 PM »
My basic question here is, was my friend rude?  Was there another way for her to put this?

My friend (Lara) and her fiancee live in between their work/school locations, so it's an hour commute for them both.  Luckily, when their lease is up in June, they will be able to move to the city where her workplace is located.  In their search for housing, they had a friend offer up her place for rent (she is taking a one-year sabbatical overseas).  The house is amazing - the pool was apparently featured in some magazine, major yard, luxe touches and additions, all the bells and whistles.  It's also in my friend's price range, bonus!  Of course she is happily sharing this news.  She called me yesterday and relayed to me/paraphrased this IM exchange with another friend of hers (Mel).

Lara:  We have decided to rent the house for a year.  It's XYZ, pool, hot tub, isolated, etc...
Mel:  Boyfriend and I are coming to city where house is located in March.  We'd love to visit!
Lara:  I'm not moving until June.
Mel:  This vacation in March is for our anniversary, I think Boyfriend is going to propose.  It would be so special if it happened at the house of our dear friends.
Lara:  But I don't get the house until June.
Mel:  I really wish you understood how important this is to us.  You should talk to the owner and try to move earlier.
Lara:  Mel, Fiancee doesn't finish school until May.  I'm not clear on why you don't understand that we won't be living in the house in March.

At this point, Mel logged off.  She called a few hours later and left Lara a very nasty voicemail, stating that Lara was rude and inconsiderate, and didn't have to be so snide in saying no to Mel's request.  Lara is completely baffled, and as a people-pleaser type, wondering what she could have done to make this turn out differently.  Without question the answer was no, I certainly don't think Lara was snide... I had the same question, and in my impatience probably wouldn't have asked it as nicely.  WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE DATE OF THIS MOVE?


Nikko-chan

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2013, 01:13:46 PM »
I don't think your friend was rude. All she did was state fact. "Mel we aren't going to be living in the house until June." Mel didn't want to hear it and instead threw a hissy fit. Your friend is in the clear GSNW, and she was way politer than some folks would have been, so kudos to her for that.

QueenfaninCA

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2013, 01:14:55 PM »
Lara is totally fine. And I don't get the special meaning if the guy proposed at a friends house. This isn't really friend's house, this is a place where they will be living for a year. So I have no idea why that would even have special meaning.

BeagleMommy

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2013, 01:15:27 PM »
Wow, talk about not listening.  Lara was not rude.  Mel was so focused on being able to stay in this fabulous place that she paid no attention to the fact that Lara wouldn't be in the house at the time.

Amara

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2013, 01:15:33 PM »
Rude doesn't even enter into the equation unless you are talking about Mel. (Some friend. Personally, I'd get rid of her.) The good thing is that Lara now knows not to ever tell Mel anything ever again, and to never, ever, never invite her over to visit for any length of time or any reason.

Good grief.  ::)



Edited to clarify I am talking about Mel.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2013, 01:17:14 PM by Amara »

cicero

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2013, 01:17:33 PM »
wow. mel was beyond rude. lara was fine.

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DottyG

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2013, 01:18:20 PM »
Agree with the others about Mel's rudeness in not comprehending the problem with the dates.

However, I'd even back it up and say that the rudeness began here:

Quote
Boyfriend and I are coming to city where house is located in March.  We'd love to visit!

She invited herself and her boyfriend to come stay with the Lara on her own?  That wasn't right.

Judah

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2013, 01:18:37 PM »
Let's see, it's not my house, it's not your house, but you're a huge meanie because you won't let me stay in the fabulous house that's not yours. Mel, is all kinds of special isn't she?  ::)
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

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auntmeegs

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2013, 02:10:00 PM »
Let's see, it's not my house, it's not your house, but you're a huge meanie because you won't let me stay in the fabulous house that's not yours. Mel, is all kinds of special isn't she?  ::)

Exactly!  Why couldn't Lara have offered to rent another house after finding out how important this is?   :o ::)

strawbabies

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2013, 02:14:07 PM »
What's next?  Mel trying to contact the actual owner of the house after Lara has moved out and expecting them (a stranger) to let her and her husband/fiance stay there because it's where he proposed and, "It's our anniversary!"  I wouldn't put it past her if she expected the homeowner to move out and let Lara have the place 3 months early.

weeblewobble

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2013, 02:17:20 PM »
Yes, how dare Lara not accommodate this "friend's" attempts to invite herself to stay with her?  Lara did fine. Mel is the center of her own universe and Lara would do well to fall out of her orbit.

Tabby Uprising

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2013, 02:31:06 PM »
I like how Mel complains "You just don't know how important this is to us" before she (I presume) has even told her boyfriend about the situation.  She's assuming he's going to propose, wants to propose in a luxurious house of Mel's choosing, and assuming this is all very important to him - at least as soon as he finds out!

jedikaiti

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2013, 02:37:42 PM »
Anyone starting to feel sorry for the poor BF who not only has a GF who thinks she's the center of the universe, but (if she's right) is about to end up spending months dealing with a total Bridezillastein?
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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QueenofAllThings

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2013, 02:39:49 PM »
You would think that after all this time on this forum it would be impossible to astonish me.

You would think wrong. Mel is a very special snowflake, and I can't wait to hear the stories when she graduates to Bridezilla. 

Tabby Uprising

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Re: Unbelievable! People who don't get it...
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2013, 02:43:19 PM »
And she does not care one bit about the proposal happening in a "house of dear friends".  She wants him to propose in the uber cool with a pool house!  There are many ways to be surrounded by friends during a proposal that don't hinge on being at the House of Awesome.