S/O PD Student Darwinism

[Jocelyn]

My mother had a student complain of being ill, and she sent the student to the nurse's office. During the study period, she sent the student teacher to check to make sure the girl had gone there, instead of skipping out. When HE didn't return by the beginning of the next period (planning period), Mom went to check. She found the student reclining on a bed, the student teacher sitting on the desk chatting with her...and the curtain pulled so they could not be seen from the hallway. Mom pulled the student teacher out and told him never, never, ever should he put himself in that situation again. He was offended, but she continued, 'And what would you do if the girl said you'd made advances to her?' Oops.
Sounds like that young male teacher had learned by bitter experience that junior high school girls develop very strong crushes, and they aren't above letting their fantasies run away with them...and sharing those fantasies with friends. Your students may be little kids to you, but to them, you can be a potential lover.

I know, as the district hired the young man, and I had a crush on him when he was my teacher. Fortunately I was smart enough to realize that his interest in me was limited to that of me being his former supervising teacher's child.

[Twik]

The kid who walked into my office on a hot, sticky day and moved the student chair from the side of my desk to right next to mine, adjusted the fan so it would blow directly on him and not on me at all, sat down, propped his elbow on the desk, leaned into my face and said, "So, what can I do so you give me an A in this class?" He was quite unhappy when I adjusted  the fan and told him, "Do all the work and come to me with any questions." Apparently, he'd been hoping to write a song and play the guitar and get an A in English class.

I suspect he'd been hoping to do something else, because this sounds SO much like the beginning of a p*rn flick....

[blue2000]

I have a student who had to retake a course from last semester. Since it's the identical course, I made sure to let all students know up front that they are not allowed to use any work from any previous courses for this one. All work had to be new and fresh. Well, I figured this student would try to use answers from last semester for one of the first assignments this semester. And sure enough, this student did. What the student didn't realize is that I have access to all past courses and assignments turned in online. So I checked responses from last semester to this semester, copied and pasted it into the grade feedback section with 0 points given, and then after the next class had a little chat about cheating.

Not exactly illegal, but definitely PD - a friend of mine in college took a year of 'prep courses' I guess you would call them. He did not get into his chosen program, so he retook the prep year - and handed in the exact same assignments that he did the first time. He just erased or whited out the grade and resubmitted it. There was no rule against this in our program, so he could if he wanted.

Sadly for him, neither his current teachers nor the ones in his desired program were impressed by this. And the whole point of retaking the year was so he could impress them more than he had the previous year. He never did get in.

[yokozbornak]

When I was in college (very small school so this is a big deal), one of the seniors who was about three weeks away from graduating decided to borrow a friend's car (with a huge parking sticker from the university) and go rob a bank at gunpoint. The police showed up to question the friend and he proved that he had lent the car to the other guy - and then he handed over the cash that the friend have given him as a thank-you for letting him use the car. The cash, of course, could be traced by to the bank.    They raided the other guy's dorm room and arrested him.  It caused quite a stir!

He had a been a good student with a bright future so none of us could ever figure out why he did it.  The irony is that the senior shirts that year had a picture of of a ball and chain and handcuffs and said "Breaking free of the 4 year grind." 

[DottyG]

Telling on myself here, because Camlan just startled me with her story.

On the first paper one semester, I gave a student a "C." Not horrible, but not a great grade, either. She came to talk to me about the paper. In the middle of her heated defense, she blurted out, "But my high school English teacher gave this an A!" Not plagiarism, as she did write the paper herself

If you had been an actual professor in that story, I would have wondered if I had been in your class

I shouldn't admit this on myself, but I did that very thing - with the same grade results. A in high school to a C in college.

[PeterM]

The kid who walked into my office on a hot, sticky day and moved the student chair from the side of my desk to right next to mine, adjusted the fan so it would blow directly on him and not on me at all, sat down, propped his elbow on the desk, leaned into my face and said, "So, what can I do so you give me an A in this class?" He was quite unhappy when I adjusted  the fan and told him, "Do all the work and come to me with any questions." Apparently, he'd been hoping to write a song and play the guitar and get an A in English class.

I suspect he'd been hoping to do something else, because this sounds SO much like the beginning of a p*rn flick....

One of my favorite teachers in college was a TA who taught several of the lower level courses. He told us one time that he'd actually lived the classic cliche, or at least the beginning of it. At the end of a study session shortly before the final for a class he taught at a different university, it was just him and a very attractive female student left in the classroom. She came up to the desk, blushed, and informed him that she would do absolutely anything to get a good grade on the test. Anything.

My TA said his brain just shut down and he stared at her. The girl stammered some nonsense syllables and fled the room. Neither of them ever spoke of it again. My TA was still angry with himself, though, that he hadn't had the wits to give the classic reply, which of course is something along the lines of "I suggest you study."

Seriously angry with himself, he was. "Study!" he yelled. "That's all I had to say! But no!"

[cabbagegirl28]

So, I know this girl named Pollyanna (not real name). I've posted about her before here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=114879

She is a blizzard of snowflakery and Darwinism. Where can I begin? Well, besides the stuff from the previous story...

• She makes every single story anyone ever tells about herself, and makes sure that it's the most crass story she can tell on herself.
• She had such an attendance problem in band that she was kicked out. The director is one of the nicest directors I've met, but you do not come late to anything relating to him. Woe betide you if you don't have a reasonable excuse for being late.
• She tells false stories about professors in our department. The department is small, so I know pretty well the professors about whom she lies. For example, she made a professor out to be a complete harpy, when she had just made a small suggestion for practicing her instrument.
• She was upset that a different ensemble professor was angry that she didn't show up to the first rehearsal for a musical production (she was in the pit). However, she had refused to tell him where she had gone, because she "couldn't tell him something that important". For the record, it wasn't legal or medical; it was a wedding, and not her own, either. She just didn't want to tell him, and thought he was mean for asking.
• When the orchestra professor tried to kick her out, she (whited for triggers) threatened to kill herself. From what someone who's closer to her told me, that turned into a huge emotional mess all around.

3.5 months. That's all I gotta say.

[magician5]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

[mmswm]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

[Iris]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

One of my students once handed in his homework all scrumpled and covered in crayon. His little sister (3) had gotten hold of it. It was still legible so I accepted it, marked it, and included a sticker for his sister's contribution

Then there was the student who wrote "Syntax Error" as the answer to one of the questions on his test. Well, that's what the calculator told him I guess...

[Jocelyn]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

I once had to return a paper to a student, with the explanation that my cat had shredded the corner...

[diesel_darlin]

I go to a Community College. At the end of last semester, they had a deal set up where students could turn their used books in for money. Some guys thought they were slick and started stealing books from students. The buy back people caught on after the 2nd or 3rd time they saw the same guys.

[CakeEater]

I was teaching 11/12 year olds at the tim, and all five classes (150ish kids) would gather after lunch on Friday and all would go with various staff to do various sports. All knew beforehand which sport and teacher they were to go with, so we'd just wait until everyone was there and break into the groups.

I had 4 girls in my class who were the classic 'friends one day, mortal enemies the next' group. They decided that they didn't want to participate in Friday sport, so instead of coming to the sport, they would head to the bathrooms and spend the next 2 hours there. If they were caught, it was easy to behave like they'd just been to the bathroom, head out towards the sports fields, and double back to the bathroom again.

Spending two hours in a toilet notwithstanding, they managed this routine for a couple of weeks until the group had yet another falling out and one of the girls came on Friday morning an warned me that the others would be doing this in the afternoon in order to get them into trouble.

So come 1/2 hour into sport, I headed into the bathroom and caught the group of three, and had quite a chat. Unfortunately for the girl who'd dobbed them, they were only too willing to pull her down with them, and informed me that she'd been doing this with them for the past three weeks.

So lesson learned: don't fight with your co-cospirators, and if you do, don't dob them in for something that will get you into trouble as well.

[twiggy]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

In jr. high I had to tell my math teacher that my bird ate my homework. He had nibbled all around the edges of the paper, and left presents all over the page. I got the extra day because I didn't blame the dog, and because I had a good reputation with homework.

Last week, I had to ask DS's teacher for an extra pack of worksheets because DS left his papers on the ground and the baby ate them. Teacher laughed, and said she's never heard that one before.

[Coley]

DH reminded me about a student he had who was incensed that she was getting a B in his class because it would destroy her GPA. You see, she had a 3.8 GPA already, and she was trying to work her way up to a 4.0.