Update and Further Advice Needed Re: Post "Help in Dealing With Sister!"

[gena264]

And in a sense , walking away from sister , is NOT trying

The only way to win is not to play.

The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

You can't change other people, you can only change your own actions.

Yes VERY true, thank you ! I admit I got sucked back in. I wanted things to work with my sister. She was always very special to me , especially when we were young. Another poster in the previous thread ( Cami, I believe) told me that I need to look at how my relationship with my sister is NOW, not how it was.  That was the most difficult part, wanting to be as it was, but like Cami said, it can not be that way again. So knowing that as well as realizing the dynamic will not change and is toxic , it is time for me to change my actions by not responding to her again.

[GrammarNerd]

Yeah, I agree....just don't play.

My sister was one of those who always had to be on the outs with someone.  Someone was her best friend (and to listen to her tell it, that BFF-of-the-month person could practically walk on water!), and then a few months later...can you believe what that *#)$*#( did?  It was really hard to keep up with her and to know who was in her good graces or not. 

And she would change her mind about something to suit whatever mood she was in.  Luckily (and I still wonder how this happened), I had her number at a very young age.  I had a period of time, like 7-8 years, where we didn't speak.  It was blessedly peaceful. 

OP, I have to say that it really sucks for you that your whole family is like this, and they essentially 'stole' your daughter and brought her to the dark side.  Hopefully, she'll see the drama for what it is at some point.  I hope you can rekindle a good relationship with her, apart from all of your other drama-llama relatives.

[War_Doc]

This goes beyond etiquette and into family counseling.  Your last few topics have been more in line with relationship advice (with your family) then actual etiquette things.  Since we only know one side and we don't know the dynamics of your family,  it makes it rather unfair to sit and judge from that perspective.  Regardless, I would recommend seeking out a qualified family counselor since the problem seems to originally stem from your DD's departure and the reasons behind that.