The Awkward Guest

[eltf177]

Any one of the stunts that she's pulled would be enough to seriously think about having her back a second time.  Any two of them would make a third visit unlikely (unless married to a close relative).  Nick is NOT a relative and is an ex-BF of some sort (the OP mentions a fling that they had that had her mother being chilly but apparently cordial to Nick at the OP's wedding to someone else).

I'd suggest telling Nick that Nora just doesn't seem to enjoy her visits to your house and you'll miss seeing him but you just can't put someone to so much trouble to come see you all when she doesn't enjoy it.  She wants free travel, doesn't want to chip in for fuel when getting a ride, doesn't want to go by bus, and doesn't see any problem in letting people know that coming to see them is just such a hassle to arrange....?   

Let me make it easier for you and drop you off the invitation list!   

I agree with this, 2 and 4 would have been the end for Nora in my mind. Any one of these faux-paux's is bad enough, two is beyond tacky, three or more is grounds for a perma-ban.

Nick needs to be given an ultimatium: "Keep Nora in line or the friendship ends."

[SpikeMichigan]

 Wow.

 She sounds like a gem.

 The soup thing I could have just written off as poor thinking, not a big deal on its own. Breastfeeding, I could totally get her being uncomfortable if it was at the table, but it wasn't. And then insulting your mother on top of that?

 Two questions. Is she a nice person in any regard that you could maybe deal with this?
 and

 How good a friend is Nick that you might be willing to endure her?

[MrsVandy]

The soup sounds like poor planing. But everything else sounds like crazy town. I wouldn't be inviting them to very many events if any at all in the future.

[Twik]

EvilTwik would have, when Nora made the crack about the OP's mother, said with a bright smile, "Yes, she is an unpleasant person. But really, it's not that odd that her ring is like yours. You two have so much in common!"

[heartmug]

Ugh, not much of a guest is she?  I too had guests one time (adults and children party) talking about taking their kids to a ball game with my nephews right in front of my kids.  I asked them to please not talk about that right in front of my kids but they really didn't see a problem and thought I was too over protective.

[Mikayla]

This girl is not awkward, she's a disaster.

Even if Nick is a super-awesome person and you're afraid of losing contact with him, it's not worth the costs.  He chose an awful partner in life and there are natural consequences to that. Maybe you and DH can finds ways to continue your friendship with Nick alone. 

Works for me.

If I was super close to Nick, I'd talk to him and find a way to say the bolded politely, because I'd feel I owed him that honesty.  He's chosen a tough path.

[BeagleMommy]

Nick is in for a lifetime of apologizing for Nora's behavior once they marry.  The BF comment would have gotten her "If it bothers you that much, go to a different part of the house and stop watching".

I dislike the mother of one of DS's friends.  The woman is crazy with a capital "C" and a drama llama to the enth degree.  However, I would never dream of saying that in front of the young man.

[LadyR]

Nora is a nice enough person, most of the time, but as I said she has no filter. We get along fine, but have very little in common and I can't imagine hanging out with her one on one. When we lived in Big City we used to go out with her and Nick for dinner a lot as Nick lived down the street from our favourite sushi place and I always enjoyed her company. I haven't seen her a lot in the four years since we've moved, maybe 3-4 times a year.

[Dalek]

Wow! Terrible story. It's almost like Nora made a checklist of how to be a bad guest and followed it. The only thing missing was her not removing her shoes and tracking mud into your house. 

[weeblewobble]

Nora is a nice enough person, most of the time, but as I said she has no filter. We get along fine, but have very little in common and I can't imagine hanging out with her one on one. When we lived in Big City we used to go out with her and Nick for dinner a lot as Nick lived down the street from our favourite sushi place and I always enjoyed her company. I haven't seen her a lot in the four years since we've moved, maybe 3-4 times a year.

In situations that suit her down to the last detail (favorite sushi place, very close to her home) she may be pleasant.  But it sounds like she's one of those people that can't deal with adversity in the slightest.  If this is how she deals with things that don't agree with her (transportation issues, interpersonal conflicts, breasts), I can't imagine spending time around her would be a lot of fun.