Gifting money on the death of a relative

[Arrynne]

Whomever is closest to the lady should -ask-.  Some families need help with expenses, some would prefer food or flowers, others like a memorial charity donation.  Any of the above, done with good intentions, should be appropriate. 

[snappylt]

When my own mother died a few years ago, one elderly acquaintance of hers did send me a check for $25 (made payable to me) inside her sympathy letter.

At first I didn't know quite what to do with the money.  I was very fortunate that my mother had a pre-paid funeral plan, and all of her other bills had been paid up-to-date, so I didn't need the money for final expenses.  I decided to endorse the check over to the public library in my mother's home town.  (I checked with the librarian first.)  It was used to buy a memorial book with an inscription saying it was from the acquaintance, and I wrote the acquaintance a nice letter thanking her and telling her what I had done.

Everyone else who contacted me after my mother's death either just expressed sympathy, or arranged their own order of flowers or memorial gift.

I thought any of those gestures were just fine.  I was pleased that others  remembered my mother kindly.  I think what the club members want to do is OK, in other words.

[TootsNYC]

There is nothing wrong with giving the daughter cash.

I think it matters who is paying the funeral costs.  I would find it odd to be giving cash to a daughter if the mother had a husband who was paying for the funeral, for example.

Perhaps. Although when I received cash in an envelope from an aunt-in-law after my mother's death, I knew that she intended it to help my father with expenses from the funeral, so I forwarded it to him.

[TurtleDove]

Perhaps. Although when I received cash in an envelope from an aunt-in-law after my mother's death, I knew that she intended it to help my father with expenses from the funeral, so I forwarded it to him.

That I do not find odd.  I think my personal experience has jaded me a bit on this.