S/O PD Student Darwinism

[camlan]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

One of my students once handed in his homework all scrumpled and covered in crayon. His little sister (3) had gotten hold of it. It was still legible so I accepted it, marked it, and included a sticker for his sister's contribution

Then there was the student who wrote "Syntax Error" as the answer to one of the questions on his test. Well, that's what the calculator told him I guess...

One of my college roommates used to babysit a little girl two afternoons a week. And once, I finished a paper early. I left it sitting on my desk in all its glory when I went off to another class.

Only to return to find the little girl had been in the room, unsupervised for a short time, and had scribbled black marker all over it. You couldn't read most of the paper. I had to take it to the professor and ask for an extension to re-type it (this was in the days before home computers). Thankfully, he was very understanding.

I was not so understanding with my roommate, who blamed me for leaving the paper out, even though we had agreed the little girl would never be in our room.

[camlan]

The kid who walked into my office on a hot, sticky day and moved the student chair from the side of my desk to right next to mine, adjusted the fan so it would blow directly on him and not on me at all, sat down, propped his elbow on the desk, leaned into my face and said, "So, what can I do so you give me an A in this class?" He was quite unhappy when I adjusted  the fan and told him, "Do all the work and come to me with any questions." Apparently, he'd been hoping to write a song and play the guitar and get an A in English class.

I suspect he'd been hoping to do something else, because this sounds SO much like the beginning of a p*rn flick....

One of my favorite teachers in college was a TA who taught several of the lower level courses. He told us one time that he'd actually lived the classic cliche, or at least the beginning of it. At the end of a study session shortly before the final for a class he taught at a different university, it was just him and a very attractive female student left in the classroom. She came up to the desk, blushed, and informed him that she would do absolutely anything to get a good grade on the test. Anything.

My TA said his brain just shut down and he stared at her. The girl stammered some nonsense syllables and fled the room. Neither of them ever spoke of it again. My TA was still angry with himself, though, that he hadn't had the wits to give the classic reply, which of course is something along the lines of "I suggest you study."

Seriously angry with himself, he was. "Study!" he yelled. "That's all I had to say! But no!"

I can completely understand the brain shutting down thing. You're just standing there, thinking, "That didn't just happen, did it?" Just totally unprepared for what the student has just done.

With this kid, however, it was more likely that he'd just had a business course that talked about how to take control of a situation--how to take over a space and intimidate the other person. At least that's how it felt to me. And he was a business major. He just wanted to do lots of extra credit and get out of actually writing papers.

Although now that I think about it, he did close the door to the office, and the very first thing I did was get up and open it.

Talk about putting a completely new spin on something . . . .

[Yvaine]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

I once had to return a paper to a student, with the explanation that my cat had shredded the corner...

I know a couple of teachers and professors whose dogs have eaten their students' work. 

[Adelaide]

One of my professors is a very brilliant but somewhat "socially absent" man, and he told this story to our class. He said that after grades were released a girl came by his office to talk to him about hers, dressed to the nines with a lollipop in her mouth. His initial thought was "That's weird, why is she so dressed up in skimpy clothes, she usually wears hoodies and sweats" but he didn't think anything else of it. She then asked if there was anything she could do to raise her grade. He said no, explaining that grades were already in. She leaned over the desk, right in his face, and asked if there was *anything* she could do to raise her grade. He had to explain twice more that sorry, all opportunities for extra credit and the like had passed because he couldn't alter grades once they'd been turned in. He thought about it some more. He asked his wife if she thought something weird was going on, at which point his wife shook her head and good-naturedly said "Hon, you're an idiot."

((Personally, I'd call the student the idiot in this scenario, not the well-meaning professor. xD ))

[camlan]

One of my professors is a very brilliant but somewhat "socially absent" man, and he told this story to our class. He said that after grades were released a girl came by his office to talk to him about hers, dressed to the nines with a lollipop in her mouth. His initial thought was "That's weird, why is she so dressed up in skimpy clothes, she usually wears hoodies and sweats" but he didn't think anything else of it. She then asked if there was anything she could do to raise her grade. He said no, explaining that grades were already in. She leaned over the desk, right in his face, and asked if there was *anything* she could do to raise her grade. He had to explain twice more that sorry, all opportunities for extra credit and the like had passed because he couldn't alter grades once they'd been turned in. He thought about it some more. He asked his wife if she thought something weird was going on, at which point his wife shook her head and good-naturedly said "Hon, you're an idiot."

((Personally, I'd call the student the idiot in this scenario, not the well-meaning professor. xD ))

As a TA, we got the same sexual harassment training that the professors did. They showed us a video with a scene exactly like this, and we all laughed, because we just couldn't imagine it happening in real life. Guess we were wrong.

[Jocelyn]

He asked his wife if she thought something weird was going on, at which point his wife shook her head and good-naturedly said "Hon, you're an idiot."
 

I had a similar conversation with my dissertation chair. Commendably, he was a very ethical man, but I couldn't believed that he'd gotten to full professorship without realizing that the cute young things whose skirts hiked up and whose necklines sagged down weren't the unfortunate victims of wardrobe malfunctions. 

[Dazi]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

I actually had to send a note to school with one of my children, along with pictures for evidence, asking if there was anyway my middle son could have an extra day to redo a project because my (now deceased) cat had shredded part of it.

I once had to return a paper to a student, with the explanation that my cat had shredded the corner...

I know a couple of teachers and professors whose dogs have eaten their students' work. 

My teacher's pot bellied pig ate the entire class's homework one evening.   

[Winterlight]

One of my friends who's a college professor told me this one: Student1 submits a paper at 2am. Student2 submits the same paper 40 minutes later- the exact same paper. She pulls both of them into her office that afternoon and presents the evidence. Student1 freaks- he's on an athletic scholarship and this could tank him. Student2, BTW, is his girlfriend. She cops to having copied the file and sent it in as hers. He was cleared, she flunked the assignment and was warned if she ever pulled anything like this again they'd throw the book at her and she would be expelled.

He continued to date her. I'd have run like Godzilla was chasing me, personally.

[Outdoor Girl]

I had to rewrite a biology test in high school once.  The teacher's car had been broken into and they stole his briefcase, full of our yet to be marked tests and his $5 calculator.  Bet those thieves were some mad when they got that briefcase open...

[yokozbornak]

I had to rewrite a biology test in high school once.  The teacher's car had been broken into and they stole his briefcase, full of our yet to be marked tests and his $5 calculator.  Bet those thieves were some mad when they got that briefcase open...

Unless the thief was a student who was going to flunk the test! 

[Julian]

I just want to know why they keep letting pet stores sell that breed of "homework-eating dogs".

My dog killed my Kindle last Friday... 

Yes, my teeny little <15lb dog.  She ate a bone, with the bone resting on the Kindle screen.  It broke the screen - it has a spot with black and white lines radiating from it.  To make it worse, the Kindle was in my bed.  Sigh...

[nuit93]

One of my professors is a very brilliant but somewhat "socially absent" man, and he told this story to our class. He said that after grades were released a girl came by his office to talk to him about hers, dressed to the nines with a lollipop in her mouth. His initial thought was "That's weird, why is she so dressed up in skimpy clothes, she usually wears hoodies and sweats" but he didn't think anything else of it. She then asked if there was anything she could do to raise her grade. He said no, explaining that grades were already in. She leaned over the desk, right in his face, and asked if there was *anything* she could do to raise her grade. He had to explain twice more that sorry, all opportunities for extra credit and the like had passed because he couldn't alter grades once they'd been turned in. He thought about it some more. He asked his wife if she thought something weird was going on, at which point his wife shook her head and good-naturedly said "Hon, you're an idiot."

((Personally, I'd call the student the idiot in this scenario, not the well-meaning professor. xD ))

Confession: I briefly considered doing this for a high school class I was struggling with big-time.  I was young and stupid (and the teacher was fresh out of college so only about five years my senior) but luckily had the sense to choose the option that wouldn't ruin my teacher's life.  So instead I buckled down and studied my hiney off and got through with a C-.

Looking back, I realize that any attempts I'd made to be seductive would have been downright laughable.  I'd never even had a boyfriend by that point!

[Outdoor Girl]

I had to rewrite a biology test in high school once.  The teacher's car had been broken into and they stole his briefcase, full of our yet to be marked tests and his $5 calculator.  Bet those thieves were some mad when they got that briefcase open...

Unless the thief was a student who was going to flunk the test! 

The theft happened a long drive away from town so I don't think so.  There were definitely people in the class who would have considered it, though.

[whiterose]

A friend of mine in college:

- could not pass the test that one is required to enter the upper division. A test that I got very high scores in even though English is my second language. She wanted me to take it for her. I cannot exactly impersonate you if you look very different from me.
- plagiarized an assignment in a class once. She took short excerpts from various other people's papers. She did not think it would count as plagiarism, since it was not whole pages or the sort. She got a zero in the assignment- but was not expelled, and she did not even fail the class.
- had me read and summarize a book for her once. It ended up benefiting me, since not only the book was awesome, but nowadays I booktalk it often and have used it as part of summer reading boxes.
- did not take a test or turn in an assignment once because she was "too tired" and "did not feel prepared for it".

She was also a big time moocher who liked to gossip.

Needless to say, we are no longer friends.

[kherbert05]

I had to rewrite a biology test in high school once.  The teacher's car had been broken into and they stole his briefcase, full of our yet to be marked tests and his $5 calculator.  Bet those thieves were some mad when they got that briefcase open...

Unless the thief was a student who was going to flunk the test! 

When I was in HS a lower classman was failing a class. He decided to destroy the teacher's gradebook - by blowing up the room with a pipebomb. Thankfully the bomb went off at 1 am instead of 1 pm when he intended it to. (It was a math class that he was failing)

The parents were OUTRAGED that the school DARED to press charges and ruin the lives of the bomber and his driver.  There was a petition to make the School Board drop the charges. My parents just walked away in shock when someone tried to get them to sign it. I remember one of the bullies, who had tormented me from K crying in class because his parents were backing the petition - he was supposed to be in the math class at 1 pm. He could have been hurt or killed and his parents were backing the bomber.

Another scary thing is about 1/2 way through our freshman year at university a couple of girls from my HS and I were talking after a Poli Sci class were terrorism had been discussed. The three of us had just then realized that pipebomb making wasn't a normal teenaged activity.

I swear we aren't sociopaths are anything. Until the school classroom was bombed - it was just treated as "something boys do" by parents in the neighborhood. No different than setting off firecrackers. (Actually I suspect that most of the "pipebombs" were firecrackers)