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Update and Further Advice Needed Re: Post "Help in Dealing With Sister!"

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I had a previous post titled "help in dealing with sister", and now I have an update and some additional advice is requested. Thanks to all who responded in the previous thread, it helped a great deal .

After I sent her that last email where I attempted to explain myself she wrote back. She basically said the same things she said before, not in so many words, but made the comment that it's been hard for EVERYONE to respect the decisions and 'mistakes that you and DH made". Then she said . 'not just one decision , but a series of decisions".

In my last email I brought up my older brother and sister in a very minor way as an example, saying nothing negative about that. She told me that I , "Clearly do not know these people anymore.  Older brother (who was formally on the family 'black list') is now great and he has raised a , ' wonderful, self sufficient , successful daughter with her head on good and straight and he is raising a lovely young man." Which reads to me that she is saying , Brother has done a much better job than you, HIS DD is perfect!". It should be noted that this DD we are talking about (mine and my sister's niece) was previously on the 'black list ' as well  and now all of a sudden they are cleared and perfect. She went on to say that our other sister has hardly any flaws at all and is constantly working on bettering herself.
THEN she decided to ask me , "Why did DH apologize to your DD if you guys think you didn't raise her wrong? I am confused? Are you saying you did or didn't do right by DD?"  For one, she has absolutely no idea what DH (or I ) apologized to DD for. She has no business asking me these personal questions after I told her one email previously that I would NOT discuss how I raised DD with her.

She also said some other minor things , such as referring to her and everyone else in the family as the people in " DD's circle" .

I sent her this email back , " I feel I owe it to you to let you know that this discussion is now over for me. It is sad, but it is clear to me that we will not be able to repair our relationship. I think it is best that we stop trying. I wish you nothing but the best , (her name) ."

She responded back , " I am disappointed to hear that . Why did you decided to stop trying? You hurt me why are you shutting me out because I hurt you?I don't think you should close the door on me just yet. I tried to be respectful. I think you are ending this discussion because it isn't easy for you. "

I did not respond back. Comments? Advice? Suggestions?

I'd stick her in a black hole and not look back.

Stop reading her emails - she's nuts!

Can you block her emails, send them to a folder that you never open?

Would it be a lot of trouble to close that email account, and open another?

You don't deserve such treatment from your sister, or from the rest of your family.  Just make some gentle overtures to your daughter - at some point she is likely to recognize the truth.


--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on February 03, 2013, 12:50:11 PM ---I'd stick her in a black hole and not look back.

--- End quote ---
more or less, this.

and if i were in your shoes, if there was any relationship i would put any energy into repairing - ti would be the one with your DD . maybe not now, but hopefully someday down the road. with your sister it is clear that between you two the communications is just.not.there.

This sound maybe a bit rough but I would let go of the past. By that I mean you need to make a choice. Either include her in your life and not bring up the past as painful as it was or cut her out and be done. Its obvious she doesn't see what she and other does as wrong and you are getting nothing out of it except hurt feelings. I don't think it was right of them to back stab you or be cruel but at the same time your daughter is part of the blame since she dramatized things and agreed with the "running away"


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